Q. What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? A. Babe Root!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment!
Q. What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game? A. The Champire!
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs!
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up!"
Q. Why did the pastry chef hire a pitcher? A. Because he knew how to handle the batter!
The baseball team's winning streak continued won by won!


Baseball Jokes, Bullpen Puns, Ballpark Humor
Batter's Up for home run humor, striking pun pitches, foul LOLs and funny baseball player jokes.

Baseball Humor, Ball Game Jokes, Foul Puns
(Because Grand Slam Jokes and Hit Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Bench Warmers or Cleanup Hitters!)
Warning: Proceed With Caution! Doubleheader puns, strikeout jokes, line drive puns and curve balls ahead.
| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Humor | Bodybuilder Puns | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing Jokes |
| Camping and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness LOLs | Golf Jokes | Gym Jokes | Gym Flirts |
| Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes | Running Jokes | Scary Sports Puns | Snow Skiing Jokes |
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| NFL Football Jokes | Go Denver Broncos! | Colorado Sports Humor | Water RecreationH umor |

Q. Which positioin did Bruce Wayne play in Lttle League? A. bat boy!Q. Why did the cops go to the baseball game? A. they heard somebody was stealing bases!Q. Why did Dracula quit the baseball team? A. Because they'd only let him be bat boy!

Q. Why did a boy hang upside down from the dugout ceiling?
A. He really wanted to be the bat boy.

Q. Which superhero is the best baseball player?
A. Batman!

Q. Why couldn't Robin play in the baseball game?
A. Because he forgot his Bat, Man!

Did you hear about the former baseball player who's now a standup comedian? He fouls the crowd over and leaves them all in stitches.

Q. Why did The Witches lose their last baseball game?
A. 'Cause all their bats flew away!

Baseball Point to Ponder: Was/Is Doctor Who a ballplayer? If not, Who's on First?

Q. What is the difference between a pick-pocket and an umpire?
A. One steals watches and the other watches steals.

Ballpark Point to Ponder: If Hit and Run is a felony, how can major league baseball possibly be legal?

Q. Which kind of socks do successful baseball players wear?
A. Stockings with runs in them.

Q. Where do baseball players get the grass stains off their uniforms?
A. In the bleachers.

Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch? Oh, nevermind. You just missed it...

Q. Why did the blonde baseball player bring string to her fastpitch game?
A. In case she needed to tie the score.

Q. Where should a baseball player never wear red?
A. In the bullpen.

Q. Where do zombies with no arms and no legs play their championship baseball game?
A. Wrigley Field.

Q. What do you call the monkey who made the winning play in the Bar League Finals?
A. Chimpion!

Q. Why did the baseball team hire a piano tuner?
A. Because he had perfect pitch.

Q. What do you get if you cross a baseball player and the Invisible Man?
A. Pitching like you've never seen before.

Q. Why are frogs such great baseball players?
A. Because they're so good at catching flies!

Why can't chefs play baseball? Because they always get caught trying to steal the basil!Batman's foe says: Batter's Up! Batman says: POW!When the T-ball players started crying, the ball field became a bawl park!

Q. What do baseball players use to bake a cake?
A. Oven mitts, bunt pan, and batter!

Q. Which player listens to the band, Cake, during a baseball game?
A. The batter!

Q. Why should you bring along a baseball player when you go camping?
A. Because they know how to pitch a tent.

Q. Which baseball player makes the best cakes and cookies?
A. The batter.

Q. Why are baseball games played at night?
A. Because bats are nocturnal.

Q. Why are some baseball players rich?
A. 'Cause they play on diamonds.

Q. Why did the baseball player go to a used car salesman?
A. He wanted a sales pitch.

Q. What do ballpark spectators have in common with baseball players during a losing series?
A. Both just want to get home.

Q. What is a baseball player's favorite thing about going to the park?
A. The slides.

Q. What does home plate say about the baseball?
A. It's pointless.

Q. Why is a major league ballpark the coolest place to be in mid July?
A. Because of all the fans.

Q. What did the baseball glove say to the baseball?
A. Nothing. Mitts can't talk...

Q. How do you kow you have a female umpire? A. She remembers ....arguments from previous games!Q. What is the pig baseball player's favorite position? A. Short Slop!Q. Why was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player? A. Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!

Q. How long did the baseball player spend at the library?
A. Five minutes. He was a short stop.

Q. Where does a catcher sit for dinner?
A. Behind the plate.

Q. Does British nobility ever watch baseball?
A. Only when it's a knight game.

Q. What do baseball catchers wear on Halloween?
A. Face masks.

Q. Why do chickens make bad umpires?
A. 'Cause they always call fowl balls.

Q. Which sport is the first to be mentioned in the Bible?
A. Baseball. Genesis says: In the big inning.

Q. Why don't male cattle like baseball?
A. Because of the bullpens.

Q. Where does a Major League Baseball player go when he needs a fresh uniform?
A. New Jersey.

Q. Three old women, at a baseball game, are sneaking shots of Jack Daniels after every half-inning. So, which inning is it now?
A. It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.

Q. Why did the blonde baseball player put springs on his cleats?
A. Because he was getting ready for spring training!

Q. How can you tell a window loves baseball?
A. It just falls to pieces when they meet.

Q. Which baseball player holds water?
A. The pitcher.

Q. Which type of baseball is played in England?
A. Tea Ball.

Hall of Fame Fact of the Day: Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.

Q. Who is the former Cuban president now playing n Houston? A. Fidel Astro!Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!Championship Game at the Astro Gnome

Q. Which great baseball player loved fireplaces?
A. Mickey Mantle.

Q. Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?
A. Because it was the wurst on the team.

Q. Why did the bakery hire a former baseball pitcher?
A. 'Cause he really knew how to handle the batter!

Q. What does a baseball player do after he's lost his eyesight?
A. He becomes an umpire.

Q. How can the coach tell the fans are unhappy with the pitcher?
A. 'Cause they're singing: Take him out of the ballpark.

Q. How is baseball like a waffle?
A. Both need a good batter.

Q. Why was the chicken taken out of the baseball game?
A. For persistant fowl balls.

Q. Why don't they play baseball in the jungle?
A. Because there are so many cheetahs there!

Q. Where do coal miners play baseball?
A. In the minor leagues.

Q. Why was second base so sad?
A. Because it knew it would never be first.

Q. Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
A. Ben Schwarmer.

Q. What did the player on the Bumblebee baseball team say after crossing home plate?
A. Hive Scored!

Baseball Umpire Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I'd really like to ball you!

A guy at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him!

Q. Why couldn't fans get any soda pop at the double header in 1965?
A. Because the home team lost the opener.

Q. Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second?
A. Because there's a short stop in between.

Q. Where do shortstops go to dance after winning the game?
A. The Base Ball.

Baseball Point to Ponder: Why is it called the World Series if only North American teams play in it?

Q. How can a ballplayer pitch a winning game without throwing a ball?
A. By only throwing strikes!

Q. Why do professional singers make great baseball players?
A. Because they have perfect pitch!

Q. What sport do gnomes play during the summer?
A. Little League Baseball.

Q. What position did the gnome play on the baseball team?
A. Shortstop.

| Baseball Jokes | 2 | Basketball Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Bowling Jokes | Hit Boxing LOLs |
| Camping Puns and Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns | Fitness Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Golf Jokes |
| Gym Jokes and Workout Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | Gym Flirts | Gnome Gym | Olympic Sports Jokes |
| Running Jokes, Jogger Puns, Marathon Laughs | Scary Sports Humor | Snow Skiing Jokes |
| Soccer Jokes, Futbol Puns | Sports Animals | Sports Bar LOLs | Swimming Jokes | Tennis Jokes |
| NFL Football Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Sports Humor | Water Recreation |
| Sports Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Sports Pick-Up Lines |

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