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Toupee
Jokes, Wigged Out Puns, Hairpiece Humor
Comb
over for toupee shop puns, big wig humor, cheap rug LOLs and Hair Club
for Men jokes.
Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns, Rug Humor, Bald LOLs
(Because Hairpiece Puns and
Receeding Hairline Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream
When You're All Wigged Out!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Top secret toupee jokes, hair loss humor,
wig LOLs and hair plug puns ahead.
| Wig Jokes and Toupee Puns | Men's
Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Bad Hair Jokes,
Barber Puns | 2 |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns
| Blonde Jokes | 2
| Hipster Jokes | Hipster
Hookup Lines |
| Hat Jokes and Cap Puns | Shirt
Jokes | Pants Jokes | Sock
Puns | Shoe Jokes |
Fashion Jokes |
Q.
How did the balding guy keep his new toupee a secret?
A. He kept it under his hat.
Q.
How was the toupee shop burglary investigation going?
A. Cops have not found the stolen wigs, but they are still
combing the area.
Q.
Which toupee shop is haunted by ghosts?
A. The Great Hair After.
At
first, the guy's wife thought he spent for too much money
on a wig. But at second glance, it was a cheap price toupee.
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Q.
If you're feeling unattractive, why should you consider
buying a wig?
A. 'Cause that's a look anybody can pull off.
Q.
What did the wig say to the victim of a terrible hair cut?
A. Don't worry, I've got you covered.
Q.
What is it called when a blonde dons a brunette wig?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Wigged
Out Groan of the Day: A wig salesman suddenly left town.
Hair today, gone tomorrow. ..
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Q.
Do old execs at Hair Club for Men ever die?
A. No, they just keep plugging away.
Q.
How much did the bald guy expect a cheap hair piece to cost?
A. He wanted toupee faux dollars.
Wigged
Out Point to Ponder: If a little person walks up to you
at the office and tells you that your hair smells nice,
is that sexual harassment?
Q.
Why don't bald monks wear hair pieces?
A. Because there'd be hell toupee. |
Q.
What is the optimal true
definition
of a toupee?
A.
A
top secret.
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Q.
How do
wigs travel
abroad?
A.
They
fly on United
Hairlines.
|
Q.
What did the Secret Service call it when somebody stole
the President's wig?
A. A bald move.
Paitient:
Doc, today I woke up wearing a frizzy red wig, a red nose,
and some basketball player's shoes.
Shrink: It sounds like you slept funny.
Q.
What do you call a bad comb-over?
A. Hair-layer-ious!
Q.
Why shouldn't you taunt Satan about going bald?
A. 'Cause there'd surely be hell toupee. |
Q.
What did the cop say after a woman reported her wig was
stolen?
A. Yes Maam, we'll comb the area.
Q.
What did the man, who usually wore a toupee, do when he
wanted to relax?
A. He just let his hair down.
Q.
What happens when a kidnapper absconds with a cheap rug?
A. You'll have toupee a heady ransom to get it back.
Q.
Which kind of bird needs to wear a wig?
A. A Bald Eagle.
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Diner
Customer: Waiter, there is a hair in my soup.
Waiter: Sir, for $1.99, did you expect a whole wig?
Q.
What did the waiter at the Italian restaurant say when he
caught the bald guy puling a dine and dash?
A. You need a toupee.
Hairy
Point to Ponder: Do you call an antique wig-making machine
a family hair loom?
Q.
Which kind of hair piece can hear?
A. An earwig. |
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Q.
What do
you call
an antique toupee
weaver?
A.
An heirloom hair loom.
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Q.
What do you call an expensive wig that's held on with Velcro?
A. A real rip off!
Q.
What do small hair pieces call the owner of the Hair Club
for Men?
A. The big wig.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a wig with a spider?
A. A hair net.
Q.
What is it called when an office worker steals the CEO's
toupee?
A. A bald move. |
Q.
Why did the balding guy return the long-haired wig to the
expensive hair boutique?
A. Because it was just too much toupee.
Q.
Where is the best place to get a toupee in Shanghai, China?
A. The Hair Club for Min.
Q.
Why did a guy buy a little rug at Walmart?
A. 'Cause it was a cheap price toupee.
Q.
What does a bald elephant use as a toupee?
A. A few hares.
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Q.
What do you get when you cross a tornado with a wig?
A. A hair-icane.
Q.
What did Shakespeare write about wigs?
A. Toupee or not toupee. That is the question.
Q.
Why did the bald guy walk out of the wig shop empty handed?
A. 'Cause he forgot toupee.
Baldness
Factoid: Comments about receding hair lines tend to wear
a bit thin, except to the owner of Hair Club for Men.
|
Q.
What do
you call
a golf club
wearing
a wig?
A.
Hairy Putter.
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Q.
What
happens if a guy's hair
piece is lost?
A.
He'll have toupee for
a new one.
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Q.
Which kind of writing tool might you find in a wig shop?
A. A bald-point pen.
Wigged
Out Tip of the Day: There was an online ad for $10 hair
pieces? I'd say that's a small price toupee!
Wig
Shop Groan of the Day: It's a fact that you can't count
your hair. And, bald men will tell you that you can't count
on your hair, either.
Q.
Why don't bald guys wearing toupees get hot during the summer?
A. Because they use hair conditioners
Q.
Where do Colorado toupee fitters learn their trade?
A. At the U.S. Hair-force Academy.
Q.
What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. Gee thanks, I'll never part with it.
Patient:
My hair keeps falling out. Have you got anything to keep
it in?
Doctor: How about a cardboard box? |
Hairy
Point to Ponder: If a little person walks up to you and
tells you that your hair smells nice, is that the worst
pick-up line ever?
Q.
What did Hamlet contemplate when he began to lose his hair?
A. Toupee, or not toupee.
Q.
Why do wig salesmen like to travel up I70 and over Loveland
Pass in Colorado?
A. Because there are so many hair pin turns.
Q.
What is a bald guy wearing a dumb toupee called?
A. A hair brain.
Q.
What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backward outside
of a wig store?
A. A receding hare line.
Q.
Why do bald men always have holes in their pockets?
A. So they can run their fingers through their hair!
Q.
What did the broke banker say when he went bald?
A. Hair today, gone tomorrow.
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Q.
Why are some birds called Bald Eagles?
A. Because they don't wear wigs.
Q.
What do you call a wealthy online wig store entreprenuer?
A. A billion-hair.
Did
you hear about the guy whose hairline was so far back that
even archaeologists couldn't find it?
Q.
Which kind of insect wears a toupee?
A. An earwig.
Q.
Why did the bald guy put a rabbit on his head?
A. Because he wanted a head full of hare.
Q.
What did the cops do when a bunch of wig-wearing clowns
were terrorizing the town?
A. They combed the area.
Q.
Why don't bald men need keys?
A. Because they've lost all their locks.
Q.
Why did the bald guy go to drug rehab?
A. He had a serius hair-oin addiction. |
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Wig Jokes, Toupee Puns | Men's
Hair Jokes, Bald Puns | Bad Hair Jokes and
Barber Puns | 2 |
| Hair Salon Jokes and Stylist Puns
| Blonde Jokes | 2
| Hipster Jokes | Hipster
Hookup Lines |
| Hat Jokes and Cap Puns | Pants
Jokes, Trouser Humor | Fashion Jokes,
Clothing Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Shoe Jokes, Sole-ful Puns | Sock
Jokes, Hosiery Puns | Women's Fashion,
Ladies Apparel Puns |
| Fashion Designer Jokes | Colorado
Fashion | Shirt Jokes | Perfume
Puns | Salesman Jokes |
| Underwear Jokes, Ample Bra Puns,
and Brief Laughs | Eyeglasses Humor
| Furniture Jokes |
| Shopping Jokes, Sale Puns | Store
Jokes, Shop Puns | Grocery Store
Jokes, Supermarket Puns |
| Groaner Jokes | Daily
Groans | Money Jokes | Colorful
Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | Travel
Jokes |
You've
covered this much, so go a
head and comb over
for more hairy jokes,
humor highlights, and top
secret painful puns that'll surly wig
you out:
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More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
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Actor Jokes | Air
Travel Jokes | Beer Jokes | Bird
Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Face
Jokes | Fit Puns | Golf
Jokes |
| Halloween Jokes | Hare
Jokes | Insect Jokes | Mane
Jokes | Manly Man Jokes | Police
Puns | Psychic Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Shrink
Puns | Sports Jokes | Undercover
Jokes | Wookiee Jokes |
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