Seven Day Without a Pun ... Makes One Weak - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Painful Holiday Puns & Festive Jokes
(Because Typical Holiday Gatherings Are Too Mainstream, and usually not Funny)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Random Merry or Happy Whatever...
Q. What is a gnome's favorite Xmas carol? A. Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare Tree

Gnome Holiday Riddle:
Q. What's an elf's fave holiday refrain?
A. Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!

Bullseye on online holiday shopping, but how do you wrap all those slippery plastic bags on Xmas Eve?

Almost as good as a paper Xmas card: When vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

If you get a gift basket from a psychiatrist, it'll probably be shrink wrapped.What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A Rash of Good LuckYou look so sweet that you're giving me a cavity!

Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A. Because the P is silent.

Q. Why did the gardener leave the store without a new shovel?
A. Because he didn't have enough cabbage.

Halloween Pick Up Line is so sick on so many levels, that zombies must have already gotten to the brain?

I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.Hey Gnirl, Please Brie My Valentine?Cheesy Pun - To my sweetheart: My cooking got so much better since I fondue!

No Shave Nobember, NoShaveBer Listing on eBay:
"For sale. Incredible Hulk T-shirt. Usual wear and tear."

Cheesy pick up line for VD Day: Love is in the air, or is that Brie?

Q. Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese?
A. Because she was getting Feta and Feta.

I must be Swiss? 'Cause without you there's a hole in my heart!Excuse me, could you please empty your pockets? I believe you've stolen my heart!Scary Pick-Up Line: Hey Gnirl, I Dig You!

Cheddar luck next time... Swiss chocolate makes holidays magical, not more cheese!

Happy Birthday, Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, Halloween, Xmas, Wednesday, Chocolate Day...

A VD Day pick up line that only a cop could get away with – unless the gnomette was a real siren!

Deadly Funny Valentine: Clean and simple zombie come-ons do cut to the bone.

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You've lasted this far, so here's even more holiday cheer,
festive humor, and occasionally painful puns to make your day

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