Marathon runners with bad footwear, suffer the agony of da feet. - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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Happy Toes Day!
A Bachelor's a Guy Who's Footloose and Fiance-Free.
Marathon pun readers suffer the agony of the feet, as well!
Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!


Foot Jokes, Sure-Footed Humor, Funny Feet
Agonize over da feet puns, toe-tally funny pinkie jokes, happy feet humor and podiatrist grins.

Stinky Feet Jokes, Toe Puns, 12-Inch Humor
(Because Ticklish Feet Jokes ane Bigfoot Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You've Got an Ingrown Toenail!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Hot foot jokes, arch humor, little piggy laughs and smelly feet puns ahead.
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Your feet must hurt? You've been marching through my mind all day!Q. How do you greet a Spanish pirate with a rubber toe? A. Hola Roberto!Don't bother asking a podiatrist for metric conversions. He only knows feet.

Q. What's the difference between a man and Sasquatch?
A. One's covered in matted hair and smells bad; the other has big feet.

Q. Why does Sasquatch always step out on Saturday nights?
A. Because he has big feet.

Q. Why couldn't the Colorado mountain hikers cross the footbridge?
A. It had fallen arches.

Q. Why did the photographer become a podiatrist?
A. 'Cause she enjoyed editing raw footage.

A shoe salesman, a pirate, and a clown jog into a bar. The bartender says, "What? Is this some kind of a joke about La Feet?"

Q. What happens if you drop a lava rock on your foot?
A. You Krakatoa. OUCH!

Q. Why did that one nurse always vomit when a patient with no feet enters the ER?
A. Because she was lack toes intolerent.

Q. Why did the grizzly bear marathon runner quit the race with Bigfoot?
A. 'Cause he couldn't face da feet!

Q. What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist?
A. One is a lot more impressed if you give him a foot.

Student Doctor: It looks like there's something written on this patient's big toe.
Famous Surgeon: Oh, yes. That's a footnote.

Q. How do you measure a Lego Man for new shoes?
A. In square feet.

Did you hear about the new podiatrist office? Now he's got enough patients to foot the bill.

Ape Asks: Why did the banker count his money with his toes? A. So it wouldn't run through his fingers!Q. What do you have to do before getting into a designer dress? A. Get a foot in the Dior!Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A. Because then it would be a foot!

Q. How did the dancing mime kick the bucket?
A. He stubbed his pan-toe-mime.

Man: The doctor said he'd have me back on my feet in two weeks.
Friend: And, did he?
Man: Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.

Q. Why is Yeti so jealous of Sasquatch?
A. Because Squatches have big feet.

Q. What is the fear of taking off your socks called?
A. Cold feet.

Q. Why did the shoe go to the foot doctor?
A. It needed to be heeled.

Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe while hiking along the High Line Canal trail?
A. It means some unfortunate horse is walking around barefoot.

Q. Why didn't the werewolf go to the dance?
A. He wanted to, but the full moon gave him paws...

Q. Which vegetables do podiatrists see most often?
A. B-unions and corns.

Did you hear about the blonde marathon runner who ran for an hour, but only ran two feet? Well, Duh! She only had two feet!

Q. Why don't Colorado bears wear shoes?
A. What's the point? They'd still have bear feet!

Q. Why was the big dog such a horrible dancer?
A. Because he had two left feet!

Q. How iid the kid like his toy action figures that didn't have feet?
A. He can't stand them.

Q. What does a barefoot man get if he steps on an electric wire? A. A pair of shocks!I used to be a marathon runner, but I couldn't stand the agony of de feet.If an athlete gets athlet's foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistle Toe!

Q. Why do banjo pickers always die with their boots on?
A. So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.

Q. What's the difference between a man camping and a Pike National Forest Sasquatch?
A. One's covered in matted hair and smells bad. The other has big feet.

Q. How many podiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 10. This little piggy wnet to the market, this little piggy stayed home...

Q. How does Mt. Elbert Sasquatch travel so high and far in one day?
A. He takes big footsteps.

Q. How does Sasquatch find his way through the remote woods?
A. He sticks to the big footpath.

Q. Why is Sawatch Sasquatch such an excellent rock climber?
A. 'Cause he's great at getting a big foothold.

Q. How did Godzilla injure his foot?
A. He stepped on a Lego factory. OUCH!

Q. Why did the light-footed cop pull over the U-Haul truck?
A. He wanted to bust a move.

Q. Why are spiders such great basketball players?
A. Because they're all eight-footers!

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, are your hooves sore? 'Cause you've been galloping through my dreams all night long.

Q. How iid the kid like his toy action figures that didn't have feet?
A. He thought they were lame.

Q. Which body part do you only see at Christmas time? A. The Mistletoe!Q. What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A. A bed!Q. What time is it when a Dalek runs over your foot? A. Time to call the Doctor!

Q. Why don't polar bears get married?
A. Because they always get cold feet.

Q. Who should you call if you injure your big toe?
A. A big toe truck.

Q. Why did the circus clown wear loud socks?
A. So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.

Q. What does your auto mechanic do when he stubs his big toe?
A. He calls a big tow truck.

Q. How hard was it for the guy to start the company that manufactures clown shoes?
A. It was no small feet!

Q. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A. Because they lactose!

Nurse Notes: The patient is numb from her toes down...

Q. Why do gnomes dislike clowns?
A. Because they're not funny and they trod all over everything and everybody with their big feet!

Q. Why did the Brachiosaurus have suck a long neck?
A. Because they had really stinky feet.

Q. How is 3+3=9 like your left foot?
A. It's not right!

Q. Why isn't Sasquatch a Denver Broncos fan this year?
A. 'Cause he can't face big da feet!

Q. Which cut of pork smells the wurst?
A. Pickled pigs feet.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a drunken centipede?
A. Enough pickled pigs feet to feed a crowd!

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