Q. What does a skeleton say before dinner? A. Bone Appetit   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What do you call wood when it's scared? A. Petrified!


Spooky Jokes, Deadly Funny Memes, Scary Puns
4 out of 5 zombies recommend our scary memes, frightful humor, and deadly puns!

Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Horror Humor
(Because Cute Kitten Memes Are Too Mainstream. Scary Puns and Campy Horror Humor Not So Much)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Killer Jokes and Hellish Puns Lie Dead Ahead.
Scary Funny Puns | Frightful Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| Halloween | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Ghost | Monster | 2 | 3 | Witch |
| Sasquatch | 2 | Skeleton | 2 | Vampire | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Blood | 2 |
Brains | 2 |

Scary Pick-Up Line: Are you an alien? 'Cause this feeling in my gut makes me want to take you out!If Satan lost his hair, would there be HELL toupee?Zombie Humor: If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossed?

Q. Where do monsters like to go hiking?
A. Death Valley

Monster Pick-Up Line: Are you an alien, 'cause you just abducted my heart!

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Ouch!

Q. How does a werewolf sign letters?
A. Best Vicious!

That's what the bill collector wants you to think, anyway.

Q. Which kind of books do literate monsters enjoy reading?
A. Ones with a cemetery plot.

A tarantula found a date online. He spider on the web!Ghoulish Humor: I was thinking about a brain transplant, but I changed my mind. Scary Pun: Speaking ill of the dead is a grave mistake.

Q. What do you get when you cross a spider and a squirrel?
A. A pest that will run up your leg and eat your nuts.

Q. Why did the vampires go into a cave?
A. To hang out.

Q. How do zombies prepair for tests?
A. By eating lots of brain food

Q. What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
A. "Wow, you're in Grave condition!"

Q. Why are ghosts always happy?
A. Because every shroud has a silver lining.

Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It featured rot and mold in every room.

When a cannibal showed up late for lunch, the others gave him the cold shoulder.Hellish Humor: I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.Motto of the Ghoul's Convention: The Morgue, the Merrier

Q. What did the cannibal say when he was full?
A. I can't eat another mortal.

Q. What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
A. One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghoul and an owl?
A. Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot.

Hulk Humor: My Zipper Broke, But I Fixed It on the Fly!Scary Pick-Up Line: Hey Gnirl, I Dig You!Scary Riddle: Zombie or Gnome, Who'd Prevail?

Just think how scary the jolly green alternative would be!

Q. What does a monster do if he loses his head?
A. He calls a head hunter.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that does stupid stuff?
A. A bonehead

Q. When does a skeleton laugh?
A. When something tickles his funny bone!

Q. Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
A. The jokes were too funny to handle.

Q. What do zombies call door-to-door salesmen?
A. Dead Ringers!

Scary Funny Puns | Frightful Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| Halloween | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Ghost | Monster | 2 | 3 | Witch |
| Sasquatch | 2 | Skeleton | 2 | Vampire | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Blood | 2 |
Brains | 2 |

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