Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? A. Poultry in Motion.   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

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Q. Why did a blonde go to the dentist? A. Because somebody dented her car!
Q. How can you tell if a woman is wearing panty hose? A. If she farts, her ankles swell up!
Q. What do you call the ability to see a hundred years into the future? A. Extra-Century Perception!
What do you call an overweight alien? An extra cholesterol!
Big Ape Asks: What is the problem wiith banker jokes? A. Bankers don't think they're funny, and normal people don't think they're jokes!

 


Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Funny Riddles
Puzzle over answers to stumper jokes, questionable humor, and ridiculously funny riddles.

Funny Riddles, Silly Questions, Dumb Answers
(Because Being in a Quandary Over Unanswered Questions Could Never Be Too Mainstream Atop Pikes Peak)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Punny riddles may make you laugh your arse off. What was the question again?
| Funny Riddles | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground BeefQ. Why do hipsters tend to stick to back country streams in Colorado? A. Because they're less main stream!Q. What is a Zebra? A. 25 Sizes Larger Than an A Bra!

Q. What do you call a cow with one leg?
A. Steak.

Q. What is the lowest grade of steak?
A. Where the rubber meets the road.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cow?
A. Hound Beef!

Q. Which beef steak can see into your future?
A. A Medium.

Q. Why do steaks make such terrific baseball players?
A. Because they're great at the plate!

Q. How did the hipster burn his tongue?
A. He ate a burrito before it was cool.

Q. How do you drown a hipster?
A. In the Main Stream!

Q. Why do hipsters only use the microwave?
A. Because they don't like conventional ovens!

Q. Why do hipsters dig the subway?
A.
Because it's so far underground!

Q. Why do hipsters like lava?
A. Because they liked rock before it was cool!

Q. What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A. A zebra.

Q. What did the blonde cat lover name her new pet zebra?
A. Spot.

Q. How do biologists know the zebra is the oldest animal species on Earth?
A. Because it's still in black and white!

Q. Why don't child zebras like to color?
A. They just can't stay between the lions!

Unanswered Riddle: Is a zebra black and white, or white and black?

Q. What do you call a painting of moonshine equipment? A. A still life!Q. What Do You Call Two People in an Ambulance? A. Pair of MedicsQ. What is a ghoul's favorite cheese? A. Monster-Ella!

Q. What did the artist say to his rival?
A. I challenge you to a doodle!

Q. Why did Vincent Van Gogh become a painter?
A. Because he didn't have an ear for music.

Q. Why was the painting arrested?
A. Because it was framed!

Q. Why did the artist paint in jail?
A. He had a brush with the law.

Q. What do you call some guy hanging on the wall?
A. Art.

Q. What did the blonde say when the guy told her to call an ambulance?
A. Dude, you're an ambulance!

Q. How did the blonde survive that horrific traffic accident?
A. She hit an ambulance.

Q. What do you get if you cross a paramedic and a citrus fruit?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What did the paramedic say to the stroke victim with left side paralysis?
A.
It's okay, you'll be all right now.

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite cheese?
A. Limb-burger.

Q. Which cheese is made backward?
A. Edam!

Q. When should you go on a cheese diet?
A. When you need to cheddar few pounds!

Q. What do you call a cheese with curly hair?
A. Perm-esan.

Q. What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
A. Looking Gouda.

Q. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.Q. Why does your nose like being in the middle of your face? A. Because it's the scenter of attention!Q. How do you change tires on a duck? A. With a Quacker Jack.

Q. Which kind of lightning is drawn to athletic events?
A. Ball lightning.

Q. Why do blondes smile when there's lightning?
A. They think they're getting their picture taken.

Q. How do lightning bolts flirt?
A. They electro-cute each other!

Q. Why do raindrops like lightning at night?
A. Because they can see where they're going.

Q. What kind of music are lightning bolts most attracted to?
A. Metal.

Q. What do you call a nose without a body?
A. Nobody Nose!

Q. What do you find inside of a clean nose?
A. Fingerprints!

Q. How do you know your dog has a cold nose?
A. When he walks in the room, all the other dogs sit down!

Q. How can you keep a skunk from smelling?
A. Hold its nose!

Q. Why can't a giant's nose be twelve inches long?
A. Because then it would be a foot.

Unanswered Riddle: Why does the nose run and the feet smell?

Q. What do you get when a duck squats?
A. Butt-quack.

Q. What kind of duck steals?
A. A robber ducky.

Q. Why did the duck stop in the middle of the road?
A. Because it tripped on a quack.

Q. Where should you take a sick duck?
A. To the ducktor.

Q. Why don't ducks ever grow up?
A. Because they grow down.

Q. Why do ducks fly south for the winter?
A. Because it's too far to waddle.

Q. What did the waiter say to the horse? A. Sorry, I can't take your order. That's not my stable!Q. Why did the tomato turn red? A. Because it saw the the salad dressing.Q. What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch? A. Beef jerky!

Q. What do race horses eat?
A. Fast Food!

Q. Where do horses go when they're sick?
A. To the horse-pital!

Q. Why was the horse naked?
A. Because his jockey fell off.

Q. What is the best kind of story to tell a runaway horse?
A. A Tale of Whoa!

Q. Which spring time ailment do horses dread most?
A. Hay Fever!

Q. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the fridge door?
A. "Hey, close the door. I'm dressing!"

Q. Why did the tomato and the corn fall in love?
A. He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

Q. Which will win the salad race: the lettuce, a faucet, or a tomato?
A. The lettuce is a head, the faucet is still running, and the tomato will eventually ketchup.

Q. What did the salad say to the anchovie?
A. Lettuce be friends.

Q. What is a steak pun?
A. A medium where anything well done is rare!

Q. Why are steaks so happy at barbeques?
A. They get to meet all their old flames.

Q. Where do cows eat lunch?
A. The calf-eteria!

Q. Why was the well-done steak's gossip so bad?
A. It wasn't juicy enough.

Q. Which kind of humor leaves a beef steak cold?
A. Biting wit and gnawing puns!

| Funny Riddles | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |


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