Q. What do you call a time-traveling cow? A. Doctor Moo!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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TARDIS Asks: How can today be Monday? It was Friday just a few hours ago
Q. Why did the Doctor jump into his own time stream? A because it made things a little Clara!

TARDIS Asks: Why are you so jazzed it's Friday? Monday in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Q. What happens when the Doctor goes back in time? A. It's a pair-o-Docs!

 


Time Travel Jokes, Future Humor, Past Puns
Time travel to or from timely humor, neo retro puns, future history jokes and present LOLs.

Tomorrow's Timely Puns & Humor to Watch Today
(Because Late Jokes, Untimely Puns, and Quantum Humor Were Never TOO Mainstream in the Future Past!)
Warning: You're Late! Recede with Caution! Yesterday's humor, tomorrow's jokes, and late puns ahead.
| Time Travel Jokes | Time Lord Jokes | Timely Puns to Watch | Travel Jokes | Space Travel Puns |
| Road Trip Jokes | Cross the Road | Air Travel Puns | Weather Jokes | Sea Trip | Pirate Puns |
| Hipster Humor | Blonde Jokes | Hairy Barber Humor | Painful Fashion Puns | Light Bulb Jokes |

ET Chef Asks: What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry? A. He went back four seconds!What do we want? Time travel. When do we want it? irrelevant!If time is money, are ATMs time machines?

Q. Why didn't the comedian tell his hilarious joke about time travel?
A. Because the audience was not laughing.

Q. Why didn't the fair lady time traveler cross the road?
A. Because London Bridge was falling down, falling down, falling down.

These time travel jokes will be funny when you read them again last year.

A. You'll have to wait for the punchline.
Q. What is the most Painful thing about time travel Puns?

Q. Why can't procrastinators time travel?
A. Because they never arrive ahead of time.

Q. Why is it so hard to tell a joke about quantum mechanics?
A. Because even though it's funny, it's not funny at the same time.

Q. What kind of mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?
A. Quantum Mechanics!

Time Travel Point to Ponder: When you tell a time travel joke, is timing everything?

Q. What do time traveling aliens call their little green vacation in Colorado?
A. Time Off!

Q. What is it called if you accidentally travel to the same time twice?
A. Deja View.

Q. What is an interior decorator's favorite time travel movie?
A. Back to the Fuchsia.

Did you realize that we are all time travelers, moving at 60 minutes per hour?

Q. Why did the hungry time traveler go back four seconds?
A. Because that's how they do a dine and dash in the 22nd Century.

A. The punchline comes first.
Q. What is the weirdest thing about time travel jokes?

Timely Point to Ponder: Is it possible to get a speeding ticket when you're time traveling?

You might be a time lord if you're the only person at your family reunion!Q. Why can't two Doctors be together? A. That would be a time pair-o-docs!Q. Why do chefs worry about an herb shortage? A. Because of the end of thyme!

Q. Why didn't the blonde major in time travel?
A. She didn't think there was any future in it.

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Do child time travelers keep asking, "Are we there yet?"

Q. Which equipment do future time travelers use back at the gym to stay in shape?
A. A Flex Capacitor.

Q. Why didn't anybody laugh at the last time travel joke?
A. You will in 3, 2, 1...

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Are/were hipsters actually time travelers?

Q. Why don't time travelers have birthday celebration parties?
A. Because they're not interested in the presence.

Q. What do you call somebody who is always early?
A. Time traveler.

Q. Why do some people you've seen seem smart until you talk to them?
A. Because light travels faster than sound.

Q. How do you describe a tense time-traveling clock?
A. All wound up!

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Do time travelers have a frequent flyer program?

Q. What do you call a hot blonde time traveler who's late?
A. Pregnant. Duh!

Today's Timely Fact: The best thing about lending your time machine to the neighbor is that you'll get it back right away.

Q. Which kitchen gadget does an ancient alien chef in Colorado use to bring back herb from the future?
A. A thyme machine.

Q. Why are these time travel jokes so funny?
A. Because you'll laugh at them time and time again, or you already did.

Q. What did the time traveler say when he was seated at the restaurant?
A. Boy am I hungry! I haven't eaten since late tonight.

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Do time travelers have a timeless sense of humor?

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Do time traveling hipsters use the main time stream?

Q. What did mourners say about the time traveler at his funeral?
A. Tsk, what an untimely loss. No wait! REWIND!

Q. Why didn't we post that last time travel joke?
A. Looking back, it's been posted over and over again, or at least it will be.

Nurse: How is the guy who was addicted to time travel doing currently?
Shrink: That's all in the past now.

Attention: The laboratory has postponed the time machine experiment until last Tuesday.

Two time lords walked into a bar... You'd think they would have seen it?Bartender says: "We don't serve time lords here." Time lord walks into a bar.Q. What do you call a slow time machine? A. ReTardis!

Patient: Doctor, I keep seeing the future!
Doctor: When did this start?
Patient: Next Sunday morning.

I was going to tell another time travel joke, but it's either ahead of its time, or it's too late now...

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Can a time traveler arrive at a party fashionably late?

Job Applicant: Time travel.
HR Guy: What's your biggest strength? You're hired.

Time Travel Point to Ponder: If you bump into an old pal at a time travel club meeting, is it fair to say you go way back?

Time Travel One Liner: I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Are time travel jokes just a waste of time?

I was going to tell another time travel joke, but I'm pretty sure you've already heard it.

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Can time travelers have a bad day?

Q. Why did we skip the last time travel joke?
A. Because nobody's laughing.

Time Warped Pick-Up Line: Hey girly, you know I could go back in time and approach you with a better chat up line.

Q. Why didn't the university student major in time travel?
A. He didn't think there was any future in it.

Time Travel One Liner: Time travel classes begin last Monday.

I was going to tell yet another time travel joke, but I'm pretty sure you told it to me next week.

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Do time travelers need to use LSD?

Q. What is the best thing about being a used time machine dealer?
A. You can buy them used and sell them as new!

Past, Present & Future Walked Into a Bar. It Was Tense!Ain't no party like a time lord party because a time lord party is not bound by typical temporal parameters, so it never stops!There's gnome time like the present, past and future. Who gnew gnomes are time travelers?

Time Travel One Liner: Time travels when you toss your watch out of a moving vehicle.

Did you hear about the time traveler who visited a restaurant? He liked it so much that he went back four seconds!

Q. What do you call a British time traveling footwear salesman?
A. Doctor Shoe.

Time Travel Point to Ponder: Do time travelers even have grandfathers?

Q. What is the name of a British time traveling ghost?
A. Doctor Boo.

Tomorrow's Time Paradox: Isn't it ironic that today's newspaper is yesterday's news?

Q. Why did the blonde toss her clock out the car window at 75 MPH?
A. She wanted to see time travel fast.

Q. What is the grand prize in the current time travel club raffle?
A. A Quantum Leap.

Q. What is the grand prize in the Denver Chapter Time Travel Club raffle?
A. A trip back to Super Bowl Sunday in 2016, 1999, and 1998. Go Broncos!

Q. Why did the time-traveling chicken cross the road?
A. To find out what all the jokes were about.

Q. Why didn't the quantum chicken have to cross the road?
A. She was already on both sides.

Q. What do you call a British time traveling proctologist?
A. Doctor Poo.

Q. Why did the blonde duct tape alarm clocks onto two Mallards and launch them off the roof?
A. Because she wanted to create a time pair o' ducks.

Q. What do you call it when your watchdog runs off?
A. Time travel.

Poorly Timed Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that if you watch a dull documentary about time travel, you can never get that hour back?

Q. What is next year's grand prize in the Colorado Time Travel Lottery?
A. A trip to the past when you'd be correct if you called it Mile High Stadium or Mile High Field. GO Broncos!

Time Travel One Liner: I heard a really funny time travel joke tomorrow.

Q. Why did the time traveler cross the road?
A. Because it was bound to happen.

Q. What is the name of a British time traveling cow?
A. Doctor Moo.

Q. What do you call a British time traveling hair stylist?
A. Doctor Do.

There once was a lady named Bright
who traveled much faster than light.
She departed one day in a relative way,
and returned on the previous night.

Q. What is the grand prize in today's time travel lottery?
A. A trip to see the Beatles perform Yesterday.

Yesterday's Joke of the Day: There is an easy way everybody can use to travel in time. You merely move forward in time at a rate of one second per second.

Q. What is next year's grand prize in the Denver Chapter Time Travel Club raffle?
A. A trip to a winning season in the near future. Go Broncos!

| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Jokes | Auto Mechanic Puns | Time Travel | 2 |
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | 2 | Air Travel | Sea Trip Humor | 2 |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Tourism | Mountains | 2 | 3 | Hipsters |
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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