Dockyard: A Physician's Garden. - Garden Puns, Green Jokes, Grow Groans!

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Gardening Jokes, Plant Puns, Growing Groans
Plant a bumper crop of garden jokes, green humor, and corny plant puns that grow on you.

Gardener Jokes, Flora-ble Puns, Garden Humor
(Because Healthy Homegrown Humor Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Green Thumb Gardeners)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. You never know what lurks in the bushes or weed.
| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

How did the tomato court the corn? He whispered sweet nothings in her ear.Q. What kind of socks does a gardener wear? A. Garden Hose!Q. How can you tell if a tree is nomadic? A. It packs up its trunk and leaves.

Gardeners with green thumbs always know the ground rules!

Q. Why was the potato crying over his vodka and tonic?
A. It was his cousins.

Q. Why did the gardener quit?
A. His celery wasn’t high enough.

Q. Did you hear the latest joke about the tree?
A. It'll leaf you laughing.

For this tree pun, I had to go out on a limb and branch out to some higher sources.

Q. What do trees wear to pool parties?
A. Swimming trunks.

Q. What did the alien dandelion say to the earth dandelion? A. Take Me To Your Weeder!The tree trimmers did a great job! They really should take a boughQ. What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? a. A Lawn Moo-er.

Q. What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
A. Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.

Q. What do trees like to drink?
A. Root Beer.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever iron a four-leaf clover?
A. You might press your luck.

Q. Why was the tree drooling?
A. Because it was a Dogwood.

Q. Why did the gardener need a cork?
A. Because his garden sprung a leek!

Q. What what can you make from baked beans and onions?
A. Tear gas.

Some River Valleys Are Absolutely Gorges.I Just Got Garden Supplies at Gnome Depot.Why did the farmer quit? His celery wasn't high enough!

Q. What do you call a land where the people drive only pink cars?
A. A pink carnation.

Q. Why did the farmer's horse go behind the barn?
A. It wanted to change its Jockeys.

New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past, and rely on the fuchsia...

Q. What did the woman say when a neighbor asked to borrow her lawnmower?
A. Sorry, he's not home yet.

Q. What is a gardener's favorite novel?
A. War and Peas.

Q. What is a baker's favorite kind of tree?
A. Pastry.

Insect Puns Really Bug Me!Garden gnomes are often stolen. Gnome wonder why ALL aren't?A Girl Said She Recognized Me From the Vegetarian Club, But I'd Never Met Herbivore.

Q. What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A. Global Worming.

Q. What is the most musical garden insect?
A. The Humbug!

New gardeners learn by trowel and error.

Wise gardeners' mantra:
Weed 'em and Reap!

Q. Which type of tree is commonly found in kitchens?
A. A Pantry.

There is something missing from my garden flower bouquet, she said lack-a-daisy-cally.

Q. What happened after a garden plant took a math class?
A. It grew square roots!

| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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ou've lasted this far, so here's even more growing laughter,
flowery humor, and painful puns that'll fertilize your garden:

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