Q. What did the cannibal say when he was full?
A. I can't eat another mortal.

Q. What do you call a guy who is absolutely fed up with people?
A. A cannibal.

Q. What is every cannibal's favorite proverb?
A. You are what you eat.

Q. Why don't most people enjoy cannibal jokes?
A. Because it's an acquired taste.

Q. Why do some people dislike cannibal jokes?
A. Because they're a bite hard to digest.

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite food?
A. Baked Beings.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.

Q. What do you call somebody who might get you into hot water?
A. A cannibal.

Q. What does a cannibal call a stoner?
A. Pot Roast.

Q. Why is it tricky to get stoned with a cannibal?
A. You have to be careful not to say, "Pass me the joint."

Q. Why are waiters at cannibal restaurants considered noble?
A. Because they serve humanity.

Q. What did the cannibal say while eating an Appalachian man sandwich?
A. I like my people inbread.

Q. What does a cannibal call a knight in armor at the Colorado Renaissance Festival?
A. Canned food.

Q. Why do cannibals like pregnant women?
A. Because there is a little surprise inside.

Bakery Point to Ponder: Do cannibals eat gingerbread men for dessert?

Q. Why did the cannibal chef quit his job at the restaurant?
A. 'Cause he was fed up with the customers.

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite dessert?
A. Lady Fingers.

Q. What's the difference between cannibal children and vegetarian kids?
A. Cannibal children are allowed to play with their food.

Q. What do you call a cannibal who bites his brothers and sisters?
A. Munchkin.

Q. What do cannibals call McDonald's delivery drivers?
A. Fast food.

Q. What did the cannibal have after a one-night stand?
A. Breakfast in bed.

Q. What happens at a cannibal wedding reception?
A. They toast the bride and groom.

Two cannibals are enjoying a barbeque. One turns to the other and says, "I hate my mother-in-law. His buddy replies, "Then just eat the vegetables."

Q. Why don't jack-o-lanterns like pumpkin pie?
A. 'Cause they're not cannibals.

Cannibal Dieting Words of Wisdom: The more you eat, the lonelier you get.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. He wiped his butt.

Q. What is a cannibal's dating philosophy?
A. Get to know them, take them home, and make them a meal.

Q. Why do cannibals think pirates who have been in multiple shipwrecks taste best?
A. Because they prefer seasoned survivors.

Q. What does a cannibal on a diet order at McDonalds?
A. A kids meal.

Q. Why did the jury find the defenant who ate fried testicles guilty of canninalism?
A. They rejected his testes-mony.

Q. What do cannibals pack in their lunch sack?
A. Finger sandwiches.

Q. What does a cannibal call a daytime soap opera star?
A. A TV dinner.

Q. Why did the cannibal stop by the women's shelter?
A. He heard they had battered women there.

Q. What do Aussie cannibals call it when they're having a petite blonde for dinner?
A. Barbie-Que.

Q. Why was the cannibal accountant arrested?
A. For buttering up the clients.

Q. What does it take for a lion to become a cannibal?
A. He must swallow his pride.

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Colorado locals know it's actually cannibal Alferd Packer because he just doesn’t have a taste for chicken meat.

Q. Why are obese people who have had gender reassignment surgery safe from cannibals?
A. Because trans fat is bad for your health.

Q. What do cannibal Teddy bears eat on Thanksgving?
A. Stuffing.

Cannibalized Joke of the Day: Did you hear about the cannibal scientist who perfected cloning? Now, he's full of himself.

Q. What do cannibal college students eat?
A. Raw-men.

Q. Why did the busy cannibal chef hire an assistant?
A. 'Cause he needed a hand with dinner.

Q. What is the name of the new dating site for cannibals?
A. Pleased to Meat You.

Q. What did the cannibal say in his defense during his murder trial?
A. Your Honor, if I am what I eat, I am an innocent man!

Q. How do you describe a cannibal hermit?
A. Fed up with people.

Q. Which kind of noodles to cannibals enjoy most?
A. Raw-men.

Q. What did the cannibal get when he came home, late to dinner?
A. The cold shoulder.

Did you hear about the new cannibal dating service? It's called: Trying to Meat You!

Q. What is it called when one ghost consumes another ghost?
A. Canni-boo-lism.

Meatless Diet Point to Ponder: Do cannibals on a healthy diet prefer vegans or vegetarians?

Q. How does a cannibal introduce himself?
A. "Hello, pleased to meat you!"

Q. What happens after a cannibal eats a librarian?
A. Readers Digest.

Judge: What do you have to say for yourself?
Cannibal Defendant: If you are what you eat, then I am the real victim here.

Q. Which kind of shampoo do cannibals like best?
A. Head and Shoulders.

Q. What sort of psychic do cannibals like best?
A. Medium rare.

Q. How can you tell your CPA is a cannibal?
A. He charges an arm and a leg...

Edgy TV News Reporter: What do elderly people taste like?
Cannibal: Depends.

Q. Which kind of cannibal only eats former military personeel?
A. A veteran-arian.

Q. What kind of appetizers do cannibals enjoy at parties?
A. Finger foods.

Sensational TV News Reporter: Do humans taste good?
Cannibal: It varies from person to person.

TV News Reporter: Do priests and ministers taste good?
Cannibal: It varies from parson to parson.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he dumped his wife?
A. Please pass the toilet paper.

Q. What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath after a big meal?
A. Men-toes.

Cannibal Pick Up Line: Hey girl, you look good enough to eat!

Toothless Grin of the Day: Old cannibals never die. They just go vegan.

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