Punny Riddle: Q. What happens to illegally parked frogs? A. They get toad away.   PainfulPuns.com - Animal Puns, Wildlie Humor, Beary Funny Jokes!

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Are you just here for the lynx? Happy Caturday!
Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two, but nobody knows how they got in there?
Q. Why do horses fart when they buck? A. Because they can't acheive full horse power without gas!
Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!

Chimps ask: What do you call bananas that are friends with monkeys? A. A bunch of idiots!
Q. What's the difference between a Denver Broncos hater and a carp? A. One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish! Go Broncos!

 


Wildly Funny Animal Jokes and Feral Funnies
Track down animal puns, wild animal humor, rabid memes and naturally funny wildlife jokes.

Funny Animal Riddles, Wild Jokes, Fauna Puns
(Because Tame Animal Humor is TOO Mainstream and Lame Animal Jokes are Just Plain Wrong!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Peril! Wild animal humor, fauna puns, and laughing hyenas can be deadly funny!
| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes, Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | African Safari Animal Jokes |
| Dinosaur Jokes | Colorado Wildlife | Wolf Jokes | Animal Bar Jokes | Animal Pothead Puns |
| Bear Jokes | Deer Puns | Mouse Jokes | Rabbit Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Animal Crime LOLs |
| Bat Jokes | Owl Jokes, Owl-ful Puns | Hiss-terical Snake Puns | Kangaroo LOLs | Spider Jokes |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Reptile Jokes | Fish Jokes | Sealife Humor |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |

Q. What Did the Judge Say When a Skunk Walked In to Testify? A. Odor in the Court! Q. What Do You Get If You Cross a Donkey with an Owl? A. A Smart Ass That Knows It All!Q. What is a Zebra? A. 25 Sizes Larger Than an A Bra!

Bar none, this Painful animal Pun is one very stinky skunk joke. Guilty as charged.

Q. Why are skunks so clever?
A. Because they have natural in-stinks!

Q. Why didn't the skunk call home?
A. His phone was out of odor!

Q. How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A. A phew!

Q. What do you get if you cross a Star Wasr bot and a skunk?
A. R2-PU.

Q. How much money does a skunk need?
A. Just one scent.

Q. Which smells worse, a skunk or a stinkbug?
A. Yes!

Q. What do you get if you cross an owl with a cat?
A. Meowls.

Q. Which kind of books do sleuth owls enjoy?
A. Hoot-dunits.

Q. What do you call a baby owl swimming?
A. A Moist-owlette.

Q. What do you call owls that only hunt at night?
A. Bedtime preyers.

Q. What is the most common type of urban owl violence?
A. Drive by hooting.

Q. What is an owl party called?
A. A hootenanny.

Hooting Hookup Line: Hey baby, I've been thinking about you – owl night long...

Q. What do you call a male zebra?
A. ZeBro.

Q. What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A. A zebra.

Q. Why are zebras so opinionated?
A. 'Cause the them, everything is black and white.

Q. What did the blonde name her zebra?
A. Spot.

Wild Animal Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do those stripes go all the way down?

Q. What is a zebra?
A. A horse behind bars.

Denver Zoo Fact of the Day: Mile High Broncos football fans really do know what zebras are!

Q. What City Has the Largest Rodent Population? A. HamsterdamGroaner Pun: A bear was hit by an 18-wheeler. It was a grizzly accident.Q. How Did the Piglet with Laryngitis Feel? A. He was a little disgruntled!

Just sink your teeth in and chew on this Continental rodent joke.

Q. What is small, furry, and smells like bacon?
A. A hamster.

Q. Where do mice and rats go for happy hour cocktails?
A. To the squeakeasy.

Q. What do rodents do after they eat?
A. Gopher a walk.

Q. How did the hamster feel after taking a shower?
A. Squeaky clean.

Q. How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Pet Hamster Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, let's make the exercise wheel squeak all night!

Q. What do you call a wet bear?
A. A drizzly bear!

Q. Which kind of bear changes his mind every few minutes?
A. A bi-polar bear.

Q. Why did the lawyer call the grizzly to the stand?
A. So he could bear witness.

Q. When do bruin couples finally stop arguing?
A. When it becomes un-bear-able, or it's time to hibernate.

Q. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear with a harp?
A. A bear-faced lyre.

Q. Why should you never say hello to a brown bear's ass?
A. 'Cause you'll meet a grizzly end!

Q. What's the difference between curing bird flu and swine flu?
A. With bird flu you need tweetment, and with swine flu you need oinkment.

Q. Why don't pigs ever recover from an illness?
A. Because you have to kill them before you can cure them!

Q. What do you call a pig that's no fun to be around?
A. A Boar!

Q. Which kind of social gatherings do pigs like the most?
A. Sow-prise parties!

Q. Why did the pig go to a casino?
A. She wanted to play the slop machines.

Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!

Q. Do Birds Always Know Exactly Where They're Going? A. No, sometimes they just wing it.Funny Arachnid Riddle: Q. What do you call young married spiders? A. Newly WebsA Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.

Q. What do you call a bird that can fix just about anything?
A. Duck Tape.

Q. What happens when a duck flies upside down?
A. He quacks up!

Q. What does a well-dressed duck wear to a formal affair?
A. His ducks-edo.

Q. What does a goose say when a Mallard is in the vee flight path?
A. What the duck?

Q. Why is animal poop sexy?
A. Because the birds and bees doo it.

Q. Chickens rise when the rooster crows, so when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn.

Water Fowl Pick-Up Line: Wanna Duck?

Q. When do spiders go on their honeymoon?
A. After their webbing day.

Q. Why did the spider go on a test drive?
A. He just wanted to go for a spin.

Q. What is it called when big hairy spiders rain down out of the sky?
A. A tarantula downpour!

Q. Which kind of spider hangs around cannabis grow houses?
A. Daddy Bong Legs.

Q. Why are spiders such great tennis players?
A. Because they have great topspin.

Q. What do you call a male spider who is very well endowed?
A. Daddy Dong Legs.

Eight-Legged Point to Ponder: Do arachnid puns really bite?

Q. What do monkeys do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!

Q. What happened after a monkey exploded at a food testing lab?
A. Rhesus pieces were everywhere.

Q. Where do gorillas pick up rumors?
A. Over the ape-vine.

Q. Which kind of monkeys share an Amazon account?
A. Prime-Mates.

Q. What kind of underwear do sexy monkeys wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.

Q. What do you call an angry monkey?
A. Furious George.

Q. Which monkeys enjoy seafood?
A. Shrimpanzees.

Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!Insect Puns Really Bug Me!Two Fish Are in a Tank. One Asks the Other: "How Do You Drive This Thing?"

Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A. A Pythong!

Q. What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A. Hiss-tory!

Q. What was the snake's best subject in school?
A. Math, because he was an adder.

Q. What is it called when a rattlesnake can't produce venom?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!

Q. What do you get when you cross a serpent with a tuba?
A. A snake in the brass.

Q. How did the herpatologist's vet treat the sick snake?
A. With asp-irin.

Q. Which medication does a lisping snake take before giving a presentation?
A. Anti-hiss-tamines.

Q. What do you call a scary snake invasion south of the Rio Grande?
A. Hiss-panic.

Reptilian Pick-Up Line: Hey Eve, I hear you like big snakes?

Q. Where do the most ants live?
A. In Antlantic City.

Q. What do you call a small female insect who can see the future?
A. Clair Voy Ant.

Q. Why don't ants ever get sick?
A. Because they have anty bodies.

Q. Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A. Too much competition!

Q. What do you call a ladybug or a scarab that prefers to ascend up steep surfaces?
A. An uphill beetle.

Q. What do you call a homeless bug?
A. A Bum-blebee!

Q. What do you call an insect that can't have too much sugar?
A. A Dia-beetle.

Q. What do fireflies eat?
A. Light snacks.

Q. What do termites call the wood on some dining furniture?
A. Table food.

Q. Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
A. Because it was a moth ball.

Q. What do you call an underwater social network?
A. Fishbook!

Q. What do you call a fish who wears an ascot?
A. So fish-ticated!

Q. Which fish is the best dressed?
A. The swordfish because they always look sharp!

Q. What kind of fish could help you hear better?
A. A Herring Aid.

Q. What's the best way to catch a fish?
A. Have someone throw it to you.

Q. How does a fish access the World Wide Web?
A. It using the Net.

Q. What did the sign at the flea market say to advertise free low quality fish aquariums?
A. Tanks for Nothing.

Q. What happened after Denver's Channel 9 hired a fishy tabloid reporter to do human interest stories?
A. The station's ratings really tanked.

Fishy Groan of the Day: If you know more funny fish puns, let minnow!

| Wildly Funny Wild Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Gorilla Jokes and Big Ape Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | Sasquatch Jokes | Colorado Bigfoot Jokes |
| Cheeky Monkey Jokes | Stoner Monkey Jokes | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Animal Bar Jokes |
| Elephant Jokes, Mammoth Puns | Lion Jokes, Big Cat Puns | African Safari Animal Jokes |
| Colorado Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Wolf Jokes | Bear Jokes | Deer Jokes | Mouse Jokes, Rat Puns |
| Bat Jokes | Rabbit Jokes, Hare Puns | Animal Poop Puns | Sports Animal Jokes | Bronco Puns |
| Hiss-terical Snake Puns | Owl Hoots | Rooster Jokes | Kangaroo Humor | Animal Crime Jokes |
| Insect Puns | Bee Jokes | Spider Jokes | Frog Jokes, Toad Puns | Reptile Puns | Dinosaur Jokes |
| Vet Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes | Animal Music Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines | Xmas Animals |
| Duck Puns | Goose Jokes | Fish Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Marine Mammal Jokes, Sealife Puns |
| Farm Animals | Chicken Jokes | Cow Puns | Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Pet Animal Puns | Bird Jokes | Pet Cat Jokes | Feline Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 | Pet Rodent Jokes |

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jaw-some jokes and hairy funny painful puns that really do bite:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Bra Jokes | Booger Jokes | Camping Jokes | Coloradan Jokes | Hairy Jokes | Hipster Humor |
| Lawn Jokes | Magic Puns | Mile High Club Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music Puns | Pirate Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Social Media LOLs | Sports Jokes | Superhero Puns | Travel Jokes | Turd Puns | Weed Jokes | Werewolf Jokes |

Garden Puns, Green Groaners Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Monstrously Funny PunsHoliday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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