Q. Which Colorado ski rea do locksmiths prefer? A. Keystone!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Big Ape Asks: What do a bad football team & a pothead have in common? A. Both get blitzed!
Q. What is a horse's favorite sport? A. Stable Tennis!
Trying to putt with so many geese on the green is for the birds! and that's putting it mildly!
Old Most Interesting Man in the Word says: I put a Denver Broncos jersey on my airplane. Now it can't touch down!
Did you hear about the blonde water polo player? Her horse drowned!

 


Colorado Sports Humor, Skiing Jokes, Sport Puns
Step up to mountain sports humor, skier jokes, athletic Colorado puns, and Denver Broncos jokes.

Hiking Jokes, Ski Puns, Mountain Sports Humor
(Because Fit Outdoor Sports Jokes Could Never Be Too Mainstream in the Colorado High Country)
Warning: Ascend at your own rate. Hiking Humor, Sports Puns, and Skiing Jokes Only Go Downhill from Here!
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Tourism | Weather | Mountains | 2 | 3 |
| Nightlife | Craft Beer | Munchies | Dogs | Wildlife | 2 | 3 | Sasquatch | Bigfoot |
| Colorado Sports | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Cannabis | Mile High Humor |

You might be from Colorado if you'll always call it Mile Hight Stadium no matter what lame logo is on it!Q. Why do hipsters tend to stick to back country streams in Colorado? A. Because they're less main stream!Q. What is a locksmith's favorite winter sport? A. Skiiing!

Q. Why are Denver Broncos fans in such great shape?
A. They digest a stable diet and exercise caution when telling horsey sports jokes at the brew pub.

Did you hear about the Denver Broncos fan who was hospitalized with 11 plastic horses inside him? Doctors report his condition as stable.

Q. How do you avoid getting swallowed by a river while white water rafting in Colorado?
A.
Stay away from the river's mouth.

Three blonde hikers were in the pine forest and came across some tracks. The first one said, "It looks like bear tracks." The second said, "No, it looks like beaver tracks." Before the third could say anything, they all got hit by a train... Dam!

Q. What do you call a very slow skier?
A.
A slope-poke.

Q. What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
A. Polaroids!

Q. Why was the skier taken to the emergency room?
A. He hurt his ski bum.

You might be from Colorado if you've seen this guy skiing on Peak Nine!You might be from Colorado if your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the crap out of the Raiders.You might be from Colorado if an avalancheis coming and you're wearing Broncos blinders!

Q. Why did the stock broker go to Vail?
A.
He wanted to meet moguls.

Q. How many Colorado ski bums does it take to change a light bulb?
A.
None. Ski bums don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs.

I accidentally left two Rockies tickets on my car's dash, with the windows open. When I got back, there were two more!

Q. Why can't basketball players, other than the Denver Nuggets, vacation in Colorado?
A.
Because they'd get called for traveling.

Q. Why does toilet paper like alpine skiing on Colorado slopes?
A.
That's the fastest way to the bottom.

Q. What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
A.
It knocked him out cold!

Denver laundromat added trendy new exercise equipment featuring spin cycles!Q. How  do you make University of Colorado cookies? A. Put them in a big bowl and beat for 3 hours!You might be from Colorado if you'd rather run with the squatch, than run away!

Q. How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"

Q. What do you call heels on ski boots?
A.
Ski lifts.

Q. What do Colorado skiers like in their breakfast bowl?
A.
Frosted Flakes.

Q. What is a Colorado skier's mantra?
A.
There's snow place like home!

Q. Why are the Colorado ski slopes so funny?
A.
Because they're hill areas!

Q. Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
A. Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.

You might be from Colorado if you're determined to finish the hike around the mountain lake come hell or high water!Wookie says: I came across two talking stones while hiking in Colorado! One was big, but shy. The other was a little Boulder!You might be from Colorado if you friend asks your plans for today's hike and you summit up nicely!

Q. If you're hiking in Colorado and find a fork in the road, what should you do?
A.
Stop for lunch!

Q. What do skiers like to eat for lunch?
A. Icebergers.

Did you hear about the Colorado mountain climber who broke his left arm and left leg? He's all right now.

Q. Why should you always invite a skier to Thanksgiving dinner?
A.
They're good at carving.

Q. Why are Colorado hiking stores so diverse?
A.
Because they employ people from all walks of life.

Q. How do you know when a ski instructor walks into the bar?
A. Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Never go hiking with a serial killer in Colorado! Just give hm free reign on the psycho path!Which Colorado14-er should you climb is you can't make a decision? Quandary Peak!Ape says: I bought a pair of hiking boots in Colorado from a drug dealer! I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!

Q. What steps should you take if you see a mountain lion while hiking on Mt. Evans?
A. Very large ones.

Did you hear about the kidnapping on Pike's Peak? It's okay – He woke up!

Colorado is the only place where it's acceptable for a man to brag about how many 14-ers he's been on top of.

High Country book never written: Comin' Round the Mountain by Shelby Bach.

Q. What do you call a Colorado skier who tells tall tales?
A.
A snow fake.

Did you hear about the Colorado tourist who got cold while paddling up stream? He lit a fire in his boat, only to discover you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Tourism | Weather | Mountains | 2 | 3 |
| Nightlife | Craft Beer | Munchies | Dogs | Wildlife | 2 | 3 | Sasquatch | Bigfoot |
| Colorado Sports | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Colorado Cannabis | Mile High Humor |

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