Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? A. Poultry in Motion.   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. How many pastry chefs does it take to make pie? A. 3.14, but it only takes one cow!
Q. What do you get if you cross a lamb and a rocket? A. Space Sheep!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Obviously, it was the logical thing to do! – Mr Spock
Q. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? A. She heard the ref was blowing fowls!
Flying Cow Says: Happy Moon Day!


Funny Farm Animals, Cow Puns, Farm Laughs
Step into chicken puns, rural humor, moo-valous cow puns and funny farm jokes – no bull!

Funky Chicken Jokes, Farm Puns, Cow Humor
(Because Urbane Jokes and Inner City Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Hipster Chickens and Rowdy Roosters!)
Warning: Funny Farm Animal Jokes Ahead. Watch Where You Walk! The BS isn't the most painful stink here.
| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Come-Onss |
| Fun On the Farm | Farm Crop Puns | Dairy Farm Jokes | Cow Puns | Bull Puns | Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Pig Puns | Chicken Jokes | Rooster Puns | Goose LOLs |
| Farm Criminal Jokes | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes | Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes |

Q. What do you call a cow who gives no milk? A. An Udder FailureScrambling for an egg joke, but just can't seem to whip one up. Guess I'm fried?Owner of a threatening bull was arrested. He was brought up on charges.

Q. What is a high tech Aussie cow called?
A. An E-moo.

Q. Why doesn't Sweden export cattle?
A. Because they want to keep their Stockholm!

Q. Which kind of cows are found in Alaska?
A. Eski-moos.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a dog?
A. Pooched Eggs!

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement truck?
A. A Brick Layer.

Q. Why do hens lay eggs?
A. Because if they dropped them, they'd break...

Q. What do you call a hen in a shell outfit?
A. An egg.

Q. What was that bull doing in the pasture with his eyes shut?
A. Bull Dozing.

Q. What is the definition of derange?
A. Where de cowboys ride wild.

Q. Why are cows such gifted dancers?
A. They're born hoofers.

Q. Why does the bull have to wear a bell around his neck?
A. Because his horns don't work.

Q. What grows up while growing down? A. A GooseQ. What do you call a sleeping bull? A. Bull DozerQ. What do you dall a veterinarian with laryngitis? A. Hoarse Doctor

Q. What happened to the chicken whose feathers all pointed the wrong way?
A. She was tickled to death!

Q. Why do you can an insane chicken?
A. A cuckoo cluck.

Q. Which kind of movies do hens like best?
A. Chick Flicks!

Q. How did the chicken wake up on time?
A. She had an alarm cluck.

Q. Where does a steer carry his stock market report?
A. In his beef case.

Q. Which day of the week do working cows dread most?
A. Moonday.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a porcupine?
A. Steak with built-in toothpicks.

Q. What do you call a grumpy cow?
A. Moo-dy.

Q. What did the horse say when it fell?
A. I've fallen and I can't giddyup!

Q. Who were the most legendary horse thieves?
A. Bonnie and Clydesdale.

Q. How is an egg like a young horse?
A. You can't use either until they're broken.

Q. What happened after a horse swallowed four quarters?
A. It bucked.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "$4." Duck replies: "Put it on my bill."Q. What is it called when a female sheep flips around? A. A Ewe TurnQ. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled Milk

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem? He was a quack-head.

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a fireworks?
A. A Fire-Quacker.

Q. What do ducks and geese like about the great outdoors?
A. Debris!

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the duck?
A. Because it was in da skies.

Ducky Pick-Up Line: They say the early bird catches the worm, but girl you can show up at any time and still get a bite!

Q. Why did the cop ticket the sheep?
A. Because she was a really baaad driver.

Q. What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A. A Lamborghini.

Q. Which vehicle does a contractor sheep drive?
A. Dodge Ram.

Q. What do you get if you cross a gnu and a sheep?
A. A new ewe!

Q. What happened after a sheep stepped on broken glass?
A. The vet stopped by to stop the bleating.

Q. Where do cows buy their stuff?
A. From a cattle-log.

Q. Where do cows go for lunch?
A. Calf-eteria.

Q. What is the golden rule for cows?
A. Do unto udders as you would have udder do to you.

Q. Where do modern hipster cows post their videos online?
A. MooTube.

Bull Pick-Up Poetry: Roses are red, violets are blue, with you in my head, this cow goes moooo.

Q. What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A. A Lawn Moo-er.A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "So, why the long face?"Cow Joke: Old milk maids never die, they just lose their whey.

Q. What subjects do cows study in school?
A. Moosic, Psycowolgy, Cowculus.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a goat?
A. A Coat.

Q. What product does a cow clean her kitchen with?
A. Moo-p and Glow.

Q. How does a cow become virtually invisible?
A. She uses camooflage.

Q. What did the waiter say to the horse?
A. I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

Q. What do they serve at the dude ranch before the main course?
A. Horse d'oeuvres.

Q. What award is given to the horse who drank the most water?
A. A nice little trough-y.

Q. Why did the horse rock out to really loud music?
A. Because he liked being a herd animal.

Q. Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
A. Because the cow has the udder.

Q. What did the testy cow say to the farmer?
A. You better milk me soon, or I'm gonna cream you!

Q. What do romantic cattle do after they get married?
A. They go on a honeyMOOn.

Q. Where do suicidal cows dare to go for lunch?
A. McDonald's.

| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Farm Pick-Up Lines |
| Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Crop Puns | Fun On the Farm | Dairy Farm Jokes |
Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes | ...And Cross Again? |
| Rooster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Egg Jokes | Turkey Jokes | 2 | Goose Jokes | Fowl LOLs | Duck Puns | 2
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2 | 3 | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes |
| Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes | Garden Animal LOLs | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Xmas Animal Puns |

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