Q. Why do tennis players have low self esteem?
A. Because they have so many faults.

Q. Why do some people dislike tennis?
A. Because it's a wacky sport.

Tennis Tip of the Day: If you walk into a bar dressed as a tennis ball, you'll be served right away.

Q. Why did the Labrador Retriever advise his master to invest in tennis balls?
A. 'Cause they have such a high rate of return!

Q. Why did Elmer's tennis game improve so much?
A. 'Cause he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-tennis free.

Q. How do you play quiet tennis?
A. The same as regulation tennis, but without the racket.

Q. Why was the tennis player fed up with all the condescending comments about his performance?
A. He was tired of all the backhanded insults.

Q. Why did the guy tennis player break up with his tennis player girlfriend?
A. Because they had very different definitions of LOVE.

Q. Which sport are waiters really good at?
A. Tennis, because they're such great servers.

Painful Tennis Pun of the Day: Is there a bathroom at this tennis court? 'Cause I am about to drop a deuce.

Q. Why did they call that player the Love Master?
A. Because he sucks at tennis.

Q. Which U.S. state has the most tennis players?
A. Tennis-sea!

Tennis Player Pick-Up Line: Girl, you might as well be a tennis player 'cause I am gonna court you!

Q. Why don't fish play tennis?
A. Because they're afraid of the net.

Q. What did the tennis ball say when it was hit?
A. Who's making all the racquet?

Q. What comes before tennis?
A. Nine-is.

A tennis ball rolls into a restaurant. The waiter asks, "Have you been served?"

Q. Why was the tennis club's website down?
A. They had problems with their server.

Q. Why should you think twice about playing tennis in a court?
A. You might get arrested.

Q. What is the most depressing thing about tennis?
A. You'll never be as good as a wall.

Q. What time is the best to strike up a tennis match?
A. Shoot for around ten-ish.

Q. What did the tennis teacher name his daughter?
A. Annette.

Q. Why do tennis players like vending machines?
A. 'Cause they don't have to wait to be served.

Q. How can you tell your tennis opponent isn't happy with your serve?
A. He keeps returning it!

Q. Why did they call the officer of the court Ace?
A. 'Cause dude, you've been served!

Q. How many sports magazines to you have to buy to get free athletic footwear?
A. Ten Issues. OUCH!

Q. Why wouldn't the librarian let the tennis player check out the book about aces?
A. 'Cause she knew he'd never return it!

Did you hear about the cheating wife who got knocked up by her tennis coach? Serves her right!

Tennis Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the horny tennis player that didn't score? Yeah, but he still made love.

Q. Why is there such a high divorce rate among tennis players?
A. 'Cause love means zip to them.

Q. Where do tennis players go on a date?
A. The Tennis Ball.

Delicious Tennis Joke of the Day: I like my tennis grip just like my breakfast – Continental.

Q. Which tennis tournament never closes?
A. The U.S. Open.

Q. What's the difference between a waiter and a tennis scorekeeper?
A. One sets the tables, and the other tables the sets.

Q. When is it good to stand on the service line?
A. Only when you want to order ice cream.

Q. Where do gluttons prefer to play tennis?
A. At the food court.

Q. How is playing tennis like waiting tables?
A. The most important thing is to get right on the first serve.

Q. How long did the tennis player do well in the tournament?
A. Until he met his match.

Q. Why did the blonde tennis player charge the net?
A. 'Cause she ran out of cash.

Tennis Point to Ponder: When you're ready to sell your old tennis equipment, how do you determine its net worth?

Q. What happened when an apple and an orange signed up for the tennis tournament?
A. No surprise, they were both seeded.

Q. What time does a racquet star wannabe in training go to bed?
A. Tenn-ish.

Q. What do you call it when a tennis player hasn't lost a single match to an opponent?
A. All set to win.

Tennis Pro Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, are you wearing cream cheese? 'Cause you are about to get bageled.

Q. Why were the pro tennis player's neighbors so upset?
A. Because she always made such a big racquet.

Q. What happened when two tennis tournament directors posted the schedule at the same time?
A. It was a draw.

Q. What is a tennis player's favorite number?
A. Ten is the favorite number.

Q. How did the tennis pro quit his job at the club?
A. He served notice.

Tennis Insult of the Day: Do you always play this badly at the net? 'Cause I really don't like your approach.

Q. Why didn't the tennis player change the light bulb?
A. He refused to admit it was out.

Q. What happened when the tennis player's serve hit the tape?
A. At least, they'll let him hit it again.

Tennis Pun of the Day: Two racquets started to date, but one was stringing the other along with no intention of tying the knot.

Q. Which is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Q. Why don't they change the scoring system in tennis?
A. 'Cause the game of tennis is set in its ways and does not see that point.

Q. Why would an elephant float down river on his back?
A. Because he didn't want to get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. What happened when the guy pushed the service button at the reception desk?
A. He got smacked in the head by a tennis ball.

Q. Why did the professional tennis player quit his career?
A. He was far too high strung and it wasn't his racket.

Q. What is the hardest thing about knowing you're really good at tennis?
A. Telling your folks you're gay...

Q. How does a tennis publicity master impress the crowd?
A. He hits overheads, 'cause then every point will be a smash hit.

Q. Why do the ladies call the pro The Love Machine?
A. Because he's terrible at tennis.

Q. When does a British tennis match end?
A. When it Wimble-done!

Q. What happened when the tennis player missed both his serves on match point?
A. The other player won by de-fault.

Q. Which notable tennis player was more bohemian than nearly all others?
A. Artier Ashe.

Q. What do you call a pro tennis player who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A. Homeless.

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