Q. How Do Chickens Dance? A. Chick to Chick   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. How are pirates and strawberry farmers different? A. A pirate buries his treasure but a farmer treasures his berries!
Q. How do modern cowboys stay in touch? A. They send tex messages!
Q. What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A. Show us your calves!
Q. Why did the chicken's coach cross the basketball court? A. It heard the referee calling fowls!


Clucking Funny Farm Jokes and Farmer Humor
Virtual farmer's market of funny farm animal jokes, clucked up puns, and lots of horsing around.

Funky Chicken Puns, Cow Humor, Farm Jokes
(Because Urban Jokes and Citified Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Crazed Cows and Hipster Chickens!)
Warning: Farm Animals Present, So Watch Where You Walk! The smell is NOT the most painful thing ahead.
| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Come-Onss |
| Fun On the Farm | Farm Crop Puns | Dairy Farm Jokes | Cow Puns | Bull Puns | Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Pig Puns | Chicken Jokes | Rooster Puns | Goose LOLs |
| Farm Criminal Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes | Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes |

Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? A. Poultry in Motion.Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before. Cow Over the Moon Meme: Hey Diddle Diddle.

Q. Why did the hen cross the road?
A. To prove she wasn't chicken.

Q. Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?
A. She had absolutely no sense of humor!

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for a crowd!

Q. What do you call a really scary chicken?
A. Poultry-geist .

Q. What time does a rooster wake up and visit the outhouse?
A. At the crap of dawn.

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. What do you get from a cowmedian?
A. Cream of Wit and lots of bullcrap.

Q. How do bulls drive cars?
A. They just steer them.

Q. What kind of car does a Texas cattle baron's champion bull drive?
A. A Cattle-ac.

Q. Which sport entails rounding up and stealing cattle as a form of dramatic entertainment?
A. Professional rustling.

Q. How diddle the cow get to the moo-on?
A. She jumped into udder space.

Q. How can cows actually get to the moon?
A. By using heli-cow-pters or bull-oons.

Q. What do cows like to use when they send texts?
A. E-moo-jis.

Q. What do you get if you cross a rooster and a cow?
A. Cock-a-doodle-moo!

Cow Pick-Up Line: Hay Bessie, my love for you is as crazy as mad cow disease.

Fun FarmSaying: A Horse is a Very Stable Animal.When making non-dairy butter, there is little margarine for error. Q. Why couldn't the chicken find her egg? A. Because she mislaid it.

Q. Why do horses fart when they buck?
A. Because they can't acheive full horsepower without gas!

Q. Why did the rancher name his horse Flattery?
A. Because it got him nowhere.

Q. What do horses say about Painful Puns that feature equines?
A. Neigh!

Q. What kind of horse do you ride down Elm Street?
A. A Nightmare!

Q. Why are successful rodeo cowboys so rich?
A. Because every bronco gives them a buck or two.

Q. What do you get when a farmer feeds cows money?
A. Farm rich milk.

Q. What happened when a rancher tried to teach baby cows to drink coffee?
A. Only one calf in eight did!

Q. What do you get if you sit under a cow?
A. A pat on the head!

Q. What job best suits a cow?
A. Baker, because they make cow pies all the time.

Q. How do you best describe a grumpy cow?
A. MOOdy!

Bull Pick-Up Line: Cow you doin'?

Q. How do Painful Punsters prefer their eggs dished up?
A. Funny side up!

Q. What do a plastic surgeon and a chicken farmer have in common?
A. Both can supply big breasts.

Q. What did the chicken say when she broke out in acne?
A. Oh cluck! I have the People Pox!

Q. How do big scary monsters like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried!

Q. Why did the old farm hen only only lay eggs during the winter?
A. 'Cause she was no spring chicken.

Q. What Do You Call a Man Who Drinks and Falls Off His Horse? A. Wine-Stoned CowboyWhy Did the Farmer Quit? His celery wasn't high enough!Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. How do you save a horse that's been possessed by an evil demon spirit?
A. Perform and ex-horse-ism.

Q. Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A. He's got no beef.

Q. Why are horses such bad dancers?
A. Because they have two left feet!

Q. How did the dude ranch owner figure out which horse was most popular with the dudes?
A. He conducted a Gallop Poll.

Horsey Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, aren't you tired? 'Cause you've been galloping through my mind all evening.

Q. What do you get if you cross a robot and a tractor?
A. A Trans-farmer!

Q. How can you tell an organic farmer is a true expert?
A. He is out standing in his manure!

Q. How does a farmer produce a party on Saturday night?
A. By turning up the beet!

Q. What's the best part of urban gardening?
A. Getting down and dirty with the hoes.

Pick Up a Farmer Line: Hey big guy, if you were a tractor and I was a plow, I'd definitely hook up with you.

Q. What do you get when a duck squats?
A. Butt-quack.

Q. How can you tell your duck is a comedian?
A. She tells funny yolks that quack you up.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a duck?
A. A bird that lays down!

Q. Considering that chicken rise at the crack of dawn, when do ducks wake up?
A. At the quack of dawn!

Q. What is it called when you place a cases of eider duck feather pillows into a shipping container?
A. Down-loading.

My Pig Had a Rash, So the Vet Gave Her Some Oinkment.Q. Why is a Barn So Noisy? A. The Cows All Have Horns.Gnome McDonald Pranked the Farm, sing it again!

Today's Painful Farm Thought of the Day: If a baby pig is called a piglet, is a young bull called a bullet?

Q. Why are pig puns so funny and interesting?
A. 'Cause there's always a twist in the tale!

Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!

Q. What do you get if you cross a horse and a pig?
A. A Neighboar.

Q. How do you host the best pig roast ever?
A. You go whole hog!

Q. Why did the blonde farmer get a brown cow?
A. She wanted chocolate milk.

Q. Why did the blonde give her cow a hammer?
A. Because it was time to hit the hay!

Q. Why did the farmer put brandy in the cows' feed?
A. He wanted to raise stewed beef.

Q. Why do cows like Painful cow Puns?
A. They like being a-moosed.

Q. What is a metaphor?
A. For grazin' yer cattle.

Q. How did the gnome farmer fix his torn jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch.

Q. How was the family farm built?
A. From the ground up.

When the farmer's wife said she was leaving him because of his unhealthy obsession with plants, he asked: "Where is this stemming from, my sweet blossom?"

Q. Why did the the blonde farmer wear dark glasses?
A. Because she was growing sunflowers!

Farming Point to Ponder: Can Bok bring you Choy? If so, then Lettuce all smile!

| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Farm Pick-Up Lines |
| Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Crop Puns | Fun On the Farm | Dairy Farm Jokes |
Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes | ...And Cross Again? |
| Rooster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Egg Jokes | Turkey Jokes | 2 | Goose Jokes | Fowl LOLs | Duck Puns | 2
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2 | 3 | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes |
| Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes | Garden Animal LOLs | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Xmas Animal Puns |

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You've grown along this far, so here's even more clucking funny humor,
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More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Butter Jokes | Chef Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Crappy Puns | Cross the Road Jokes | Dance Jokes | Egg Yolks |
| Hipster Jokes | I Quit! Jokes | Moon Jokes | Music Jokes | Psychic Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor |
| Sports Jokes | Superman Puns | Travel Jokes | Veggie Humor | Weather Jokes | Wine Jokes | Winter Jokes |

Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor Garden Puns, Green Groaners Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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