Bear says: You might be from Colorado if you always dress in lairs! - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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You might be from Colorado if it snows two feet and you don't expect school to be canceled!
You might be from Colorado if you know what the Continental Divide is!
You might be from Colorado if you always know what the elevation is, no matter where you are!
Q. What did the little montain say to the big mountain? A. Hi Cliff!
Colorado Wisdom: If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes, and don't stand on top of a mountain during a thunder storm!
You might be from Colordo if you actually know South Park is a real place and not just a TV show!
You might be from Colorado if you say "The Interstate" and everybody know which one!
Q. What do Yeti call thwir offspring? A. Chill-dren!


Skier Jokes, Skiing Humor, Ski Slope Puns
Run with ski puns, peak Colorado skiing grins, cool Sno-Cat jokes and skier snow 'n tell humor.

Downhill Skiing Jokes, Ski Bum Puns, Skier Humor
(Because Slippery Skier Jokes and Ski Area Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream On Colorado Ski Slopes!)
Warning: Schuss With Caution! Skiing jokes, ski bum humor, cold laughs and skier puns that go downhill ahead.
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You might be from Colorado if you've seen this guy skiing on Peak Nine!Q. What is a locksmith's favorite winter sport? A. Skiiing!Which Colorado14-er should you climb is you can't make a decision? Quandary Peak!

Q. How many Colorado ski bums does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Ski bums don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs.

Q. Why did the stock broker go to Vail?
A. He wanted to meet up with the big moguls.

Q. What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
A. There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.

Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Area.
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?

Bummer Ski Joke of the Day: After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.

Q. How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"

Q. What do you call heels on ski boots?
A. Ski lifts.

Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.

Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?

Q. Who do locksmiths try to avoid while skiing in Colorado?
A. The Keystone Cops at A-Basin.

Q. How do Colorado skiers correct their mistakes?
A. With Whiteout!

Q. Why are the Colorado ski slopes so funny?
A. Because they're hill areas!

Q. Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
A. Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.

Q. Why do Colorado cows like to ski at Aspen?
A. Because of all the moo-guls.

Q. How did the blind guy go skiing in Colorado?
A. He brought along his skiing-eye dog.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.

Q. What kind of parties do Colorado skiers attend?
A. Snow Balls!

Q. Which Colorado ski rea do locksmiths prefer? A. Keystone!You might be from Colorado if you think a blizzard in May is totally normal!You might be from Colorado if you friend asks your plans for today's hike and you summit up nicely!

Q. What do you call a Colorado skier who tells tall tales?
A. A snow fake.

Q. Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
A. She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.

Classic Colorado Locksmith Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, let's meet up at Keystone for a run down the slope.

Q. Why are some Colorado skiers unpleasant while they're up on the ski lift?
A. Because they're always looking down on you!

Q. What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
A. It's been all downhill from there.

Colorado Snow Mitigation LOL of the Day: We need to prevent a massive snow slide from letting go on Loveland Pass. But we're all hungry so let's avalanche first.

Q. What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
A. Polaroids!

Q. Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
A. He hurt his ski bum.

Q. Why does AARP endorse skiing in Colorado?
A. 'Cause once you're over 50, it's all downhill from there. OUCH!

Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.

Q. Why was the Colorado black diamond skier taken to the hospital?
A. Because he bruised his ski bum.

Q. What do you call a very slow skier?
A. A slope-poke.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.

Q. What do Colorado skiers like in their breakfast bowl?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What is a Colorado skier's mantra?
A. There's snow place like home!

Q. Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
A. He led the race from start to Finnish.

Never go hiking with a serial killer in Colorado! Just give hm free reign on the psycho path!You might be from Colorado if you'd rather run with the squatch, than run away!Ape says: I bought a pair of hiking boots in Colorado from a drug dealer! I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!

Q. What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
A. Ice Ski.

Q. Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill?
A. The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.

Q. Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
A. 'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.

Q. Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
A. He found out his wife is a real flake.

Q. Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
A. Because it's a slippery slope.

Q. Why does toilet paper like alpine skiing on Colorado slopes?
A. That's the fastest way to the bottom.

Q. What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
A. It knocked him out cold!

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.

Q. If you're telemark skiing the Colorado slopes and find a fork in the ski run, what should you do?
A. Stop for lunch!

Skiing Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the Colorado skier who broke his left arm and left leg in a collision with a SnoCat? He's all right now.

Hotdog Skier Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you like backflips? 'Cause I'm going head over heels for you.

Q. What is a Colorado locksmith's favorite winter sport?
A. Skiing!

Q. What do frogs do when they ski?
A. They rip it.

Q. Why should you always invite a skier to Thanksgiving dinner?
A. They're good at carving.

Q. How do you know when a Vail ski instructor walks into the bar?
A. Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Q. What do residents of Breckenridge, Colorado sing in December?
A. 'Tis the season to ski jolly.

Q. What did the Colorado telemark skier say when he unexpectedly ran out of weed?
A. Dude, these bindings really suck.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, stick with me and you won't have to ski black diamonds any more 'cause you'll be wearing them!

Wookie says: I came across two talking stones while hiking in Colorado! One was big, but shy. The other was a little Boulder!You might be from Colorado if an avalancheis coming and you're wearing Broncos blinders!You might be from Colorado if you've actuallyy seen Bigfoot, in South Partk of all places!

Q. How are a Colorado weatherman and a ski area hooker alike?
A. Both can only estimate how many inches they'll get, or how long it will last.

Q. How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
A. He brought along his skiing-eye dog.

Q. What does every great ski area in Colorado already take into consideration?
A. With great powder, comes great responsibility.

Q. What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
A. He's gondola top of the mountain.

Q. Where do ski instructors keep their money?
A. In the local snow bank.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?

Q. Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
A. Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.

Q. How can you tell you've had too much coffee while vacationing in Colorado?
A. You ski uphill!

Q. Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
A. Because they're high rollers!

Q. What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
A. Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.

Q. How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
A. Sorry Dude.

Q. How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
A. Both have dirt bags on board.

Q. What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
A. Baseplates.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?

Q. Which Olympic sport always captures the attention of Colorado locksmiths?
A. Skiing!

Q. Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
A. They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.

Up-Lifting Laugh of the Day: The local bank in Aspen introduced a new cash machine built in to a tree at the base of Snowmass. If it's successful, they intend to expand with other branches at Aspen Mountain, Buttermilk, and Aspen Highlands.

Q. Which kind of corn chips are best after a day of skiing when you're sitting in front of the fireplace with your boots off?
A. Tostitos.

Colorado Tourism Point to Ponder: When your week off goes downhill and you decfde to extend it another week, is that a stay-cation a ski-cation?

Skiing Point to Ponder: Why do we get so excited about ski vacations considering once they've arrived, it's all downhill from there?

Q. What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
A. Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.

Q. What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
A. Ice Spy With My Little Ice.

Q. What do young Colorado skiers enjoy most at school?
A. Snow and Tell!

Q. Which classic candy is still the favorite of Colorado backcountry skiers?
A. Sno-Caps.

Q. How do ski instructors get to work?
A. By icicle.

Q. What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
A. Icebergers. BRR!

Q. How can you tell you've had too much coffee and weed while vacationing in Vail, Colorado?
A. You have the ability to ski uphill!

Q. At the craft beer pub in Breckenridge, Colorado what is the drunk guy's favorite kind of skis?
A. Brewskies!

Q. Why did the old alpine skier die so suddenly?
A. He went downhill fast.

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