Did you hear about the archer's new cologne? It was arrow-matic!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. Which kind
of rodent
wears earthy

A. A muskrat.


Q. Why did
the Avon lady's kid bring
perfume to

A. For show
and smell


Q. Which fashionable
pig always

A. Calvin Swine.


Scented Jokes, Perfumed Puns, Deodorant Humor
Sniff out perfume jokes, cologne humor, non-scents LOLs and a phew funny fragrance puns.

Perfume Jokes, Cologne Puns, Fragrance Humor
(Because Common Scents Jokes and Scents-Less Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream At the Perfume Counter!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Musky toilet water jokes, deodorized humor, and eau-ful perfume puns ahead.
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Q. What's the name of th Star Wars film where perfume bottles invade and wreak havoc? A. Attack of the Colognes!

Q. Why are
there so
phew funny

A. 'Cause most
of them stink.

Women who wear $200 perfume obviously don't have common scents.

Q. What was the new guy's job title at the men's cologne counter?
A. Front and Scenter.

Stinking Funny Point to Ponder: When taking a test to become a perfume shop's cologne sniffer, does smelling count?

Q. How much damage was there after the perfume manufacturing plant expoded?
A. The olfactory blew up!

Q. What did the new guy at the men's cologne counter say about his new gig?
A. This job really stinks!

Q. Why did the retired perfume chemist end up in the mental hospital?
A. 'Cause he stopped making scents.

Q. What is the name of the new fragrance for introverts?
A. Leave Me The Fuh Cologne.

Q. Why did Coco Chanel get a restraining order against Calvin Kline?
A. 'Cause of his Obsession.

Q. What's the name of the newest cologne made by an Elon Musk company?
A. Space-Axe Body Spray.

Q. Why did the guy who never wore cologne start wearing musk?
A. 'Cause the guy at the perfume counter knocked some scents into him.

Q. Why couldn't the guy buy perfume from the vending machine?
A. 'Cause it was out of odor.

Q. Why did the guy buy a DIY perfume-making kit as a gift for his wife?
A. It seemed to make scents.

Q. What can you do when you're bored with Chanel No. 9?
A. Just change the Channel.

Q. Which
rapper wears way, way
too much

A. 50 Scent.

Q. Why did a woman donate a pair of perfumes to the charity drive? A. She wanted to put in her two scents!

Q. What do
you call
perfume with
no fragrance?

A. None

Q. What do the French call it when an American tourist wears too much perfume?
A. Eau-ver-load.

Q. Which fragrance is universally preferred by millennials?
A. The Scent of Entitlement.

Q. What can you say to that maniac at the department store who wants to spray you with cheap French toilet water?
A. Eau No!

Q. Why did the factory that manufactured perfume bottles shut down?
A. 'Cause it made no scents.

Q. What did the perfume company call their new fragrance that captures the very aroma of paradise?
A. Heaven Scent.

Q. What is it called when perfume companies spread across the world?
A. Cologne-ialism.

Q. Which cologne will the new generation of American astronauts wear?
A. Elon Musk.

Stinking Funny Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, do you work at the perfume counter? 'Cause I believe in love at first scent.

Q. What is the name of the perfume that features that new Tesla smell?
A. Elon Musk.

Blonde: I always use one deodorant in my right arm pit and a different deodorant in my other pit.
Gal Pal: Why?
Blonde: 'Cause that's just my two scents,

Stinking Funny Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you wearing perfume? Or, is that just love in the air?

Q. Why do some people work at fragrance factories?
A. Because it makes s-cents.

Q. How much money does a skunk have? A. One Cent!

Q. What's the name of the
new perfume
made with
holy water?

A. Eau My God.

Q. What do you call a fairy using the toilet? A. Stinker Bell!

Q. What's the name of the perfume company that creates fragrances for the everyman?
A. Common Scents.

Q. What did the duck say to the guy at the perfume counter?
A. Please put it on my bill.

Q. Why did the blonde hire a bloodhound to track down her lost bottle of expensive French perfume?
A. That just made scents.

Q. How many department store perfume sampler guys does it take to make a really big stink?
A. A Phew!

Q. What happened after the altar boy hit the priest with a perfume burner during Mass?
A. The priest was incensed.

Q. What did the nun who is also an Avon lady say when she rings the doorbell?
A. Let us spray.

Q. Why can't perfume counter clerks keep a secret?
A. Because somebody is always catching wind of them.

Q. Which cologne do rocket scientists at SpaceX wear on the job?
A. Musk by Elon.

Q. What happens after you spray orange-scented air freshener into your toilet?
A. Then it smells like shitrus.

Q. How does the new thought-controlled air freshener work?
A. It only makes scents when you think about it.

Q. What do you say to the guy at the perfume counter who wants to spritz you with expensive French toilet water?
A. Oui, Oui!

Q. Why did the girl quit her job working behind the perfume counter?
A. It just made cents.

Q. What's the
opposite of
a stink-bug?

A. A

Q. Why did the vampire need mouth wash? A. Because he had bat breath!

Q. Why did
the blonde

jury find Ester
not guilty?

A. 'Cause Ester
is in a scent.

Q. What's the name of the new men's antiperspirant deodorant line inspired by race car drivers?
A. Pit Stop!

Q. Wanna hear a B.O. joke?
A. Never mind. It really stinks...

Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.

Stinking Funny Fact of the Day: The Incredible Hulk does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away!

Male Customer: I'm looking for a new deodorant.
Store Clerk: The ball type?
Customer: No! The kind that goes on your pits.

Q. What is the new men's deodorant called Umpire used for?
A. Fowl balls.

Q. Why was the blonde's year end resolution to stop using spray deodorant?
A. 'Cause she wanted to roll in the new year.

Q. What happened to the guy who accidentally sprayed cologne in his mouth?
A. Now he has a bad Axe accent.

Q. What kind of aftershave does a suave and debonair Denver Lodo Bigfoot use?
A. Brute!

Q. Which mad scientist cooked up a scary new men's cologne in a laboratory in Transylvania?
A. Stankenstein.

Q. What's the difference between a man wearing too much cheap body spray and Sasquatch?
A. One is covered in matted hair and smells bad; the other has big feet.

Q. How is the new bruin scent men's cologne like being lost in the woods without any beer?
A. Both are absolutely un-bearable!

Q. Why didn't the guy tell his wife that he was using her deodorant?
A. 'Cause it's a Secret.

Q. Which kind of deodorant do executioners wear?
A. Axe.

Q. What charges were brought against the hobo theif who was caught stealing fine perfume?
A. A fragrant violation of the law.

Q. What happened when the boutique perfume store was robbed?
A. The stinking theives took every last scent.

Q. What are cops calling the criminal who sprays people with deodorant fatally injuring them?
A. An Axe murderer.

Q. Why should you invest in perfume company stock?
A. It just makes scents.

Q. What do you get if you cross a Star Wasr bot and a clerk at the perfume counter?
A. R2-PU.

Q. Why didn't the cologne counter clerk call home when he had to work late in 1990?
A. 'Cause the phone was out of odor!

Q. Wanna hear a musk oil joke?
A. Never mind. It really stinks... and it's even older than that last perfume joke was.

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You've sniffed out the grins, so here's even more scents-able humor,
out of odor jokes and musk-see painful puns that are a breath of fresh air:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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