Jokes About Each Day of the Week
Work your way through Monday puns, Tuesday laughs, Wednesday
grins, Hump Day humor,
Thursday LOLs, Friday funnies, Caturday puns, Saturday jokes and Sunday
Plan Your Day with Caution! Day-to-day humor, dazed weekend jokes,
and dated weekday puns ahead.
Daily Jokes, Day-to-Day Humor, Dazed Puns
(Because Pun Day Jokes and
Fun Day Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream if Every
Day of the Week is Funny!)
| Day of the Week Jokes | Sunday
Funday Jokes | 2 | 3
| 4 | Mon-Dane
Monday Jokes | 2 | 3
| Tuesday Jokes and DOs Day Puns | 2
| 3 | Wednesday
Jokes and Hump Day Humor | 2 |
| Thursday Jokes and Thors Daze Humor
| 2 | Friday
Jokes and TGIF Fried Day Funs | 2
| 3 | 4 |
| Saturday Jokes, Caturday Puns, and Sought
Her Day Laughs | 2 | 3
| Daily Pick-Up Lines |
Why is Sunday happy?
A. Because it's not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
How do you become a superhero during a Sunday football game?
A. Rescue a guy named Bud who's been trapped inside
How is Sunday like a superhero?
A. It swoops in to save you from two wicked nights of partying
to begin a fresh new week.
Smile of the Day: I haven't been this excited about Sundae,
since last Sunday!
Which day of the week is the sweetest and gives you brain
A. Sundae Pun Day.
Which day of the week always makes you smile, and then groan?
A. Pun Day!
What is the funniest day of the week?
A. Punday Sunday.
Which day of the week do painful punsters enjoy the most?
What is the meteorology term for a sunny, warm, gorgeous
day that follows two days of rain?
How do you know the work week will get even crazier after
Monday and Tuesday?
A. Because all that's left is WTF.
How can you tell you had a wild and wonderful weekend?
A. By the number of pics you have to un-tag on Monday morning!
How are Mondays like vampires?
A. Because they suck!
Words of Wisdom: Making it to Tuesday is a sign you managed
to survive Monday!
Which day of the week is busiest at dating websites?
Why is Tuesday the unsung hero of the week?
A. Because it's the furthest from next Monday!
Words of Wisdom: Do not get hung up on NooseDay!
Why does your dog think Tuesday is fun?
A. Because he thinks you said SmoochDay!
Tuesday Trivia: Nothing messes up your hump day than realizing
it's only Tuesday!
Why do farts like Tuesdays?
A. Because it's called TootsDay in the native language of
Thought of the Day: It's funny how Wednesday is sort of
like a middle finger pointing up at you.
Which godly day of the week Woden you want to mess
Why is Wednesday called Hump Day?
A. Because it's the WTF lead-in to the next two days!
Which day of the week does Pugsley protect?
A. Weird Wednesday.
Point to Ponder: Why doesn't anybody get married on Wednesday?
On which day of the week do hipsters launch their newest
A. Weirds Day.
On which day of the week do the most people get lost?
A. Where's Day.
What do you call a week with no Wednesday?
How do you finally get over hump day?
A. Buck Up to Thursday!
Day Pick-Up Line: Hey girl,
today is Hump Day, so why not start it out with
Anti Pick-Up Line: Hey big
guy, if you were a camel, you'd have a hump...
Pick-Up Line: Hello there.
My name is Humphey. You must be Wednesday? (As told by the
Pick-Up Line: Wow, is your
name Wednesday? 'Cause I'd gladly hump you.
Pick-Up Line: Hi, is your
name Camel? 'Cause I'd like to double-hump you.
Thought of the Day: Better days are coming. They're called
Friday, Saturday and Sunday!
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, it's
Thursday so why wait until Friday night?
Which days of the week are a mere blur the following morning?
Why does Wednesday hate Thursday?
A. Because it's the only thing blocking Friday!
Which day of the week tends to drive you crazy?
Which day of the week is a superhero?
A. Friday! 'Cause it flies in to save the rest of the week!
What is the only thing better than it being Friday?
A. When Friday is payday!
Friday Night Pick-Up Line:
Hey girl, if you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
night is my Bud, but Saturday morning is my Bae.
Weekend Point to Ponder: It was Friday, I blinked, and now
it's Monday again? OUCH!
How can you tell it was a brutal Saturday night?
A. Even your dog said it was "ruff!"
Why do we ask "How was your weekend?"
A. So we can tell everybody else about our extreme Saturday
What is the only bummer early Saturday morning?
A. Having to watch infomericials before the cartoons start!
How do you become a superhero on Saturday night?
A. Rescue a guy named Jim Beam who's been trapped inside
Daily Jokes | Sunday
Puns | 2 | 3
| 4 | Monday
| 2 | 3 |
Tuesday | 2
| 3 | Wednesday
| 2 | 3
What can you get online on Caturday that you can't get on
any other day of the week?
A. Lots of lynx!
Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, is
your name Cat? 'Cause you're purr-fect.
Point to Ponder: Do rats fear Caturdays, or do they party
hearty and act as if there is no tomorrow, just like we
Pick-Up Line: Hey Dude, is
your name Lion? 'Cause you are the mane event!
Which day of the week does your dog dream about the most?
Point to Ponder: Does it really count as the weekend if
you don't do something Super pointless?
How is a weekend just like a rainbow?
A. You can see them from a distance, but when you get close
they begin to disappear.
Night Pick-Up Line: Hey,
is your name Weekend? 'Cause I've been dreaming
about you all week.
Which weekend day is for debauchery and degenerate activity?
A. Sinister Saturday.
What do you call somebody who only experiences extreme anxiety
on Saturday and Sunday?
A. A weekend worrier.
Point to Ponder: Why is Sunday called Funday? What's so
fun about realizing the next day is Monday?
Pick-Up Line: Hey there,
do you like hot dogs? 'Cause it's fun in the bun
Why is Sunday called Funday?
A. Because it's Happy Hour all day long.
Why is it called Fun in the Bun Sunday?
A. Because you don't have to roll out of bed too
Night Laugh: Life is short, so smile while you still have
all your teeth...
| Thursday Humor | 2
| Friday Fun | 2
| 3 | 4 |
Saturday LOLs | 2
| 3 | Daily
Pick-Up Lines |
| Seasonal Holiday Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome
Holiday Party Jokes |
| Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig
Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
Holiday Drnking Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes |
VD Day Pick-Up Lines | St.
Patrick's Day Puns | Spring Holidays
| Happy 420 Jokes | Party
Animal Puns | Hot Summer Holiday
Jokes | Autumn and Fall Puns
| Halloween Puns |
Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Winter
| Christmas Jokes | Santa
Claus Jokes | Christmas Food
Jokes | Elf LOLs | Xmas
Chat Up Lines |
| Xmas Music | Christmas
Animal Jokes | New Year's Jokes
| Winter Humor | Winter
You've worked your way this
far, so here's more dazed
laughter, daily jokes, week
humor and Painful Punday
jokes that'll get you through the day:
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
Blonde Jokes | Brewed
Puns | Cents-Less Puns | Coffee
Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Fashion
Jokes | Hair Jokes |
| Happy Hour Humor | Hipster
Jokes | Money Puns | Music
Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate
Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Sports
Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | UFO
Jokes | Vacation Jokes | Weather
Jokes | Wine Jokes |
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