Gorilla Says: Money can't buy you happiness but, it does make misery a lot more pleasant!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. How much money does a skunk have? A. One Cent!
Did you hear about the frugal barber? He opened a shavings account!
Hard Working Gnome Makes Gnome ¢
Ape Asks: Why did the banker count his money with his toes? A. So it wouldn't run through his fingers!

 


Money Jokes, Cents Humor, Penny Ante Puns
Chip in for penny ante laughs, no non-cents humor, cents-ual puns, and exact change jokes.

Cents Jokes, Penny Puns, Cents-Less Humor
(Because A Penny For Your Thoughts Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Blonde Coin Collectors!)
Warning: Invest at Your Own Risk! Token laughs, coiny jokes, cents-less humor and pretty penny puns ahead.
| Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 | Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, and Money Funny! |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Big Ape Asks: Why did the idiot go broke? A. He had no cents!Two coins meet. 1st coin says, "Hi, I'm 5 Cents." 2nd coin replies, "I'm 5 Cents too, what a coin-cidence!"Gorilla Asks: Why are hermits always penniless? A. Because they're loaners!

Funny Money Question: Would it be too much to ask for these Painful money jokes to be good for a change?

Q. Why did the blonde toss out all her new pennies?
A. Because they were a new-cents.

Q. Why are piggy banks so wise?
A. 'Cause they're filled with common cents.

Money Point to Ponder: Why do they call it cash cow? 'Cause that sounds like utter non-cents.

Cents-ical Money Trivia: Interest has such accrual way of accumulating.

Q. If every coin has a job, what would the cent's job be?
A. Accountant, because every penny counts.

Q. How are fake people like pennies?
A. Both are two-faced and not worth a dime.

Q. When was the Buffalo Nickel finally replaced?
A. Only after the mint approved the exact change.

Q. Why did the blonde go broke?
A. Because her head was full of not cents.

Q. Which cents-less joke does Will Robinson's sister really hate?
A. A penny for your thoughts.

Q. What happened after a cat swallowed a coin?
A. There was money in the kitty.

Q. Why was the blonde broke?
A. 'Cause some guy said, "A penny for your thoughts."

Q. What did one penny say to another? A. Money jokes are priceless. That's my two cents worth!What you can buy for a dollar these days is absolute non-cents!Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A. They're always a little short!

Q. What is a rare penny collector's favorite breakfast cereal?
A. Wheaties.

Q. Why don't dogs like gambling or being in debt?
A. In for a penny, in for a pound.

Q. What did the sheep say when she found a penny on the street?
A. That's better than mutton!

A fortune teller told a guy that he'd come into big money one day. Now, he's married to his over-weight wife named, Penny.

Q. What do you call a mint employee who sky dives on the weekends?
A. Penny from heaven.

Q. Which numismatic jokes are the worst?
A. The ones that make no cents!

Cents-Less Crime of the Day: People who rob banks and jewelry stores are pretty bad. But, thieves who rob bakeries really take the cake!

Q. How much did the crabby food critic tip the waiter?
A. Two cents.

Q. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.

Q. Why did the psychic turn a client down?
A. 'Cause she was only offered a penny for her thoughts.

Q. What did the pocket change say to the dollar bill?
A. You make no cents.

Q. What did the restaurant call its promotional offering of one-cent noodles?
A. Penny Pasta.

Ape Asks: Why did the banker count his money with his toes? A. So it wouldn't run through his fingers!Q. What's brown, has a head and tail, but no legs? A. A Penny!Q. What did one penny say to another? A. Let's get together and make some cents!

Cheap Point to Ponder: Do bad pennies end up in a penitentiary?

Q. Why don't some people understand jokes about Pennywise?
A.Because they couldn't get It.

Q. What do you call an indigenous person who can't stop putting in his two cents?
A. Opinion-native.

Q. Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill along with the nickel?
A. Because the quarter had more cents!

Q. Why should you visit the US Mint in Denver?
A. It just makes cents.

Q. What did the scientist say after putting a penny under a microscope?
A. Truly magnificent.

Q. What happened when a penny and a nickel got fused together and haunted?
A. The new coin had the sixth cents.

Q. What did the coin say to the token?
A. Fare enough, but you make no cents.

A guy tossed a penny down the well and made a wish … that the police would never find Penny's body.

Q. Do you want to hear another money pun?
A. Never mind, it makes no cents.

Q. Where do you phone the man with a head full of change?
A. Headquarters.

Q. What happened to the toddler who swallowed the pennies?
A. The ER reports there's no change yet...

Gorilla Says: If robbers break into my house to search for money, I'd just laugh and search along with them!The winds of change ae raining coins of copper, nickel, and silver!Gorilla Says: Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back!

Q. Why did the grandpa pull out his coin collection again, after all these years?
A. For old dimes sake.

Attorney: My client is clearly trapped in a penny.
Judge: Say, what?
Attorney: He is in a cent.

Meagar Financial Wisdom: When you are poor, always spend your money wisely because it's common sense.

Q. Why don't elitist snobs like pennies?
A. Because it's common cents.

Q. Why did the student swallow all his pennies?
A. The teacher said he needed more sense.

Q. What did the coin maker say about his found penny after he dropped it?
A. It just a little tender.

Q. What did the quarter say to the slug in the coin slot?
A. You make no cents.

Q. What do you call a guy with a mind full of change?
A. Headquarters.

Cents-Less Laugh of the Day: Why did the barista get so angry when the guy knocked over her container of cash and coins? After all, the sign said: tip jar.

Q. How much money does a skunk have?
A. Just one scent!

Q. Why did the Denver Mint hire a bloodhound?
A. That just made s-cents.

A guy's wife thought he needed money, so she transferred some to him. Yeah, she just put her two cents in, again, and again…

| Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 | Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, and Money Funny! |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| On the Job Jokes | Police Puns | Criminal Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Painful Groaner Jokes |

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