Toilet Tech Humor: Backups are usually a good thing, unless it's a sewer. - Crappy Puns, Bathroom Humor, Sh*itty Jokes!

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Chimp Asks: Why did the blonde put candles on the toilet seat? A. She was decorating for a surprise birthday potty!
Q. What is a toilet's favorite sport? A. Bowling!
Man Who Stands On a Toilet is High ON Pot!
Q. How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A. Who Knows? It's never been done!
Q. What do you call a fairy using the toilet? A. Stinker Bell!
Q. Which companty perk do locksmiths care the least about? A. The key to the executife bathroom!
Q. Where do football players go before a big game? A. To the toilet bowl!


Bathroom Humor, Toilet Jokes, Shitty Puns
Flush out some real stinkers, crappy potty puns, bathroom humor and funny toilet jokes.

Toilet Humor, Crappy Puns, Bathroom Jokes
('Cause Clean White Toilets Are NOT TOO Mainstream and Turdy Potty Puns May Make You Flush with Laughter!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Bathroom humor stinks and crappy toilet jokes reek. No butts about it!
| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns and Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Humor | Toilet Paper Jokes | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, #1 Humor | Potty Training Jokes |
| Turd Jokes, Crap Puns | Constipated Jokes | Diarrhea Jokes | Outhouse Jokes, Porta Potty Puns |
| Men's Room Jokes | Ladies Room LOLs | Bath Time LOLs | Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo LOLs | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |

Crappy Pun: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!Proctologists reASSure patients their problem can be rectified. (Ouch!)Sh*tty Pun: I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me.

Q. Why do toilet seats detest unisex bathrooms?
A. Because of all the ups and downs.

Q. Why did the Energize Bunny spend so much time in the bathroom?
A. Because he just kept going and going...

Q. If you're American in the living room what are you in the bathroom?
A. European.

Q. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke?
A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2!

Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A. Because the P is silent.

Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!

Q. What did the judge say to the flooded bathroom stall at the courthouse?
A. Toilet, you are out of order!

Q. Why did the lawyer ask the witness if he had to go to the bathroom?
A. Because his testimony was full of crap.

Q. What kind of bathroom humor do toilets enjoy most often?
A. Sh*tty jokes.

Toilet Meme: A good relief map shows where the restrooms are.All the toilets in NYC police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on!Crappy Gnome Humor: My love for you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in!

A guy bought a toilet brush because he saw one in every other bathroom. But, after giving it a whirl, he decided to go back to using toilet paper.

Did you hear about the guy who always takes blurry pictures in the bathroom mirror after taking a hot shower? He has a high selfie steam problem.

Q. What should you do if you struggle with your identity?
A. Go into the bathroom and look into the mirror, because that's the best place for self reflection.

Q. What do they call the public restroom at a filling station?
A. The gas can.

A peephole was discovered in the women's restroom at the donut shop today. The police are looking into it...

Q. What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed on the Interstate?
A. Police say there were definite skid marks leading up to the scene of the accident.

Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet?
A. To do his duty.

Q. How is toilet paper like life?
A. You're either on a roll or taking a bunch of shit from some asshole!

Q. What happens if your house is robbed and the dirty crookstook a third of your shirts?
A. You're left with shit.

Q. What do you call a book in the bathroom that you write your personal thoughts in?
A. A diarrhea.

Q. What happened when a guy asked an attractive woman to meet him in the restroom?
A. She totally blew him off.

Q. Why are men's rooms always on the left and ladies' rooms always on the right?
A. Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they're really full of shit.

Q. Where will you find the cleanest restrooms on a road trip?
A. At the guest station.

A man who digs for his watch in a toilet is bound to have sh*tty timing!A Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.Potty Humor: Urologists Know How to Go with the Flow!

Q. What is the busiest time in public restrooms?
A. Poo Thirty!

Q. What do you call it when a drunk passes out on the toilet?
A. Pooper Stuper.

Q. What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A. You look flushed!

Did you hear about the constipated composer? He had problems with his last movement.

Q. What happens if the power goes off while you're in the bathroom?
A. You can't see sh*t.

Q. What is the end product if you accidentally poop in your overalls?
A. Dung-arees.

Q. What did diarrhea say to poop?
A. Wow, you really are in shape!

Q. How does a swimmer piece of shit greet the rest of the guys in the pool?
A. What's crappening, turds!

Q. Why did the guy always smash up bathrooms decorated with ceramics?
A. Because he had a wreck tile dysfunction!

Q. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?
A. Because he was dribbling.

Q. What do you call a country where everyone is pissed?
A. Urination.

Q. Why are toilet paper jokes so funny?
A. Because they really crack you up!

Stinky Pun: Hey, did you fart? 'Cause you just BLEW me away! Crappy Pun: Old Sewage Workers Never Die, They Just Waste Away. A chimp threw rhesus feces at zoo visitors because he wanted E.T. to GO Home!

Q. What do you call farts caused by eating refried beans along with onions?
A. Tear Gas!

Q. What should you say after farting loudly in a public restroom?
A. Systems check cleared, ready for drop!

Q. What happens after you spray orange-scented air freshener in your bathroom?
A. Then it smells like shitrus.

Do clown farts smell funny?

The new boss has designated bathroom break times for all the employess. Now it's my turn. I don't need this sh*t!

Q. What do you call it when you get in your car, and then realize you need to use the bathroom?
A. A turd of events.

Q. Why should you never mess with a janitor who is cleaning a clogged bathroom?
A. Because when they're plunging a toilet, sh*t goes down.

Q. Why shouldn't you let a Dutch cobbler use your bathroom?
A. So he doesn't clog your toilet.

Q. What do you call it when you're diagnosed with paranoia and constipation?
A. Scared Shitless!

Q. What did the constipated guy say to the stubborn stool?
A. You may think you're the shit, but to me you're just a turd waiting to be flushed.

Bathroom Humor: I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean.Q. Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese...Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

21st Century Bathroom Point to Ponder: What kind of graphic symbol is PC and acceptable to display to label a public uni-sex restroom?

Q. What did the toilet say when a naked tailor walked into the bathroom?
A. Seat yourself.

Bathroom Point to Ponder: Why does your shower always get turned on whenever you undress in the bathroom?

Q. What kind of temperment do you need to work in a toilet paper factory?
A. You need to have a Charmin disposition.

Q. Why are the toilets in amusement park haunted house bathrooms six inches higher than normal?
A. Because they want to keep visitors on their toes.

Q. Did you hear about the constipated Wheel of Fortune contestant?
A. He wanted to buy a bowel.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he dumped his wife?
A. Please pass the toilet paper.

Q. Which new bathroom wipe was popular with consumers for only a few months?
A. Faddy Tissue.

Q. What did the ophthalmologist say when the patient asked him to pause the eye test because he had to go to the restroom?
A. Number 1, or number 2?

Tourist in Scotland Point to Ponder: How do you know which restroom to use if the graphics on both doors are wearing skirts and/or kilts?

To the big asshole who stole my broken bathroom scale: There is no way you'll get a weigh with it!

Q. What did Doctor McCoy call the diarrhea outbreak on the Starship Enterprise?
A. Star Trek Reruns!

Q. What is the technical term for an airplane restroom that's in use?
A. A hypotenuse.

Q. What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?
A. Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

Q. Why should you always tip the bathroom attendant?
A. Because he's one guy who has certainly seen some sh*t.

| Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| Toilet Jokes | 2 | Toilet Paper Jokes and TP Puns | Urine Jokes, Pee Puns, and #1 Humor |
| Turd Jokes and Crap Puns | 2 | Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns | Diarrhea Jokes |
| Shower Jokes, Bath Puns | Potty Trained Puns | Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns |
| Men's Room Jokes | Ladies Room Humor | Butt Jokes | Underwear Laughs | Yellow Jokes |
| Fart Jokes and Funny Flatulence | Gas Station Jokes | Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns |
| Plumber Jokes and Sewer Humor | Superhero Loo | 2 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Janitor Jokes |

| Animal Poop Puns | Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns |

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You've made it this far, so here's more clean washroom humor, turdy jokes,
stinking funny laughs and groaner painful puns to contemplate on the toilet:

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