Q. How does a pirate declutter his ship? A. He has a Yarrrd Sale!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Where do ships go when they are sick? A. The dock!
Q. What happened when Blackbeard fell overboard into the Red Sea? A. He got marooned!
Pirate Pick-Up Line: So you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?



High Seas Humor, Boat Jokes, Sea Captain Puns
Navigate a boatload of seafaring puns, crew-ed pirate humor, and really shippy jokes on sail.

Pirate Jokes, Seaworthy Puns, Ship Humor
(Because Sailing Jokes and Ahoy Humor Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Marooned Pirates on the High Seas)
Warning: Dock at This Port with Caution! Mayday jokes, SOS LOLs, passing ship humor and puns ahead.
| Pirate Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Arr! | 2 | Pirate Pick-Up Lines | High Seas Humor | 2 |

Q. How do you save a drowning pirate? A. With C P ARRR!Q. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A. Because they spend years at C!Q. Why does a pirate carry a bar of soap with hin at all times? A. If his ship is sunk, he'll wash up ashore!

Q. How do you make an old yacht look younger?
A. Boat-Tox.

Q. During which time period did the sea captain put out the most distress calls?
A. During his mayday heyday.

Q. What look does a pirate give his shipmates before walking off the ship?
A. A plank stare.

Q. Why did the pirate start doing drugs?
A. Pier pressure.

High Seas Point to Ponder: Does the book about the moon's effects on the world's oceans have a tidal page?

Q. When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?
A. When they are on sail!

Q. What happened when the red ship collided with the blue ship?
A. The sailors were all marooned!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Ahoy! How'd ye like to sink my battleship?

Q. Which vessel is preferred by beer-drinking pirates?
A. The schooner.

Q. How are trumpet players and pirates alike? A. They're both murder on the high Cs!Q. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A. Arrr? No, the C is his love!The sailors said "Hello" as their boats passed on the Hi Seas!

Q. What do you call a barking dog aboard an underwater ship?
A. A sub woofer.

Q. What is the stinkiest part of a pirate ship?
A. The poop deck!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: My lady, you can unfurl my sail any time!

Q. What does a mermaid wear to math and botony classes?
A. An algae-bra, naturally!

Q . Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
A. Because B-shells were too small.

Q. Why did the blonde pirate navigator get the crew lost?
A. Because he had ship for brains.

Q. What kind of laundry detergent do sailors use?
A. Tide.

Q. Which pirate ship has a closed entry?
A. A frigate.

Q. How does a pirate declutter his vessel?
A. He has a yaRRRd sale!

Did you know that sea captains don't like crew cuts?Q. What did the sailor in the crow's nest say to his captain? A. Eye Eye!When someone claimed the skipper was unskilled at mooring the ship, he replied, "You're one to dock!"

Q. What did the captain of the Beagle say when there was a crisis on board?
A. All Hounds On Deck!

Q. What is Captain Hook's favorite place to shop on shore leave?
A. The second hand store.

Little Known Pirate Factoid: Pirate ship captains do not like crew cuts!

Q. What does a pirate wearing a monocle use to navigate the seven seas?
A. An Aye Chart.

Q. What does a patch-wearing pirate fear most while navigating polar seas?
A. Eyes Bergs!

Q. What do pirates wear when sailing in icy waters?
A. PaRRRkas.

Q. When is a boat just like winter snow?
A. When it's a drift.

Q. What's the difference between an iceberg and a lint brush?
A. One crushes boats, but the other brushes coats.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Ahoy wench! How about we get together to haul some keel?

Q. Which kind of ship is feared most by pirates? A A Relationship!Q. Which are the only notes a pirate vocalists can hit? A. The high Cs!Q. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? A. He bought it on sail!

Q. Which ocean habitat features ill-tempered residents that like to argue?
A. A quarrel reef.

Q. Which side of his ship does a pirate try to avoid?
A. The outside.

Q. Why couldn't the crew of the pirate ship play cards?
A. Because ye captian was standing on deck.

Q. What happened to the pirate who got a mast-ive concussion?
A. Now he's got ship for brains.

Q. What did the sea say to the captain of the pirate ship?
A. Nothing. It just waved.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Lady, I've sailed the seven seas, and you're the sleekest schooner I've ever sighted!

Q. Where do zombies like to go boating?
A. The Dead Sea.

Q. Where do the captains of the buccaneer ship line have meetings?
A. At Cor-pirate headquarters.

Q. What do pirates on passing ships say to each other?
A. I sea you.

| Pirate Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Arr! | 2 | Pirate Pick-Up Lines | High Seas Humor | 2 |
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