Q. What did the sick chick ask the vet? A. Do I have the people pox?   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Farm Humor, Clucking Funny Jokes!

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Q. What crime was the turkey perp suspected of? A. Fowl play!
Q. What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks? A. Fowl weather!

Q. Why do so many geese visit Denver? A. To get a gander at the Broncos!
q. What happens when a duck flies upside down? a. It quacks up!

Q. Why do pirates love Thanksgiving? A. Because they get to carrrve the turkey!

Silly Goose Jokes, Ducky Puns, Honking Humor
Get down with ducky jokes, loose goose puns, gander grins, quack humor and water fowl jokes.

Goose Humor, Duck Jokes, Fowl Farm Bird Puns
(Because Urban Park Jokes and City Pond Puns Are TOO Mainstream for Silly Geese and Hipster Ducks!)
Warning: Canada Goose Poop Present. Watch Where You Walk! The smell isn't the most fowl or painful thing here.
| Fowl Jokes | Goose Jokes | Duck Puns | Turkey LOLs | 2 | Rooster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Egg Jokes |
| Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes | ...And Cross Again? |
| Crow Jokes | Owl Puns | Wild Bird Jokes | Parrot Laughs | Pet Bird Humor | Dinosaur Jokes |

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a vampire? A. Count Quackula!Q. What do you call rude Canada geese? A. In Colorado, you know better than to call a goose!Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. How do you make a duck sing soul music?
A. Toss him in the clothes dryer until his Bill Withers.

Q. What do you call a cat who ate the duck?
A. A duck-filled fatty-puss.

Q. What did the duck do after he read all these Painful Puns?
A. He quacked up!

Q. What says, "Quick, Quick?"
A. A duck with the hiccups.

Q. Why didn't the goose in Denver think he'd be a suspect in the Wash Park crime?
A. Because he thought his shit don't stink.

Q. What language does a goose speak?
A. Portu-geese!

Q. What does a farmer call an escaped bird?
A. A Loose Goose!

Q. What is a goose's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast!

Q. What sensation really gives a Canada goose the creeps?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. What do Canadians call slanted fake news about geese?
A. Propa gander.

Q. What do you get when a duck squats?
A. Butt-quack.

Q. Which kind of duck can fix anything?
A. Duck Tape!

Q. Why was the duck put in the basketball game?
A. To make a fowl shot.

Q. What happens when ducks fly upside down?
A. They quack up!

Q. Which bathtub toy always steals your soap?
A. A robber ducky.

Duck goes to a drug store to buy some Chapstick. Clerk asks: "Is that cash or credit?" Duck replies: "Just put it on my bill."Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!Q. What do you call a rude Canada goose in Colorado? A. One? Are you freaking serious?

Q. Where did the duck go when he was sick?
A. To the duck-tor.

Q. What do you get if you kiss a duck?
A. A peck on the cheek.

Q. Where do bird royalty live?
A. At Duckingham Palace.

Q. What do you call a clever duck?
A. A wise quacker.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Bird, how about you be my turkey? 'Cause I can give you the stuffing you've been needing.

Q. What do you call a gaggle of geese playing hide 'n seek?
A. Fowl play.

Q. What do you call acne on a gosling?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. Why did the goose bring toilet paper to the celebration?
A. He was a real party pooper.

Q. What is it called when you place a shipment of goose feather pillows into a shipping container?
A. Down-loading.

Q. What did the goose say when it was cold outside in City Park?
A. Brrrd!

Q. What does a goose say when a duck is in the vee flight path?
A. What the duck?

Q. What do you get if you cross a goose and a lawn mower?
A. Shredded Tweet.

Q. Which movie was about a typical family haunted by a turkey?
A. Poultrygeist.

Q. What do you call rude Canada geese in a Colorado park? A. @#$%^&*! And, Coloradans are pretty polite.A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "$4." Duck replies: "Put it on my bill."Q. What grows up while growing down? A. A Goose

Q. What do you call a very rude goose?
A. A Mockingbird!

Q. How do you get a silly goose to stop calling you?
A. Take away its phone.

Q. What do ducks and geese like about the great outdoors?
A. Debris!

Q. When will the migrating geese reach their winter destination?
A. That's still up in the air.

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem? He was a quack-head.

Q. What do you get if you cross a duck and a fireworks?
A. A Fire-Quacker.

Q. What did the duck detective say?
A. I have quacked the case!

Water Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna Duck?

Q. What do you call a bossy duck in a clinic?
A. A nurse quack-titioner.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a duck?
A. A bird that lays down!

Q. What does a well-dressed duck wear to a formal affair?
A. His ducks-edo.

Q. Where do duck farts come from?
A. A butt quack.

A man returned to the vet clinic to see if his pet's surgery was successful. Vet says, "Here's the bill. Unfortunately, we couldn't reattach it to your duck."

Q. Do Birds Always Know Exactly Where They're Going? A. No, sometimes they just wing it.You might be from Colorado if you think "humid" is anything over 25%!Q. What is the difference between a miser and a canary? A. One's a little cheap & the other's a little cheeper.

Q. What happened when the turkey drummer forgot his drum sticks?
A. He had to wing it.

Q. Why did the turkey farmer decide to retire?
A. The job just gobbled up to much of his time.

Q. What do hunters call a wild turkey on the run?
A. Fast food.

Q. What kind of bird doesn't need a comb?
A. A bald eagle.

Q. Why do geese use Head and Shoulders shampoo?
A. 'Cause what's good for the goose is good for the dander.

Q. Why couldn't anybody see the goose?
A. Because it was in da skies.

Q. Why do ducks and geese fly south in the fall?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
A. Fowl Weather!

Q. What do duck like to watch on TV?
A. Duckumentaries.

Q. Chickens rise when the rooster crows, so when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn.

Q. What do ducks eat with soup?
A. Quackers.

Q. Where do geese and ducks invest their money?
A. The stork market.

Q. What do you call a crate of ducks?
A. A box of quakers.

A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!Tweet Birdies: Gloating on social media after a good round of golfQ. Which bird species holds things together best? A. Velcrows.

Q. Which duck movie won an oscar?
A. Lord of the Wings.

Q. What did the physics professor name his pet duck?
A. Quark.

Q. What is a duck's drug of choice?
A. Quack.

Q. How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Toucan do it.

Q. Which quacking animated character's diet consists of sticky, chewy candy?
A. Taffy Duck.

Q. Why was the goose kicked out of the golf club bar?
A. He had a very large bill.

Q. How do geese stay fit?
A. With worm-ups.

Q. What do you call a loon that's a drug addict?
A. A quack head.

Q. What do two small horny ducks say to each other?
A. Let's make a teal.

Q. What do you call a duck that steals?
A. A Robber Ducky.

Q. Why was a duck arguing with the plastic surgeon?
A. Because he wanted to have his bill reduced.

Q. What do ducks eat with cheese?
A. Quackers.

Q. Why did the ducks miss the goose wedding?
A. They were under the feather.

Q. What has fangs and webbed feet?
A. Count Duckula.

| Fowl Jokes | Goose Jokes | Duck Puns | 2 | Turkey LOLs | 2 | Rooster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Egg Jokes |
| Chicken Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes | ...And Cross Again? |
| Cow Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cow On Moon | Bull Puns | Beefy Humor | Ranch Puns, Cowboy Jokes |
| Horse Jokes, Pony Puns | 2 | 3 | Donkey Jokes, Ass Puns | Broncos Jokes | Animal Poop Puns |
| Farm Crime LOLs and Cow Cop Jokes | Pig Jokes | 2 | 3 | Baad Sheep Puns | Farm Music Jokes |
| Farmer Jokes | Farmer's Market Jokes | Farm Crop Puns | Fun On the Farm | Dairy Farm Jokes |
| Farm Jokes and Farm Animal Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Farm Pick-Up Lines |
| Farm Animal Astronaut Jokes | Garden Animal LOLs | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Wild Animal Jokes |
| Animal Music Jokes | Pet Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Xmas Animal Puns |

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