Q. What is every rapper's favorite toy?
A. YoYo.

Q. How is business going at the new yoyo factory?
A. It's seen some ups and downs.

Sign at the Dollar Store:
Free Yoyos. No Strings Attached.

Q. How are toys and bobbies alike?
A. Both are intended for children, but dad can't keep his hands off them.

Q. What happened when the new Lego toy store had its grand opening?
A. Shoppers were lined up for blocks.

Q. Why are there so few funny toy Lego blocks jokes?
A. 'Cause it's not that easy to fit the pieces together properly..

Q. How did the guy feel when the new Toy Story action figures came out?
A. He got a Woody.

Q. Why aren't there many toy boat jokes?
A. 'Cause nobody can repeat them three times.

Q. Why hasn't anybody heard the latest Russian doll toy riddle?
A. 'Cause it's an inside joke.

Q. Why did the constipated thief steal everything in the toy store except for one Teddy bear?
A. 'Cause he couldn't take a Pooh.

Q. What is Teddy bear poop called?
A. Fleeces.

Q. What happens when you tell your toy Teddy bear that he's cute?
A. He plushes.

Q. What do girl Teddies do to make themselves look larger?
A. They wear plush-up bras.

Q. How did the Star Wars Teddy bear cross the road?
A. Ewoked!

Q. How are an angry Teddy bear and a lame joke alike?
A. They don't pack much of a punch.

Q. What do cannibal Teddy bears eat on Thanksgving?
A. Stuffing.

Q. What do you get when you cross a plush toy bear with a pig?
A. A Teddy boar.

Q. How do you start a plush toy bear race?
A. Say, "Teddy, set, go!"

Q. Which toy is a must-have for every hermit?
A. A boomerang.

Q. Why did the blonde use her wall clock as a Frisbee?
A. 'Cause she wanted to see time fly.

Q. Which kind of pie is the favorite of ghosts in Australia?
A. Boo Meringue.

Q. Where were the Terminator theme toys shelved at Target?
A. Aisle B, back.

Q. How did the kid like his toy action figures that didn't have feet?
A. He can't stand them.

Q. Why didn't the kid like his new toy action figure that was missing a foott?
A. He thought they were lame.

Q. Which new sex toy are men all excited about?
A. The Erector Set.

Q. What are an orphan's favorite toys?
A. Mom and dad action figures.

Q. Which secretive company sells sex toys to aliens?
A. SpaceXXX.

Q. How does the toy hospital fix a doll with a broken face?
A. With plastic surgery.

Q. Which kind of underwear comes with a GI Joe doll?
A. None. 'Cause they go comando.

Q. What did Old MacDonald sell at his toy store?
A. GI Gi Joe.

Q. What was the most popular animated movie in Ancient Greece?
A. Troy Story.

Q. Why did the guy brag that his girlfriend is a blow up doll?
A. 'Cause she takes his breath away.

Q. How do you know when to get a new blow up doll?
A. When the one you've got is nearly full.

Q. Why is the military using dolls to fight ISIS?
A. 'Cause they've developed a new sex doll that blows itself up.

Collectible Doll Fact of the Day: When Barbie made her first appearance, she was the only girl made of plastic.

Q. What is Terrorist Barbie?
A. A blow-up dolll.

Have you seen this year's brand new blonde Dr. Barbie plastic surgeon doll? It operates on DD batteries!

Q. Why isn't there a Pregnant Barbie doll?
A. 'Cause Ken comes in another bos

Q. What did the baker get when he crossed the Pillsbury Doughboy with Barbie?
A. A doll with a yeast infection.

Q. What did the classic Divorced Barbie doll come with?
A. Most of Ken's stuff.

Q. What is the name of Barbie's new beau doll who's a homless guy from New Jersey?
A. Hobo Ken.

Q. What do you get with Newly Divorced Barbie?
A. Ken's classic Corbette.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chic fashion doll with a grill?
A. BarBie Q Chicken.

Q. What did the toy shop owner call the request for 200 toy Barbies?
A. A doll order.

Q. What do you call a bunch of fashion dolls standing in a line?
A. A Barbie queue.

Q. Which Teddy bear always rides a bike wherever he goes?
A. Schwinnie the Pooh.

Q. What are flip-flops with Hot Wheels toy cars glued to the bottoms?
A. Makeshift roller skates. (That kid will likely grow up to be an engineer.)

Q. What is a toy car with square wheels?
A. A terrible roll model.

Q. Why were so many collectible toy Matchbox cars Ford models in the '70s?
A. So kids would get used to pushing them.

Q. What is proctologist's favorite classic toy?
A. A Tonka drump truck.

Q. Why couldn't the avid toy train collector stop talking about his hobby?
A. Because he had a one-track mind.

Q. What is it called when two kids play nicely together with their new Play-Doh?
A. Putty-buddy.

Q. Which kind of balls aren't supposed to be bounced?
A. Eyeballs.

Q. Why didn't the guy who took all the shirts off the GI Joe dolls go to jail?
A. 'Cause the judge said he had the right to bare arms.

Q. What did a Lego man say to another?
A. You are a real blockhead.

Q. Which emotional malady do Lego toy blocks suffer from?
A. Separation anxiety.

Q. What do Russians call their retro Lego toy set?
A. Soviet Bloc.

Q. What did the Legos Alien say?
A. I come in pieces.

Q. What does it say on the tombstone of the Lego Man that died when sombody stepped on him?
A. Rest in pieces..

Toy Store Pick-Up Line: Hey guy, are you the top of a Lego brick? 'Cause you're a real stud.

Q. How do you measure a Lego Man for new shoes?
A. In square feet.

Q. What hapened when the truck full of Legos crashed on the highway?
A. Police are still trying to piece it all together.

Q. Why is it hard for grownups to give away their toy blocks?
A. 'Cause they just can't Lego.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job at the pogo stick factory?
A. Too many ups and downs.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job at the trampoline factory?
A. 'Cause he suffered from spring allergies.

Q. Why wasn't the Lego Man feeling well?
A. 'Cause he had a blocked nose.

Q. What do Lego figures do when they want to have a little fun?
A. They have a block party.

Q. Where are rubber snakes located at the toy store?
A. In the rept-aisle.

Q. What does a girl witch use to bake cookies?
A. An Easy Bake Coven.

Q. Why are Russian nesting dolls so difficukt?
A. 'Cause they're so full of themselves.

Q. Which kind of doll will you find in the ocean?
A. The doll-fin.

Q. Why don't they sell stuffed animal zebras at the toy store?
A. 'Cause it's too hard to find the bar code at checkout.

Q. Which classic children's doll was cheaply made and could collapse at any moment?
A. Rickety Anne.

Q. What did the Keebler Elves get when they crossed Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy?
A. A tempermental redhead with a yeast infection.

Q. What happens to every Tickle Me Elmo doll before leaving the toy factory?
A. He gets two test tickles,

Q. How can collectors tell if a Louis XIV doll is authebic?
A. When you play with it, the head falls off.

Q. What is the Marie Antoinette Barbie doll?
A. Her head is removable and she come with her very own guillotine.

Q. Why did the blonde girl throw her toy doll on the grill?
A. 'Cause it was a Barbie-que.

Q. Which new Barbie doll is doing monster sales?
A. FrankenBarbie. She comes with extra body parts and bolts in her neck.

Q. What do you get if you cross a doll with some ketchup, honey, mustard and onions in Kansas City?
A. Barbie-que sauce.

Q. What do you have to do before you can play a game of chess?
A. Get an opponent on board!

Q. What happened after all the board games were stolen from the toy store?
A. The police are still looking for Clues.

Q. What sentence did the judge hand out to the habitual board game thief?
A. Life.

Q. What do you call a criminal who only steals military-themed board games?
A. A Risk taker.

Q. What is the favorite board game of Tibetan boarder guards?
A. Chinese Checkers.

Q. Which new board game is so popular that players just can't keep their hands off it?
A. Glue.

Q. Who did the toy store call when all of their real estate board games were stolen?
A. Monopolice.

Q. What happens if you accidentally swallow Scrabble tiles?
A. Your next bowel movement could spell disaster.

Q. What happened after the blonde ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles?
A. She had consonant vowel movements.

Q. Which toy store is guaranteed to have something that'll make you laugh?
A. LMFAO Schwartz.

Q. How is playing a game of Scrabble like looking at a hot woman?
A. You spend the whole time looking at the rack, trying to form words.

Q. What happened after the dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles?
A. He kept leaving little messages all over the house...

Q. What is a Liberal Arts major's favorite board game?
A. Trivial Pursuit.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job at the hula hoop factory?
A. Management kept going around and around about giving him a raise.

Q. Why did the guy retire from his job at the hula hoop factory?
A. His career had been a vicious circle.

Q. How are hula hoop sales reported?
A. In round numbers.

Q. What did the homie say to his bro who spilled Scrabble tiles all over the road?
A. What's the word on the street?

Q. What is a baby Bigfoot's favorite toy?
A. His Deady Bear!

Q. What did the toy company name the Cabbage Patch Kid with a yeast infection?
A. Sauerkraut.

Q. How do you handle it when you're playing tag and you get tagged?
A. Just accept the fact and think, so be it.

Q. Why couldn't the girl ever win a game of scrabble with her brother?
A. 'Cause he wooden letter.

Q. Why did the high school student quit his job at the toy store?
A. 'Cause it was not just fun and games.

Q. What is it called when some playground equipment is no longer relevant?
A. Moot swings.

Q. What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
A. His Yeti Bear!

Q. Why couldn't the toy store have the guy who tore all the arms off the teddy bears arrested?
A. 'Cause the cops said he had the right to bear arms.

Q. Which board game was most popular with doctors in the 20th century?
A. Scribble.

Q. What do avid board game players eat for breakfast?
A. Scrabbled eggs.

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved.