Q. Why did the blonde take a nap on the toilet? A. Because it's in the rest room!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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ET Chef Asks: Why did the blonde chef shave the peaches? A. Because the recipe called for nectarines!
Q. What happened when Yeoman Rand said there was a peephole in her cabin door? A. Captain Kirk promised t look into it!
Big Ape Asks: Why did the idiot go broke? A. He had no cents!
Q. Why are vampires so easy to fool? A. Because they're suckers!

 


Light-Headed Humor, Blond Jokes, Air Head Puns
Comb on up for blonde humor highlights, dumb puns that think, and hairly funny jokes.

Blonde Jokes and Dumb Blonde Puns, Duh!
(Because Dumb Jokes Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Blondes, Especially on a Good Hair Day - Duh!)
Warning: Bleach at Your Own Risk! Dumb blonde humor, jokes to dye for, and teaser pun highlights ahead.
| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hair Jokes | 2
| High Fashion Humor | 2 | 3 | Shoe Jokes |

Blonde Borgs Have Same Fu!Did you hear about the blonde water polo player? Her horse drowned!Q. Why did a blonde go to the dentist? A. Because somebody dented her car!

Q. Why are most blonde jokes one liners?
A. So men will understand them!

Q. What does Bones McCoy say before blonde brain surgery?
A. Space, the Final Frontier.

A salesman approached a blonde and asked her if she'd like to buy a pocket calculator. The blonde replied, "No thanks, I already know how many pockets I have."

Did you hear about the topless bar that tried to have a Polka night? All the blonde accordianists kept getting hurt!

Q. Why did the blonde smack her camera with a frying pan?
A. She wanted a pan-o-ram-ic shot.

Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Leave a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Q. Why did the blonde only wear glasses while playing tennis?
A. Because tennis is a non-contact sport!

Q. Why did they stop doing the WAVE at Bronco's Stadium?
A. Too many blonde fans were drowning.

Q. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A. Spot.

Q. What do you call a fly buzzing in a blonde's head?
A. A space invader.

Two blondes were on a road trip to Denver. The sign said, "Denver Left," so they started crying and went home.

Nobody knew the blonde had a dental implant, until it came out in conversation.

Q. What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A. 144 blondes.

Q. What is it called when a blonde dyes her hair brown?
A. Artificial Intelligence!

Q. Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A. Peroxide.

Q. What do you call a group of blondes in one place?
A. A vacant lot.

Q. Why don't blondes take their phone into the bathroom? A. They don't want to share their IP address!Q. Why did the banker take the blonde teller into the vault? A. For Safe Sex!Chimp Asks: Why did the blonde put candles on the toilet seat? A. She was decorating for a surprise birthday potty!

Q. Why was the blonde just standing in the middle of the busy intersection?
A. The Walk sign changed to Don't Walk, so she just stopped.

Q. Why did the blonde nurse carry a pen with red ink?
A. Just in case she needs to draw blood.

Q. What do you call a brunette in the middle of two blondes?
A. An interpreter.

Q. Why did the blonde tailor have his eyes replaced with yarn balls?
A. Because he wanted fiber optics.

Q. What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A. A mental block!

Q. Why did the blonde go broke?
A. Because her head was full of not cents.

Q. What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Lock the door.

Q. What did the psychiatrist say to his blonde nurse?
A. "Please just say 'We're really busy," instead of 'It's a madhouse in here.'"

Q. If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A. The brunette because the blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q. Why did the blonde go outdoors with her purse open?
A. Because they predicted change in the weather.

Q. What did her dad say after the blonde handed him his 50th birthday card?
A. Thanks so much, but one would have been enough.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer get a brown cow?
A. She wanted chocolate milk.

Q. Where do blondes hold family reunions?
A. The vegetable patch.

Q. What did the blonde get on her SATs?
A. Nail polish.

Q. Why did the blonde take her bra off while watching a show at the comedy club?
A. Because she liked to laugh her straps off!

Q. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? A. She wanted to see butterfly.Q How many blindes does it take to change a light bulb? A. One, but she'll break ten bulbs before figuring out they can't be pushed int!Q. How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? A. Shine a light in her ear!

Q. Why was the blonde soprano standing outside the door?
A. She forgot the key.

Q. What do you call a really smart blonde?
A. A Golden Retriever.

Q. Why did the blonde try to steal a cop car?
A. She saw 911 on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

Q. Why did the blonde Broncos fan cross the road?
A. Somebody said, "Hey."

Q. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.

Q. Why did the blonde put her money in the freezer?
A. She wanted cold, hard cash!

Q. Why did the blonde baseball player put springs on his cleats?
A. Because he was getting ready for spring training!

Q. Why did the blonde return her new scarf?
A. It was too tight.

Q. Which job did the blonde have at the M&M factory?
A. Proof Reader.

Q. What is a blonde's fave retro band?
A. Air Supply.

Q. Why did a blonde woman go to the optician to return a pair of glasses she bought for her husband?
A. He still wasn't seeing things her way.

Q. Why did the blonde like the wording of her beau's wedding proposal?
A. Because it had a nice ring!

Q. How does a psychic refer to the blonde client?
A. Light reading.

Q. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A. For throwing away the Ws.

Police pick-up lines for blondes: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?Drinking riddle: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A. They're both empty from the neck up!Q. Why did the blonde smear peanut butter on the road? A. To go with the traffic jam!

Q. Why was the blonde hiding from exercise?
A. Because she was in the Fitness Protection Program.

Today's Workout Tip: Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you.
– Some Blonde, Duh!

Q. What happened to the suicide blonde?
A. She dyed by her own hand.

Q. What do you call six blondes standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.

Q. What do you call a blonde who has lost half of her intelligence?
A. Divorced.

How can you spot the blonde who drank an entire bottle of wine? She's the one dancing like a stripper...

Q. Why did the blonde snort Sweet'n Low?
A. She thought it was Diet Coke.

Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? Duh, she missed.

Q. What do you call a dozen blondes standing in a circle?
A. A Dope Ring!

Q. What is it called when a blonde guy blows in a blonde girl's ear?
A. Data Transfer.

Q. Why are there so few brunette jokes?
A. Because blondes have to think them up.

Q. Why did the blonde n the car with the wild paint job get pulled over?
A. The cops said it was a graphic violation.

Q. Why did the traffic lights flash yellow?
A. They were programmed by a blonde!

Q. What is one advantage of being with a blonde?
A. You can park in the handicap spot.

Q. How does a blonde measure IQ?
A. He holds a tire gauge to his ear.

Q. Why did 17 blondes stand outside the rave?
A. The sign read, "Must be 18 to Enter."

Q. How do you keep a blonde at home?
A. Build a circular driveway.

| Blonde Jokes | 2 | Hair Jokes | 2 | High Fashion Humor | 2 | 3 | Shoe Jokes |
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