Q. What is an elephant's favorite sport? A. Squash.   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Painful Punts, Coached Jokes, Sports Humor
Play along with our funny sports memes, sporty humor, and good sport jokes!

Sports Puns, Team Jokes, Athlete Riddles
(Because Lists of Serious Sports Stats Are Too Mainstream)
Warning: Coaches, proceed at your own pace. Good sportsmanship ahead...
I used to be a marathon runne, but couldn't stand the agony of de feet.Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!Just Say Gnome to Steroids!

Q. What kind of socks does Hulk wear to plant spinach? A. Garden hose.

Q. What is a runner's favorite subject in school? A. Jog-raphy!

Q. Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? A. Because education pays off in the long run!

Q. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the team? A. Because she ran away from the ball!  

Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach? A. A Pythong!

Q. Why was the pig ejected from the football game? A. For playing dirty.

Q. Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? A. The tackle shop.

Q. Why did the offensive lineman with a concussion go to the bank? A. To get his quarterback!

Gnome doubt steroids are bad!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bodybuilder and a peeping Tom? A. Amazing Peeks

My struggle with sterods has only made me stronger...

Q. What do you call a donkey on steroids? A. Ass-teroid.

Q. How does a physicist exercise? A. By pumping ion!

Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs!Q. What kind of cheese likes to shoot hoops? A. Swish Cheese!Gnome Swimming Allowed. Paparazzi: *Shudder* NOT Shutter.

And, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.

Q. Why did the pastry chef hire a pitcher? A. Because he knew how to handle the batter.

Q. Why did the cops go to the baseball game? A. Because they heard somebody was stealing a base.

Q. What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player? A. Babe Root.

Super new show about basketball: Hooper Natural

Q. What did March say about all the madness? A. What's all that bracket?

Q. What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks? A. Alley Whoops.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? A. Because it heard the referee was blowing fowls.

Do gnomes really have to advertise so aggressively for photo ops?

Q. What's tennis players favorite city? A. Volley Wood!

Q. Why Was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player? A. She had a pumpkin for a coach! 

Q. How do fish go into business? A. They start on a small scale!

Q. What tea do hockey players drink? A. Penaltea!

Strong aging cheese failed to medal at the olympics, because it tripped at the final curdle.Gnome Fishing Allowed!Marathon runners with bad footwear, suffer the agony of da feet.

Q. What are cheese puffs made of? A. Wotsit matter.

Q. What lights up a soccer stadium? A. A soccer match!

Q. Why do grasshoppers not attend many football matches? A. They prefer cricket matches!

Gnome fishing for what?

Q. What do you call a small fish magician? A. A magic carpet

Q. Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? A. Just for the halibut!

Q. What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? A. "You bass-tard!"

Marathon pun readers suffer in agony, as well. Ouch!

Q. Why did Dracula quit the baseball team? A. They only let him be "BAT" boy!

Q. How do you know if you have a female umpire? A. She remembers the details of every single argument, and will also bring up arguments from previous games.

New record set by gnome worthy athleteSign on a Hacker's Door: "Gone Phishing"Championship Game at the Astro Gnome

Gnomes are good sports and strive for pun perfection.

Q. Why did the skydiving club disband? A. Because they had a falling out.

Q. What does a carpenter have in common with a top volleyball player? A. They both like to hammer spikes.

Q. What part of a sports arena is never the same? A. The changing rooms!

Q. What did the fisherman say to the card magician? A. Take a cod, any cod.

Q. What did one redneck say to another? A. I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife… Best trade I ever made!

Q. What do fish and women have in common? A. They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!

Q. What does the pope eat during lent? A. Holy mackerel!

Indoor gnome sports just don't have the same air.

Q. What did they call Dracula when he won the league? A. The champ-ire!

Q. Which insect didn't play well at quarterback? A. The fumble bee!

Q. Why didn't the dog want to play football? A. It was a boxer!


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