Q. What did the sick chick ask the vet? A. Do I have the people pox?   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. Why do pirates love Thanksgiving? A. Because they get to carrrve the turkey!


Silly Goose Jokes, Ducky Puns, Honking Humor
Get down with ducky jokes, loose goose puns, quack humor and water fowl jokes.

Goose Humor, Duck Puns, Farm Bird Jokes
(Because Urban Jokes and City Pond Puns Are Too Mainstream for Silly Geese and Hipster Ducks)
Warning: Geese Present. Watch Where You Walk! The smell isn't the most fowl or painful thing here.
| Farmer | Goose and Duck | Horse 1 | 2 | 3 | Pig 1 | 2 | 3 | Sheep |

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire? A. Count Quackula!Q. What do you call rude Canada geese? A. In Colorado, you know better than to call a goose!Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. What language does a goose speak?
A. Portu-geese!

Q. What do you get if you cross a goose and a lawn mower?
A. Shredded Tweet.

Q. What does a farmer call an escaped bird?
A Loose Goose!

Q. What is a goose's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast!

Q. What do you get when a duck squats?
A. Butt-quack.

Q. What happens when ducks fly upside down?
A. They quack up!

Duck goes to a drug store to buy some Chapstick. Clerk asks: "Is that cash or credit?" Duck replies: "Just put it on my bill."Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!Q. What do you call a rude Canada goose in Colorado? A. One? Are you freaking serious?

Q. Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor

Q. What do you get if you kiss a duck?
A. A peck on the cheek.

Q. What do you call a gaggle of geese playing hide 'n seek?
Fowl play

Q. Why did the goose bring toilet paper to the celebration?
A. He was a real party pooper.

Q. What did the goose say when it was cold?
A. Brrrd!

Q. Where do bird royalty live?
A. At Duckingham Palace

Q. What do you call rude Canada geese in a Colorado park? A. @#$%^&*! And, Coloradans are pretty polite.A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "$4." Duck replies: "Put it on my bill."Q. What grows up while growing down? A. A Goose

Q. What do you call a very rude goose?
A. A Mockingbird!

Q. How do you get a silly goose to stop calling you?
A. Take away its phone.

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem? He was a quack-head.

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a fireworks?
A. A Fire-Quacker

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a duck?
A. A bird that lays down!

Q. What do ducks and geese like about the great outdoors?
A. Debris!

Q. Do Birds Always Know Exactly Where They're Going? A. No, sometimes they just wing it.You might be from Colorado if you think "humid" is anything over 25%!Q. What is the difference between a miser and a canary? A. One's a little cheap & the other's a little cheeper.

Q. What kind of bird doesn't need a comb?
A. A bald eagle

Q. What do duck like to watch on TV?
A. Duckumentaries.

Q. What do you call a crate of ducks?
A. A box of quakers.

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the goose?
A. Because it was in da skies.

Q. Why do ducks and geese fly south?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
A. Fowl Weather!

Q. Where do geese and ducks invest their money?
A. The stork market

Q. Chickens rise when the rooster crows, so when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn.

Q. What do ducks eat with soup?
A. Quackers.

A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!Tweet Birdies: Gloating on social media after a good round of golfQ. Which bird species holds things together best? A. Velcrows.

Q. Which duck movie won an oscar?
A. Lord of the Wings

Q. How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Toucan do it.

Q. Why was the goose kicked out of the golf club bar?
A. He had a very large bill.

Q. How do geese stay fit?
A. With worm-ups

Q. What do you call a duck that steals?
A. A Robber Ducky

Q. Why did the ducks miss the goose wedding?
A. They were under the feather.

| Farmer | Goose and Duck | Horse 1 | 2 | 3 | Pig 1 | 2 | 3 | Sheep |
| Chicken 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beef 1 | 2 |
Fun on the Farm Humor: | Funny Farm | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

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