Q. What did the molecular gastronomy chef call his dessert pastry topped by fresh lawn clippings?
A. Pie ala mowed.

Q. Why was the apple tart so happy?
A. It won first pies at the county fair.

Q. How are cow pies and cowgirls alike?
A. Pardner, the older they are, the easier they are to pick up!

Q. Who led the apples to the bakery?
A. The Pie Piper.

When it comes to telling seedy apple pie jokes, PainfulPuns gets to the core...

Q. What happens if you eat too much pumpkin pie during the fall?
A. You get autumn-y ache.

Q. Which kind of pie is the favorite of ghosts in Australia?
A. Boo Meringue.

Q. How do you make vegan meat pot pie?
A. For the crust, use Colorado canna-butter. It's harder to find the vegan for the filling...

Q. Which laboratory container does a scientist use for pie experiments?
A. A peach tree dish.

Q. What do you call a gassy apple pie?
A. Tooty Fruity!

Q. What does Pooh Bear eat at parties?
A. Blue bear-y pie.

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite dessert to enjoy with his after dinner coffee?
A. Pie with eyes cream.

Q. What happened to the thief who was caught stealing a vanilla cream pie from the bakery?
A. He ended up in police custardy.

Q. What did the apple pie say to the pecan pie?
A. You're Nuts!

Q. Which Colorado fruit dessert is made using cannabis butter?
A. Baked apple pie.

Q. What is it called when somebody topples over a tangy dessert pie?
A. Upsetting the apple tart.

Q. What did the pastry chef say when a creamy dessert pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
A. It hit despot.

Q. What is the best thing to put into a key lime pie?
A. A fork.

Q. Which tropical fruit has a pie right in the middle of it?
A. A Papaya.

Q. Which fruit dessert did Isaac Newton always gravitate toward?
A. Fall apple pie.

Q. How did the baker know somebody spiked his chocolate pie?
A. The proof was in the pudding.

Dumb Customer: The crust on this apple pie was way too tough.
Waiter: Sir, that was the pie pan.

Q. What did the apple say to the apple pie?
A. You're crusty!

Q. What is the best thing to sink into pumpkin pie filling?
A. Your teeth.

Q. How do you make an apple puff?
A. Chase it around the orchard.

Q. When is an apple pie like a golf ball?
A. When it's sliced.

Q. What is the left side of an apple called?
A. The part you didn't eat!

Q. Why did the bakery hire so many apples?
A. There was a lot of turnover!

Q. What did the pirate wear over one eye while eating pie for dessert?
A. A strawberry patch!

Q. Why did everybody like that darling little strawberry pie so much?
A. Because it was so sweet.

Q. How many calories are in a gram of strawberry pi?
A. 3.1459265.

Q. How can you tell you're getting close to a pie shop?
A. The billboard you just pased said it's 3.14 miles ahead.

Q. Which kind of pie needs eight forks?
A. The octopi.

Q. What is the mantra of dieting dropouts in Texas?
A. Remember the Ala Mode!

Q. What is chicken pot pie?
A. Three favorite things on the menu at the Colorado edibles cafe.

Q. What did the mince meat pie say to the fork?
A. So, you wanna a piece of me?

Q. Which American folksong is actually about a pastry chef from New England?
A. Yankee Strudel.

Q. What is a turkey's favorite fruit-filled dessert?
A. Peach Gobbler!

Q. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Good pie, everyone.

Q. Which seasonal treat is the best seller at the Colorado cannabis edibles shop?
A. Pumpkin pot pie.

Q. What does a math geek have for dessert on Thanksgiving?
A. Pumpkin Pi.

Q. Why don't jack-o-lanterns like pumpkin pie?
A. 'Cause they're not cannibals.

Q. Which kind of Thanksgiving dessert has the most calories?
A. Plump-kin pie.

Q. What is the biggest decision you'll have to make this November?
A. Pecan pie or pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving?

Q. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?
A. Use pecans instead!

Q. Which kind of a snake wears edible underwear?
A. The Pie-Tthong!

Q. Which kind of snake measures about 3.14 feet long?
A. A Pi-thon.

Q. Which kind of reptile in the Florida Everglades only eats dessert?
A. The Pie-Thon!

Q. What happened when the pie maker's wife came home early?
A. She caught him master baking.

Q. What did they say to Christopher when he made a nice apple tart?
A. Good Pie, Columbus.

Q. What happened when the baker crossed an apple with a Christmas tree?
A. He got enough pineapple pies for a crowd.

Q. What is a math teacher's favorite dessert?
A. Pi.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. 'Cause they use pi-lots.

Q. How do you know your math tutor is hungry?
A. She'll work for pi.

Math Teacher: Pi R Squared.
Student: False. Pie are round. Brownies are square:

Science Chat Up Line: Hey babe, you look sweeter than pi!

Student: Have you ever had synonym pie?
Teacher: No, but I've had something similar to it.

Q. Why did the pumpkin pie finish its Thanksgiving dinner?
A. 'Cause it was filling.

Q. Which dessert is a king's favorite?
A. Apple pie ala moat.

Q. What do you call somebody who steals a poultry dish out of your oven?
A. Chicken Pot Pirate.

Q. What do you call a sailor who morphs into a pumpkin dessert?
A. A squash-buckling pie-rate.

Q. What happens when you take the P out of the Pie?
A. i.e. Irate Pirate.

Q. What is a gray shark's favorite dessert?
A. Octo-pie

Q. Why did the pot pie cross the road?
A. 'Cause she was meat 'n a potato.

Q. What is an Alaskan polar bear's favorite summer desser?
A. Eskimo pie.

Q. What do astronauts abourd the International Space Station eat for dessert?
A. Pie in the sky.

Fruity Dessert Point to Ponder: When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie, ist that amore?

Q. How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?
A. 3.14.

Q. What is the most popular dessert of math teachers in Georgia?
A. Peach Pi.

Q. How many grams of protein are in a slice of apple pi?
A. 3.1459265.

Q. After Dorothy left Kansas, where did she go to weigh up pie?
A. Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.

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