Q. What are a ghoul's favorite rides at the amusement park? A. The scary-go-round and roller ghoster!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What do you call a cleaning ghoul? A. The Grim Sweeper!
Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the dance? A. His ghoul friend!
Q. Why don't ghosts like rain on Halloween? A. It dampens their spirits!
Q. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? A. Wrap music!
Q. What is a vampire's lover called? A. His Ghoul Friend!


Witch Humor, Crafty Puns, Bewitching Jokes
4 out of 5 warlocks dispel witch jokes, hag humor, and covert coven puns in a clean sweep.

Witch Jokes, Laughing Spells, Wicca-d Witch Puns
(Because Toad Jokes and Warty Puns Are TOO Mainstream in the Witch Cauldron of Halloween Humor!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Killer curse humor, crafty witch jokes and spellbinding puns fly dead ahead.
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Q. What does a witch use to keep her hair up? A. Scare spray!Hellish Humor: I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.Q. Which is the most important subject in witch school? A. Spelling!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
A. Poetry in Potion.

Q. Why did The Witches lose their last baseball game?
A. 'Cause all their bats flew away!

Q. What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
A. Greenwitch Mean Time.

Q. What do you get if you cross a witch and a blizzard?
A. A cold spell!

Q. What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
A. One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!

Q. How can you tell if a witch is vegan?
A. There aren't any toads or eye of newt in her potions.

Q. What do you call a witch who uses illegal spells?
A. A hex offender!

Q. What do you call a witch's garage?
A. A Broom Closet.

Q. What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A. Ma-scare-a.

Q. What do you call two witches who share an apartment?
A. Broom mates!

Q. What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A. A sour puss.

Q. What do you call a witch who landed in poison ivy?
A. An Itchy Witchy.

Q. What does a girl witch use to bake cookies?
A. An Easy Bake Coven.

Q. What does a warlock farmer rap about?
A. Witches and hoes.

Witch Says: Happy Curse Day!Q. What do moms dress up as on Halloween? A. Mummies!Q. What do you eat for lunch on a haunted beach? A. A Sand-Witch!

Q. What is the problem with twin witches?
A. It's hard to tell which is witch.

Q. What happened to the naughty witch at school?
A. She was ex-spelled.

Q. What is the name of a witch with only one leg?
A. Eileen.

Q. What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
A. I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!

Q. What is a witch's favorite fitness slogan?
A. Burn Calories, Not Witches!

Q. What do witches do when they're tired?
A. They sit down for a spell.

Q. What bedtime story do little witches like?
A. Ghoul-di-locks and the Three Scares.

Q. How can you tell if a witch is carrying a time bomb?
A. You can hear her broom tick!

Q. What do you get if you cross a sorceress and a millionaire?
A. A very witch person.

Q. What do witches race on?
A. Vroomsticks!

Q. Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A. They're afraid they'll fly off the handle!

Q. What does a witch ask for at a hotel?
A. Broom service.

Q. What were the people who testified at the Salem Witch Trials called?
A. Witchnesses.

Q. What do you call an anxious witch?
A. Twitch.

Q. Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? A. It raises their spirits!Q. What do you get if you cross a witch with sand? A. A sandwich!Q. Which plant likes Halloween the most? A. Bam-Boo!

Q. What's worse than being a 600-pound witch on Halloween?
A. Being her broom.

Q. Which online resource do witches use often?
A. Wicca Pedia.

Q. What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
A. Charm bracelets.

Q. Why was the book of incantations useless?
A. 'Cause the author failed to do a spell check.

Q. What do you call a hag who likes the beach, but is afraid of the water?
A. A chicken sand witch.

Q. How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
A. All her food is potion-controlled.

Q. How does a scary hag tell time?
A. She looks at her witch watch.

Q. What is a witch's favorite part of school?
A. The spelling bee.

Witch Tip of the Day: Nobody likes spoiled children, so be sure to use airtight containers.

Q. What hobby do witches enjoy in their spare time?
A. Witch Crafts.

Q. Which song is played in covens?
A. Season of the Witch by Donovan.

Q. Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
A. Hex Support!

Q. Why are witches great computer programmers?
A. Because they always recurse.

Q. Why did a witch keep turning into Minnie Mouse?
A. She was having Disney spells.

Q. Why did the witch toss her broom into the washing machine?
A. She wanted to make a clean sweep.

Q. Why don't witches wear underwear?
A. So they get a better grip on their broomstick.

Q. Why did the monster's mother knit hm three socks for Halloween? A. He grew another foot!Q. Why do ghosts maek good cheerleaders? A. Because they have a lot of spirit!Q. What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost? A. Bam-Boo!

Q. Why did the witch travel on a broom?
A. The battery on her rechargeable vacuum cleaner was dead.

Q. How are witches and candles alike?
A. They're both wicked.

Q. What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A. She witch-hiked.

Q. What do you call a witch at the beach?
A. A Sand Witch!

Q. Why don't witches wear flat hats?
A. They see no point to it.

Q. Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
A. She heard they had great broom service!

Q. Why do witches wear name tags?
A. To tell which is witch.

Q. Why did the sloppy witch always get her incantations wrong?
A. She forgot to use spell-check.

Q. What do you call it when a witch becomes ill while on vacation?
A. Broom sick.

Q. Why was the witch fired from her job making potions?
A. Because she too easily flew off the handle.

Q. What's the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
A. You can't make broomstick pie.

Q. What kind of tests are witches given in school?
A. Hex-aminations.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch in the desert?
A. A Ham Sandwitch.

Q. What happens to a witch who doesn't travel well?
A. She gets broom sick.

Q. What do you call a witch that wins the lottery?
A. Wrich.

Nurse: Doctor Witchuralksi can see you now.
Patient: Which doctor?
Nurse: Oh, no. She's fully qualified.

Q. Why do witches only ride their brooms at night?
A. Because that's the best time to go to sweep.

Q. How can you make a Witch scratch her nose?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Which fairy-tale damsel had the magical power to negate formerly cast spells?
A. Rescind-erella.

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