Q. What did the sick chick ask the vet? A. Do I have the people pox?   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. Why do pirates love Thanksgiving? A. Because they get to carrrve the turkey!


 


Silly Goose Jokes, Ducky Puns, Honking Humor
Get down with ducky jokes, loose goose puns, gander grins, quack humor and water fowl jokes.

Goose Humor, Duck Jokes, Farm Bird Puns
(Because Urban Park Jokes and City Pond Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Silly Geese and Hipster Ducks!)
Warning: Canada Goose Poop Present. Watch Where You Walk! The smell isn't the most fowl or painful thing here.
| Goose Jokes and Duck Puns | Pig Puns | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns for Ewe | Farmer Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Horse Humor | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animals |

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire? A. Count Quackula!Q. What do you call rude Canada geese? A. In Colorado, you know better than to call a goose!Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. How do you make a duck sing soul music?
A. Toss him in the clothes dryer until his Bill Withers.

Q. What do you call a cat who ate the duck?
A. A duck-filled fatty-puss.

Q. What did the duck do after he read all these Painful Puns?
A. He quacked up!

Q. What says, "Quick, Quick?"
A. A duck with the hiccups.

Q. What language does a goose speak?
A. Portu-geese!

Q. What does a farmer call an escaped bird?
A. A Loose Goose!

Q. What is a goose's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast!

Q. What sensation really gives a Canada goose the creeps?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. What do you get when a duck squats?
A. Butt-quack.

Q. Which kind of duck can fix anything?
A. Duck Tape!

Q. Why was the duck put in the basketball game?
A. To make a fowl shot.

Q. What happens when ducks fly upside down?
A. They quack up!

Duck goes to a drug store to buy some Chapstick. Clerk asks: "Is that cash or credit?" Duck replies: "Just put it on my bill."Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!Q. What do you call a rude Canada goose in Colorado? A. One? Are you freaking serious?

Q. Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor.

Q. What do you get if you kiss a duck?
A. A peck on the cheek.

Q. Where do bird royalty live?
A. At Duckingham Palace.

Q. What do you call a clever duck?
A. A wise quacker.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Bird, how about you be my turkey? 'Cause I can give you the stuffing you've been needing.

Q. What do you call a gaggle of geese playing hide 'n seek?
A. Fowl play.

Q. What do you call acne on a gosling?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. Why did the goose bring toilet paper to the celebration?
A. He was a real party pooper.

Q. What is it called when you place a shipment of goose feather pillows into a shipping container?
A. Down-loading.

Q. What did the goose say when it was cold outside in City Park?
A. Brrrd!

Q. What does a goose say when a duck is in the vee flight path?
A. What the duck?

Q. What do you get if you cross a goose and a lawn mower?
A. Shredded Tweet.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. What do you call rude Canada geese in a Colorado park? A. @#$%^&*! And, Coloradans are pretty polite.A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "$4." Duck replies: "Put it on my bill."Q. What grows up while growing down? A. A Goose

Q. What do you call a very rude goose?
A. A Mockingbird!

Q. How do you get a silly goose to stop calling you?
A. Take away its phone.

Q. What do ducks and geese like about the great outdoors?
A. Debris!

Q. When will the migrating geese reach their winter destination?
A. That's still up in the air.

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem? He was a quack-head.

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a fireworks?
A. A Fire-Quacker.

Q. What did the duck detective say?
A. I have quacked the case!

Water Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna Duck?

Q. What do you call a bossy duck in a clinic?
A. A nurse quack-titioner.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a duck?
A. A bird that lays down!

Q. What does a well-dressed duck wear to a formal affair?
A. His ducks-edo.

Q. Where do duck farts come from?
A. A butt quack.

A man returned to the vet clinic to see if his pet's surgery was successful. Vet says, "Here's the bill. Unfortunately, we couldn't reattach it to your duck."

Q. Do Birds Always Know Exactly Where They're Going? A. No, sometimes they just wing it.You might be from Colorado if you think "humid" is anything over 25%!Q. What is the difference between a miser and a canary? A. One's a little cheap & the other's a little cheeper.

Q. What kind of bird doesn't need a comb?
A. A bald eagle.

Q. Where do geese and ducks invest their money?
A. The stork market.

Q. What do you call a crate of ducks?
A. A box of quakers.

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the goose?
A. Because it was in da skies.

Q. Why do ducks and geese fly south?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
A. Fowl Weather!

Q. What do duck like to watch on TV?
A. Duckumentaries.

Q. Chickens rise when the rooster crows, so when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn.

Q. What do ducks eat with soup?
A. Quackers.

A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!Tweet Birdies: Gloating on social media after a good round of golfQ. Which bird species holds things together best? A. Velcrows.

Q. Which duck movie won an oscar?
A. Lord of the Wings.

Q. What did the physics professor name his pet duck?
A. Quark.

Q. What is a duck's drug of choice?
A. Quack.

Q. How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Toucan do it.

Q. Why was the goose kicked out of the golf club bar?
A. He had a very large bill.

Q. How do geese stay fit?
A. With worm-ups.

Q. What do you call a loon that's a drug addict?
A. A quack head.

Q. What do ducks eat with cheese?
A. Quackers.

Q. What do you call a duck that steals?
A. A Robber Ducky.

Q. Why was a duck arguing with the plastic surgeon?
A. Because he wanted to have his bill reduced.

Q. Why did the ducks miss the goose wedding?
A. They were under the feather.

Q. What has fangs and webbed feet?
A. Count Duckula.

| Goose Jokes and Duck Puns | Pig Puns | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns for Ewe | Farmer Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Funky Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Beefy Humor | 2 |
| Horse Humor | 2 | 3 | Donkey Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Xmas Animals |


PainfulPuns Home
You've flown this far, so get down with even more honking funny humor,
ducky jokes, and a gaggle of painful puns that'll quack you up:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Daily Puns | Fit Jokes | Hair Humor |
| Hipster Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Ketchup Jokes | Music Humor | Money Puns | Pick-Up Lines | Police Puns |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Travel Puns | Weather Jokes | Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor Garden Puns, Green Groaners Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.