What does a young witch use to cook up scary dinners and
frighteningly tasty desserts?
A. An Easy Bake Coven.
Which side dish do cannibals eat with
a fresh deli sandwitch?
Why did the mummy warn her kids not to eat uranium?
A. So they wouldn't get atomic-ache.
How do you know that a scary witch is on a diet?
A. All her meals are potion-controlled.
Tip of the Day: Nobody likes spoiled children, so be sure
to use airtight containers on Halloween.
What is this fly doing on my ice cream sundae?
Waiter: Sir, I believe it's skiing.
How do zombies prepare for tests?
A. By eating lots of brain food.
Where do zombies hunt for dinner?
A. In the living room.
Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A. No, they eat fingers separately.
What do little ghouls and goblins call stolen fudge brownies?
A. Hot Chocolate!
Why did the spirit of the blonde girl go on a diet right
A. 'Cause she wanted to keep her ghoulish figure.
What is a zombie's favorite dessert?
A. A handshake.
What is a cannibal's favorite dessert treat?
A. Lady Fingers.
What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he crossed a pig and
a hag sorceror in the desert?
A. A Ham Sandwitch.
There's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Couldn't be, sir. The chef used them all in the
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my taco.
Waiter: Yeah, they can't handle the spicy jalapenos.
There's a spider in this glass.
Waiter: Yes sir, it keeps the flies away.
Who's haunting the KFC across the street from the cemetery?
A. Some ghoulish comedian spoofing Colonel Sanders said
it was a poultry-geist.
Which vampire only eats junk food?
A. Count Snackula.
Can a mere mortal kill a monster by throwing eggs at him?
A. Yes, that is called egg-stermination!
What do you call a guy who is absolutely fed up with people
during the holidays?
A. A cannibal.
Waiter, there's a small slug in this salad.
Waiter: Sorry sir, would you like me to get you a larger
Waiter, there's a fly in the salsa.
Waiter at Chipotle: Oh, don't worry. The spider in your
taco will get him.
There's a cochroach on my steak.
Vegan Waiter: Yes sir, they don't seem to care what they
What does a cannibal call a stoner?
A. Pot Roast.
What is every cannibal's favorite proverb?
A. You are what you eat.