Q. Why is Sunday happy?
A. Because it's not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday!

Q. How do you become a superhero during a Sunday football game?
A. Rescue a guy named Bud who's been trapped inside a bottle!

Q. How is Sunday like a superhero?
A. It swoops in to save you from two wicked nights of partying to begin a fresh new week.

Sunday Smile of the Day: I haven't been this excited about Sundae, since last Sunday!

Q. Which day of the week is the sweetest and gives you brain freeze?
A. Sundae Pun Day.

Q. Which day of the week always makes you smile, and then groan?
A. Pun Day!

Q. What is the funniest day of the week?
A. Punday Sunday.

Q. Which day of the week do painful punsters enjoy the most?
A. MemeDay.

Q. What is the meteorology term for a sunny, warm, gorgeous day that follows two days of rain?
A. Monday!

Q. How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?
A. Because all that's left is WTF.

Q. How can you tell you had a wild and wonderful weekend?
A. By the number of pics you have to un-tag on Monday morning!

Q. How are Mondays like vampires?
A. Because they suck!

Tuesday Words of Wisdom: Making it to Tuesday is a sign you managed to survive Monday!

Q. Which day of the week is busiest at dating websites?
A. TwosDay.

Q. Why is Tuesday the unsung hero of the week?
A. Because it's the furthest from next Monday!

Midweek Words of Wisdom: Do not get hung up on NooseDay!

Q. Why does your dog think Tuesday is fun?
A. Because he thinks you said SmoochDay!

True Tuesday Trivia: Nothing messes up your hump day than realizing it's only Tuesday!

Q. Why do farts like Tuesdays?
A. Because it's called TootsDay in the native language of Fartlandia.

Wednesday Thought of the Day: It's funny how Wednesday is sort of like a middle finger pointing up at you.

Q. Which godly day of the week Woden you want to mess with?
A. Wednesday.

Q. Why is Wednesday called Hump Day?
A. Because it's the WTF lead-in to the next two days!

Q. Which day of the week does Pugsley protect?
A. Weird Wednesday.

Midweek Point to Ponder: Why doesn't anybody get married on Wednesday?

Q. On which day of the week do hipsters launch their newest trends?
A. Weirds Day.

Q. On which day of the week do the most people get lost?
A. Where's Day.

Q. What do you call a week with no Wednesday?
A. Humphrey.

Q. How do you finally get over hump day?
A. Buck Up to Thursday!

Hump Day Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, today is Hump Day, so why not start it out with a bang?

Wednesday Anti Pick-Up Line: Hey big guy, if you were a camel, you'd have a hump...

Wednesday Pick-Up Line: Hello there. My name is Humphey. You must be Wednesday? (As told by the camel.)

Wednesday Pick-Up Line: Wow, is your name Wednesday? 'Cause I'd gladly hump you.

Wednesday Pick-Up Line: Hi, is your name Camel? 'Cause I'd like to double-hump you.

Thursday Thought of the Day: Better days are coming. They're called Friday, Saturday and Sunday!

Thirst-Day Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, it's Thursday so why wait until Friday night?

Q. Which days of the week are a mere blur the following morning?
A. Thurs-Daze.

Q. Why does Wednesday hate Thursday?
A. Because it's the only thing blocking Friday!

Q. Which day of the week tends to drive you crazy?
A. TurnsDay.

Q. Which day of the week is a superhero?
A. Friday! 'Cause it flies in to save the rest of the week!

Q. What is the only thing better than it being Friday?
A. When Friday is payday!

Desperate Friday Night Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, if you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.

Friday night is my Bud, but Saturday morning is my Bae.

Wasted Weekend Point to Ponder: It was Friday, I blinked, and now it's Monday again? OUCH!

Q. How can you tell it was a brutal Saturday night?
A. Even your dog said it was "ruff!"

Q. Why do we ask "How was your weekend?"
A. So we can tell everybody else about our extreme Saturday adventure!

Q. What is the only bummer early Saturday morning?
A. Having to watch infomericials before the cartoons start!

Q. How do you become a superhero on Saturday night?
A. Rescue a guy named Jim Beam who's been trapped inside a bottle!

Q. What can you get online on Caturday that you can't get on any other day of the week?
A. Lots of lynx!

Caturday Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, is your name Cat? 'Cause you're purr-fect.

Saturday Point to Ponder: Do rats fear Caturdays, or do they party hearty and act as if there is no tomorrow, just like we do?

Caturday Pick-Up Line: Hey Dude, is your name Lion? 'Cause you are the mane event!

Q. Which day of the week does your dog dream about the most?
A. Caturday!

Weekend Point to Ponder: Does it really count as the weekend if you don't do something Super pointless?

Q. How is a weekend just like a rainbow?
A. You can see them from a distance, but when you get close they begin to disappear.

Friday Night Pick-Up Line: Hey, is your name Weekend? 'Cause I've been dreaming about you all week.

Q. Which weekend day is for debauchery and degenerate activity?
A. Sinister Saturday.

Q. What do you call somebody who only experiences extreme anxiety on Saturday and Sunday?
A. A weekend worrier.

Sunday Point to Ponder: Why is Sunday called Funday? What's so fun about realizing the next day is Monday?

Sunday Pick-Up Line: Hey there, do you like hot dogs? 'Cause it's fun in the bun day.

Q. Why is Sunday called Funday?
A. Because it's Happy Hour all day long.

Q. Why is it called Fun in the Bun Sunday?
A. Because you don't have to roll out of bed too early.

Funday Night Laugh: Life is short, so smile while you still have all your teeth...

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