|
Breakfast
Jokes, Fried Egg Puns, Waffle Humor
IHOP
along with flaky cereal jokes, waffle humor, pancake puns and hearty breakfast
toasts.
Toast Jokes, Breakfast Humor, Pancake Puns
('Cause Waffling Jokes, Poached
Egg Humor, and Crepe Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream
at a Pancake House!) |
Warning:
Proceed Carefully! Scrambled egg jokes, toast humor, breakfast ceral
LOLs and crepe-y puns ahead.
| Breakfast Jokes | Cop
Cuisine | Colorado Dining |
Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood
Puns | Pirate Eats |
| Egg Jokes | Milk
| Butter | Cheese
Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice
Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Bread Jokes | Baker
| 2 | Dessert
Puns | 2 | Pie
| Beverage | Coffee
| 2 | Soda
| Beer | Wine
|
| Fruity Humor | 2
| 3 | Apple
Jokes | Banana Funs | 2
| 3 | Lemon
| Orange Puns | Strawberry
|
Q.
What is the best way to serve a stack of puncakes?
A. Syruptitiously.
Q.
How much do Waffle House patrons enjoy the chef's trendy
new all-you-can eat buffet?
A. To the fullest.
Q.
How does a penguin chef make pancakes?
A. He uses his flippers.
Waffle
House Pick Up Line: How
do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
|
Q.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
A. Because they can't take a yoke!
Q.
How do Painful Punsters prefer their eggs cooked up?
A. Funny side up!
Today's
Breakfast Groan: I had a problem with my boiled egg this
morning, but I've cracked it now.
IHOP
Chef Chat Up Line: Babe,
omelette you in on a my big secret...
|
Did
you hear the joke about oatmeal? It's not mush
of a laugh.
Q.
Which breakfast cereal features bites shaped like little
boats?
A. Fruit Sloops.
Q.
Why did the pothead plant Cheerios?
A. He thought they were donut seeds.
Morning
Meal Point to Ponder: Is eating breakfast in front of the
TV at the same time every day actually breakfast cereal?
|
Q.
What did one slice of bread say to the other when he noticed
there was butter and jelly on the table?
A. I guess we're toast.
Q.
Why doesn't bread like hot weather?
A. Because it's too toasty!
Q.
Why did toast break up with margarine?
A. For a butter lover.
Q.
What does a policeman hate on his morning toast?
A. Traffic Jam. |
Q What did the skeleton order for breakfast at IHOP?
A.. Boo-berry pancakes.
Customer: Waiter, will the pancakes be long?
IHOP Waiter: No sir, they'll be round.
Customer:
Bring me a blintz.
IHOP Waiter: Yes sir, with pleasure!
Customer: NO, with cheese!
Did
you hear about the waiter who was 6'8" tall? He handled
all the tall stack pancake orders at IHOP.
|
Vintage
Trivia: A meal without wine is called breakfast.
Q.
What does the up-and-coming baker call his new bread with
a wine-like aroma?
A. Nose Scones.
Waffle
House Customer: I cannot eat this pancake breakfast!
Waiter: Why not? Your banana pancakes and links look okay
to me.
Customer: Because you didn't bring me a fork! |
Ham
and Eggs walk into a bar before noon. Bartender says, "Hey,
we don't serve breakfast here."
Q.
What does a chicken order on her breakfast pizza?
A. Eggs-tra Cheese!
Q.
What do you call a mischievious Easter egg?
A. A practical yolker!
Q.
What does a French chef say when he's late to work?
A. Sorry omelette. |
Customer: There's a fly drowning in my bowl of breakfast
cereal!
Waiter: Just throw him a Cheerio; those make great life
preservers.
Customer:
A fly is in my bowl of Raisin Bran.
Diner Waiter: Couldn't be, sir. The chef used them all in
the raisin bread.
Q.
How does a WWE wrestler like his eggs?
A. Raw!
Q.
Which kind of breakfast cereal is nothing special?
A. Granola Par.
|
Toasted
Thought of the Day: If we got rid of all the margarine and
oleo, the world would be a butter place.
Hot
and Toasty Pick-Up Line:
Things would be a lot butter if you just come over here.
I'm bready for you!
Q.
How can you tell it's too hot in the henhouse?
A. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Q.
What did the very first hotcakes salesman say about his
profitable new business?
A. Sales are unprecedented! |
Q. What does Shrek always like to eat for breakfast?
A. Eggs Ogre Easy!
Q.
How does a pessimist always order his eggs?
A. Sunny Side Down.
Q.
How are scrambled eggs like a losing Olympian?
A. They've both been beaten.
Q.
Why did the bottler quit working at the syrup factory?
A. 'Cause the job was really sappy |
Q.
Why are toasted bread jokes always so funny?
A. 'Cause they never get mold.
Q.
What did the toaster say to the two slices of bread?
A. I loaf you so much!
Q.
How did Salvador Dali begin his days?
A. With a morning bowl of surreal.
Funny
Breakfast Fact of the Day: The hardness of the butter is
directly proportional to the softness of the toast.
|
Q.
Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up.
Q.
What is the best way to serve eggs on Halloween?
A. Deviled!
Waiter:
These are the freshest eggs we've had all year.
Customer: I'd prefer eggs that haven't been around that
long...
Q.
Which special cloak is worn only while eating a morning
meal?
A. A breakfast wrap |
Q.
How do monsters like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried!
Q.
How did the egg win the race?
A. It really scrambled!
Q.
What does a lost, disoriented, and mixed up hen lay?
A. Scrambled eggs.
Q.
What did the raccoons do after they raided the henhouse?
A. They enjoyed their poached eggs. |
A
guy went to a big brunch buffet with a taxidermist friend.
By noon, he was stuffed!
When
asked about rumors he owned a bakery, Shakespeare replied,
"It's much a dough about muffin!"
Q.
Which baker wrote the book, Bakin' Up Sweet Breakfast
Recipes?
A. Bear E. Muffin.
Q.
What do witch chefs put on their bagels?
A. Scream cheese. |
Q. Who did not write the book, Healthy Breakfast Bites?
A. Chris P. Bacon.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a chicken and a dog?
A. Pooched Eggs!
Q.
What do you get when a pig and a chicken have a high-speed
collision?
A. Ham and eggs.
Q.
Where do Martians get their eggs?
A. From little green hens. |
Q.
Which kind of breakfast eatery always merits 24-hour police
protection?
A. Donut shops.
Q.
What do prisoners in Denver County lockup eat for breakfast?
A. Jail-y Donuts.
Officer:
Do you know why I stopped you?
Blonde: Because I didn't pull out of the donut shop too
fast?
Q.
What do cops call it when they're called out to the local
donut bakery?
A. Bread Alert!
Q.
What do space aliens eat for breakfast?
A. Nothing. They prefer to wait for launch! |
You
know, walking on eggshells around vegans will only make
it worse...
Q.
How are golf balls like eggs?
A. They're white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you
have to buy more.
Q.
What do avid board game players eat for breakfast?
A. Scrabbled eggs.
Customer:
There's a fly in my scrambled eggs!
Waiter: Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.
Q.
What do demon chickens lay?
A. Deviled eggs. |
Q.
What's it called ii you burn your breakfast toast?
A. Loafing it too much!
Q.
What does a bakery employee have to do when cutting bread
for breakfast toast ahead of time?
A. He needs to use pre-slice measurements.
Q.
What did the chicken say to the piece of toast?
A. Just get bready to c-rumble!
Q.
Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?
A. Because he got the crepes. |
|
Breakfast Jokes | Cop
Cuisine | Colorado Dining |
Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood
Puns | Pirate Eats |
| Egg Jokes | Milk
| Butter | Cheese
Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice
Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Bread Jokes | Baker
| 2 | Dessert
Puns | 2 | Pie
| Beverage | Coffee
| 2 | Soda
| Beer | Wine
|
| Fruit Humor | 2
| 3 | Apple
Jokes | Banana Funs | 2
| 3 | Lemon
| Orange Puns | Strawberry
|
| Chef Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | Chef
Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef
Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Gourmet Grins | Dinner
Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Kitchen
Gadget Jokes | Nut Jokes | Old
Chef LOLs |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2
| 3 | Waiter
| Italian Food | 2
| 3 | Pizza
Jokes | Pasta | Take
Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak
Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2
| Pork Jokes | Poultry
Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger
Puns | 2 | 3
| Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup
Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup
|
| Carrot Jokes | Corn
| Peppers | Pickle
Puns | 2 | 3
| Potato | Salad
| Tomato Jokes | Veggies
|
| Snack Jokes | Halloween
Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes
| Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green
Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome
Diet | Vegetarian, Vegan Puns | Fitness
Dieting Jokes | 2 | Grocery
Store |
You've
mourned along this
far, so brunch on
even more fried humor,
toasty jokes, and
crepe-y painful puns that'll egg
you on all day long:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Bacteria Jokes | Colorado
Jokes | Date Jokes | Flower
Jokes | Friday Puns | Haunted
House Jokes | Hen Puns |
| Jokes About Jokes |
Man Jokes | Mars Jokes
| Pirate Jokes | Police
Puns | Psychic Jokes | Religion
Jokes |
| Road Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Underwear Jokes
| Weather Jokes | Yellow
Jokes |
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for stopping by and see you again soon!
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