How Does a Man on the Moon Get His Hair Cut? Eclipse It. - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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If an athlete gets athlet's foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistle Toe!
What is a spaceman's favorite treat? A Mars Bar!
Q. Who was the first deer in space? A. Buck Rogers!
Did you hear about the new telescope company? Business is looking up!
NASA just put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit. Missioin name: The Herd Shot 'Round the World
Green ET Says: Let's zoom in on where that meteor struck. I'd like to observe it in crater detail!
Q. How do aliens eat ice cream? A. In Floats!


Astronaut Puns, Out To Launch LOLs, Space Jokes
Space cadet jokes, astronomy humor, and spaced out astronaut puns that launch laughter.

Astronomy Jokes, Space Humor, Galactic Puns
(Because Earthly Astronaut Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in the Big Bang Scheme of Space Humor!)
Warning: Land at Your Own Risk! Space explorer humor, cosmic cosmonaut jokes, and astronaut puns ahead.
| Outer Space Jokes, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Sun Jokes, Star Puns | Cows in Space |
| Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes | Moon Jokes | Cosmic Jokes and Galactic Puns |
| Astronaut Jokes | Ancient Astronaut Theory Jokes | Extraterrestrial Alien Jokes | UFO LOLs |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Green Man Alien Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 |

Why aren't astronauts hungry after basting into space? Because the had a big launch!What did an astronaut see in his skillet? Unidentified frying objects!How do astronomers organize a party? They Planet

Q. What do you call a space explorer using a porta-potty?
A. An Astrono-Manure.

Q. Why do astronauts always have the best opinions?
A. Because they have the best perspective.

Q. Why can't astronomers find humor in the movement of stars and planets?
A. 'Cause the real jokes are in the comets!

Q. Why did the guy's girlfriend cheat on him with an astronaut?
A. 'Cause the sex was out of this world!

Q. When do astronauts eat?
A. At launch time.

Q. Which cologne will the new generation of American astronauts wear?
A. Elon Musk.

Q. Why were cosmonauts on the old Russian space station always bumping into things?
A. Because objects in MIR are closer than they appear.

Q. What's the difference between an astronaut and a cosmonaut?
A. Astronauts take it slow and easy, but cosmonauts are always rushin'.

Q. What do you call a fruit that goes into space?
A. A Coco-Naut!

Q. Where does an overweight astronaut go to get back in shape?
A. Planet Fitness.

Q. Where does NASA launch maize into space?
A. At Cape Corn-averal.

Q. What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
A. Please help me find some space for this book.

Q. Why did the astronaut give up his dream of going to Mars?
A. Because there's no longer any Opportunity there.

Q. Why can't astronauts stay in a long-term relationship?
A. Because they always need their space.

Q. What does a well-dressed astronaut wear to a posh party?
A. A space suit.

Q. What do astronauts aboard the Internation Space Station eat for dessert?
A. Pie in the sky.

Why are astronauts successful? Because they always go up in the world!How did one astronaut on the moon say he was sorry? He Apollo-gized.Q. Where do planets and stars go to study? A. The University!

Q. Why did the kid want to be an astronaut?
A. 'Cause his parents told him the sky is the limit!

Q. What do you call NASA engineers when they're loud and rowdy?
A. Raucous scientists.

Q. Why did a baby astronaut go into outer space?
A. To visit the Milkyway!

Q. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
A. You rock it!

Q. Why did the astronaut wear a bulletproof vest?
A. To protect himself from shooting stars.

Q. What do astronauts do if they're dirty?
A. Take a meteor shower.

Q. What happened to the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?
A. He got stuck in Orbit!

Q. How did the happy Apollo astronaut describe his mission?
A. Over the moon.

Q. Which dance do all astronauts know?
A. The Moonwalk!

Q. What do you call a teenage space explorer that talks smack?
A. A Sass-tronaut!

Q. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
A. He claimed he needed more space.

Q. What do astronaut contractors use when building on the moon?
A. Moon beams.

Q. How do astronaut poets write their poetry?
A. In Uni-verses.

Q. What does an astronaut use to keep his feet warm?
A. A Space Heater!

Q. What do you say to a hot astronaut?
A. Back that NASA up!

Q. Why do astronauts have a hard time relating to other people?
A. They're not very down to earth.

Q. Why does it cost big bucks to get a new rocket off the ground?
A. Because there is no free launch.

Q. Why aren't there any dog astronauts in space?
A. Because dogs hate vacuums!

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite keyboard key? A. The Space Bar!Q. Where do thirsty cow astronauts stop to get a drink? A. The Milky Way!Q. What do you call a loony spaceman? A. Astro-Nut!

Q. Why was the astronaut logged in online?
A. To update his Spacebook status.

Q. Why did the 1970s astronaut suddenly stop what he was doing?
A. 'Cause he just spaced out, man.

Q. Where do astronauts go for a little liquid libation?
A. The Space Bar.

Q. What did the scientist say when his wife announced she was leaving him because he was obsessed with astronomy?
A. Geez, what planet is she on?

Did you hear the latest astronomy joke? Nevermind, it's over your head.

Q. Which space craft was named after singer Morissette?
A. Space Shuttle Alanis.

Q. What does UFO stand for to astronaut cows?
A. Udder Failure Oops!

Q. What is a astronaut's favorite thing about computers?
A. The space bar.

Q. What did the astronomer say when his son asked how stars die?
A. Usually an overdose.

Q. Why did the student drop out of the astronomy class?
A. He said, "Remembering all those constellations really took its Ptolemy."

Q. How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. 'Cause they're not interested in that short wave stuff.

Q. What happened when the astronaut took off his helmet at the secret Mars base?
A. The view was breathtaking.

Q. Which music do astronauts listen to in the Terran star system?
A. Neptunes.

Q. Why did the astronaut go on a hiatus?
A. 'Cause he was all spaced out.

Q. What does E.T. use to fasten his spaceship to the docking station?
A. An astro-knot.

Q. Where do astronauts dock their spacecraft?
A. At a parking meteor.

Old astronauts never die. They just travel to another universal realm.

Q. What do pigs call the creatoin of the universe A. The Pig Bang!Q. What do you get if you cross a lamb and a rocket? A. Space Sheep!Q. What is fast, loud, and crunchy? A. A Rocket Chip!

Q. What happens to bratty teenage astronauts who misbehave?
A. They are grounded!

Q. What do astronauts eat lunch on?
A. Flying saucers.

Q. What do astronauts eat dinner on?
A. Satellite dishes.

Kid: I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.
Giraffe: My, what high hopes you have!

Q. What's the difference between astrology and astronomy?
A. About 50 I.Q. points...

Q. What do you call a professional who tries to beautify outer space?
A. A Cosmo-tologist.

Q. What do androgenous astronauts say UFO stands for?
A. Unisex Fun Onboard.

Spaced Out Point to Ponder: If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get missle-toe?

Q. What do you call a donkey that tosses almonds at the moon?
A. An Ass-Throw-Nut.

Q. What did the astronaut say after he crashed on the moon?
A. I Apollo-Gize!

A retro lunar joke from the 1960s:
Q. Why aren't there any female astronauts on the moon?
A. It doesn't need cleaning yet...

Q. How did the science teacher begin the unit on astronomy?
A. With a stellar explanation.

Q. Do old old astronauts ever die?
A. No, they just go off hitchhiking through the universe.

Q. Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
A. The one with the biggest head.

Q. Why did the naughty boy become an astronaut?
A. Because he could do no earthly good.

Q. What did the astronaut order at the Tex-Mex restaurant in the Oort Cloud?
A. A quasar-dilla.

Q. Why do vegans hate astronomy?
A. Near Earth Objects are a bit too meteor for them!

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite snack?
A. A Mars Bar.

Q. Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?
A. 'Cause it was full.

Q. Why did the astronaut take a broom into space?
A. To clean up the stardust.

Q. What does an astronaut do when he gets really angry?
A. He blasts off!

Q. What is an astonomer?
A. A night watchman with a college education.

| Outer Space Jokes and Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Sun Jokes and Celestial Star Puns |
| Astronaut Jokes | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Galactic Jokes |
| E.T. Jokes | UFO LOLs | Ancient Aliens | Green Man Alien Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Animal Astronaut | Cows in Space | Engineer Jokes | Math Jokes | Weather Puns | Enviro Puns |
| Science Jokes + Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geologist Jokes and Rock Humor |

| School Jokes, Student Puns | Teacher Jokes | Grammar Jokes | Letter of the Alphabet LOLs |
| Author Jokes, Writer Humor | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown | Book Jokes | Librarian Jokes |
| Brainy Jokes and Smart Puns | Artificial Inelligence Jokes | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |

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You're still in low earth orbit, so here's even more galactic laughter,
high flying humor, astro jokes, and naut-y painful puns to space you out:

More Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...

| Dumb Blonde Jokes | Stupid Bar Jokes | Astute Colorado Jokes | Gnome Nonsense | Clever Hipster Jokes |
| Guy Smarts | Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | Acute Medical Puns | Musical Genius Jokes | Smart Ass Pick-Up Lines |
| Mind-Bending Painful Puns | Mind-Boggling Riddles | Mind-Numbing Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes |
| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Work Humor, Joking on the Job Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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