What happens to bratty teenage astronauts who misbehave?
A. They are grounded!
What do astronauts eat lunch on?
A. Flying saucers.
What do astronauts eat dinner on?
A. Satellite dishes.
I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.
Giraffe: My, what high hopes you have!
What's the difference between astrology and astronomy?
A. About 50 I.Q. points...
What do you call a professional who tries to beautify outer
A. A Cosmo-tologist.
What do androgenous astronauts say UFO stands for?
A. Unisex Fun Onboard.
Why did the astronaut take a broom into space?
A. To clean up the stardust.
What do you call a donkey that tosses almonds at the moon?
A. An Ass-Throw-Nut.
What did the astronaut say after he crashed on the moon?
A. I Apollo-Gize!
retro lunar joke from the 1960s:
Q. Why aren't there any female astronauts on the moon?
A. It doesn't need cleaning yet...
How did the science teacher begin the unit on astronomy?
A. With a stellar explanation.
How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light
A. None. 'Cause they're not interested in that short wave
Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
A. The one with the biggest head.
Why did the naughty boy become an astronaut?
A. Because he could do no earthly good.
What did the astronaut order at the Tex-Mex restaurant in
the Oort Cloud?
A. A quasar-dilla.
Why do vegans hate astronomy?
A. Near Earth Objects are a bit too meteor for them!
What is an astronaut's favorite snack?
A. A Mars Bar.
Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?
A. 'Cause it was full.
What does an astronaut do when he gets really angry?
A. He blasts off!
What is an astonomer?
A. A night watchman with a college education.
Out Point to Ponder: If athletes get athlete's foot, do
astronauts get missle-toe?