nurse awakens the patient and says, "Wake up Mr. Jones.
It's time for you to take your sleeping pills."
What happens when the guy took both Ambien and Viagra before
going to bed?
A. He had a long hard sleep.
crusty old doctor did have a nasty, and callous bedside
manner. But, he did mean well.
Point to Ponder: When a doctor prescribes medicine and bed
rest, is that considered aiding and abedding?
Doc, I just can't fall asleep at night.
Doctor: Have you tried counting sheep?
Accountant: Yes, that's the problem. I make a mistake and
then spend all night trying to find it.
guy had a photographic memory that never developed... Orange
you glad he woke up? That dream blue his mind.
Doc, I'm having nightmares about a massive void.
Shrink: Don't worry. It's nothing.
man tells his shrink that he's having recurring dreams.
One night he's a tepee and the next he's a wigwam... The
shrink replied, "I think you're too tents."
What do you call a sticky nightmare about swimming in an
ocean of orange soda?
A. A Fanta Sea.
How do you know you've had the best Friday night you could?
A. 'Cause you can sleep in as late as you want to or need
to on Saturday morning!
Where does a burger get a good night's sleep?
A. On a bed of lettuce!
Morning Pick-Up Line: Is
your name Dawn? 'Cause pinch me, I must be dreaming.
Why was the Olympic runner still in bed?
A. He was fast asleep.
you hear about the accountant who counted sheep in bed?
He made a miscount in the first hour and stayed awake all
night trying to figure it out.
How do sheep fall asleep?
A. By counting humans.
Why did the farmer fire the corn?
A. For sleeping on the cob.