Sports bar joke: A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out! - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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The bodybuilder knew he was in love after experiencing strong feelings!
The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs!
Q. Which insect never plays quarterback? A. The Fumble Bee!
Q. Why did the gym close down? A. It just wasn't working out!

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes? A. in case he gets a hole in one!


Sports Jokes, Athlete Humor, Painful Punts
Play along with winning sports puns, sporty humor, and good sport jokes that score big laughs.

Sports Humor, Winning Puns, Coached Jokes
('Cause Pro Sports Stats Are Common. Jock Humor and Athletic Supporter Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Coaches, Proceed According to Rules! Pun violations, sports jokes, and good sportsmanship ahead.
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| Baseball Jokes | Basketball Humor | Bodybuilder Puns | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing Jokes |
| Camping and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness LOLs | Golf Jokes | Gym Jokes | Gym Flirts |
| Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes | Running Jokes | Scary Sports Puns | Snow Skiing Jokes |
| Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns | Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Puns | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Denver Broncos! | Colorado Sports Humor | Water RecreationH umor |

I used to be a marathon runne, but couldn't stand the agony of de feet.Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!Just Say Gnome to Steroids!

Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!

Q. What did the hotdog say when it won the marathon?
A. I'm a Wiener!

Q. How do insanely fast runners go through the forest?
A. They take the psychopath!

Q. What is the creepiest thing about joggers?
A. They're always the ones who discover the dead body.

Q. What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
A. Running mates.

Q. What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
A. The stink eye.

Q. Why did the coach lecture the locker room vending machine at halftime?
A. He wanted his quarter back.

Q. What was Dracula's title after he won out over his bloody stiff sportsman competitors?
A. The Champ-ire!

Q. Why didn't the dinosaur go to the gym?
A. 'Cause he did not believe in the survival of the fittest. OUCH!

Q. What do you call a high-ranking military officer taking part in a multi-game sports contest?
A. A tourney general.

Q. What do you call a pro boxer who pouts after being badly beaten?
A. A sore loser.

Q. How does a physicist exercise?
A. By pumping ion!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bodybuilder and a peeping Tom?
A. Amazing Peeks.

Q. What do you call a spaced-out donkey on steroids?
A. Ass-teroid.

Q. Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
A. The Reds!

Q. Which kind of sports league is made up solely of poets?
A. Semi-prose.

Q. Why is it hard to miss the pumped up muscleman standing over there?
A. Because he's burly recognizable.

Good Sport Tip of the Day: If anabolic steroids cause erectile dysfunction, just say NO to drugs!

Q. What lights up a soccer stadium? A. A soccer match!Q. Why didn't the dog want to play football? A. He was a Boxer!Q. Why aren't fish good tennis players? A. They don't like getting close to the net!

Q. What are successful kickers always trying to achieve?
A. Real goals!

Q. Why don't grasshoppers attend many soccer games?
A. They prefer cricket matches!

Q. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
A. Because she ran away from the ball! 

Goalie Fact of the Day: Soccer is 90% mental. The other half is physical. Yeah, the head took another hit today, and I'm not talking about weed.

Q. What is a ghost soccer player's best position?
A. Ghoulie.

Q. How is a bad soccer team like a worn-out old bra?
A. No cups and little support.

Q. What do you get when you cross a running back and the Invisible Man?
A. Scoring like no one has ever seen!

Q. Why was a tiny ghost invited to play on the football squad?
A. They needed a little team spirit.

Q. Why didn't the crappy NFL football team have a website?
A. 'Cause they couldn't manage three Ws in a row.

Q. Why do some football players scuba dive during the off season?
A. 'Cause they like to go deep.

Q. When should football players wear armor?
A. Only when they play knight games.

Q. What happens right before old football players die?
A. They go into the end zone.

Q. Why were the pro tennis player's neighbors so upset?
A. Because she always made such a big racquet.

Q. How can you tell your tennis opponent isn't happy with your serve?
A. He keeps returning it!

Did you hear about the tennis ball and battery that got into a fight? The battery was charged and the tennis ball is waiting to go to court.

Q. Which sport are waiters really good at?
A. Tennis, because they're such great servers.

Q. Why do tennis players have low self esteem?
A. Because they have so many faults.

Q. Why do some people dislike tennis?
A. Because it's a wacky sport.

Strong aging cheese failed to medal at the olympics, because it tripped at the final curdle.A guy at the gym fell off the treadmill because he wasn't exercising caution!Marathon runners with bad footwear, suffer the agony of da feet.

Q. What do you call commercials shown during the summer and winter global games?
A. Olympi-ads.

Q. Who authorred the new book, How To Win the Olympics?
A. Vic Torry.

Q. Why couldn't the olympian listen to music?
A. Because he broke the record!

Q. Who wrote the winning new book titled, The Olympic Trials?
A. Will Lee Qualify.

Q. Why won't Cinderella ever medal at the Olympics?
A. She has a pumpkin for a coach, plus she runs away from the ball.

Q. Why wasn't sunbathing a sport in ancient Greece?
A. 'Cause the best you could get is a bronze.

Q. Why did the Olympian put her gold medals on display before the rest?
A. First things first.

Gym Pick-Up Line: You must be a track star because you've been running through my mind all day!

Q. What do you call guys who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons.

The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money.

Workout Wisecrack: Remember, your brain needs exercise, too. So, spend lots of time thinking up excuses not to work out.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, let's do lunge!

Did you realize that Dr. Frankenstein was actually the first bodybuilder?

Q. Which extreme sports adventure author never finished writing the book, My Last White River Rafting Trip?
A. Watt R. Fall.

Q. Which extreme sport do pumpkins enjoy?
A. Bungee-gourd jumping.

Marathon pun readers suffer in agony, as well. Ouch!

Q. What did the blonde runner drink when she was in last place?
A. Ketchup.

Did you hear about the blonde marathon runner who ran for an hour, but only ran two feet? Well, Duh! She only had two feet!

Q. Who was the absolute fastest runner of all time?
A. Adam. He was the first in the human race.

Q. Why did the fencer lose to his rival again?
A. He was foiled again.

Q. How did the acupuncturist heal the wounded fencer?
A. With an epee cure.

Q. Do old archers ever die?
A. No, but sometimes they bow and quiver.

Q. What is a foot surgeon's favorite Olympic sport?
A. Arch-ery.

Q. What did the dentist say to the hockey player? A. You have nice even teet. Unfortunately, you're missing 1, 3, and 5!Gnome Fishing Allowed!Golf ball says: If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt!

Q. Why was the magician such a great hockey player?
A. Because he always had a hat trick!

Q. Why do hockey player work in bakeries during the off season?
A. Because they're great at icing!

Q. What do angry hockey players say after getting tripped?
A. No More Mister Ice Guy!

Q. What does a skeleton drive into a hockey game?
A. The Zam-Bony!

Old hockey players never die, they just achieve their final goal.

Q. Why don't zombies play hockey?
A. They're cold-hearted, but they jost don't have the brains for it.

Gnome fishing? For what?

Q. Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
A. Just for the halibut!

Q. What do romantic fishermen sing on a romantic date?
A. Salmon Chanted Evening...

Q. What is a trout's main goal?
A. To keep his daughter off the pole.

Q. What do you call a small fish magician in a fish bowl?
A. A magic carpet.

Old daredevils never die. They just get discouraged.

Q. What was the favorite sport of singer and bandleader Rudy?
A. Vallee-ball.

Q. Why did the guy who stinks at golf still play every weekend?
A. To bug his wife; she thinks he's out having fun.

Q. What's the difference between driving in golf and driving a car?
A. When you're driving a car, you don't want to hit anything.

Q. How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

Q. Why do golfers hate the game Hearts?
A. Because all they ever get are Clubs!

Q. What is a bat's favorite court sport?
A. Batminton.

Q. Why don't they play cricket in China?
A. 'Cause somebody would eat the bat.

| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |
| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Camping Puns and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes |
| Gym Jokes and Workout Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gym Flirts | Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes |
| Running Jokes, Jogger Puns | Scary Sports | Snow Skiing Jokes | Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns |
| Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes | Water Recreation Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Colorado Sports Humor |

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