Q. Why do garden gnomes in Colorado always smile?
A. Because the grass tickles their balls!

Q. What is the mantra of happy garden gnomes?
A. Why can't we all just get a bong?

Q. For maximum effect, what time do garden gnomes smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Stoner Gnome Poem: Puff puff. That's nuff.

Q. Why are so many gnomes and leprechauns in Colorado recreational marijuana users?
A. Because there's pot at the end of the rainbow!

420 Growing Point to Ponder: If a wee garden gnome smokes weed, does he get medium or high?

Q. What was the stoner hipster gnome doing in Colorado's back country?
A. Blazing a trail off the mainstream.

Q. Why don't gnomes traveling through Colorado ever get into arguments?
A. Because they always take the high road!

Q. Why do so many traveling gnomes visit the Mile High city?
A. For the high times.

Q. What happened to the comedian garden gnome grower after his green celebrity roast?
A. He could finally hold his head up high.

Q. Why do garden gnomes make terrible DEA narcs?
A. Because they keep planting evidence.

Q. What does a spaced out gnome call it when he's weedy having fun flying high?
A. Enjointment!

Q. Why do stoner gnome musicians like playing in the High Country?
A. Because of the view up here!

Q. What do traveling gnomes in Colorado say when they're ready to hit it?
A. Let's Roll!

Q. Why did the hungry stoner gnome cross the road?
A. To get to the Taco Bell on the other side.

Q. What do Coloradan garden gnomes call the legalization of marijuana?
A. Fweedom!

Q. What did the garden gnome get after nibbling on the Colorado grower's crop?
A. A pot belly.

Q. What do you call a horny stoner gnome who is alone on the weekend?
A. A weed wacker!

Q. What do stoner gnomes always take along on Colorado UFO sighting trips?
A. High-powered cameras.

Q. How can you spot a jealous garden gnome in Colorado?
A. He's into Green Envy, Bud.

Q. Why aren't there any gnomes on the lawn at the rehab center?
A. The sign out front said: Keep Off The Grass!

Q. Why don't Denver garden gnomes have to get high even though they legally can?
A. Because they're already a mile high!

Q. Why was a garden gnome trying to find Green Gamma at the Colorado pot shop?
A. He wanted to bulk up like The Hulk.

Q. What is the gnomette's recipe for growing her own dope?
A. Plant a man!

Q. What do stoner gnomes always take along on Colorado Bigfoot hunting trips?
A. High-powered night vision cameras.

Q. What does a gnome call a grumpy, short-tempered ganja gardener?
A. A Snap Dragon.

Herb, the Gnome: When is it good to have a tree in your pocket?
Troll Bud: Fir when you'd just like a little nug.

Q. How can you tell your garden gnome can take care of his serious weed problem?
A. He's brings along his own weed wacker.

Q. What do garden gnomes call a horny stoner?
A. A weed wacker!

Q. Why did the stoner gnome wear kevlar gardening gloves on his date?
A. 'Cause Maryjane was smokin' and just too hot to handle!

Q. Why do so many gnome tourists visit the Mile High city?
A. To pick up on so hot Colorado cannabis come-ons.

Q. What do you call a clan of garden gnomes that grows marijuana in their backyard?
A. A Joint Family.

Q. What do you call a clan of stoner Colorado garden gnomes?
A. High Five.

Q. What do garden gnomes call a tuber toker that smokes weed?
A. A baked potato!

Colorado Cannabis Factoid: Nudists hate barely legal week jokes, but garden gnomes enjoy marijuana and nudists!

Q. What happened when the stoner guy spanked his naughty cement garden gnome statue?
A. It really hurt when he hit rock bottom.

Q. Which pot shop on top of Lookout Mountain do most Denver gnomes visit?
A. Higher Expectations.

Q. What did the frog sing to the garden gnome after lighting up?
A. Don't Worry, Be Hoppy!

Q. What is a stoner gnome's idea of a balanced workout outdoors in the shade?
A. A joint in each hand!

Q. What do garden gnomes call dining on Colorado cattle raised grazing on half grass and half weed?
A. High Steaks Gambling.

Q. What happened after the garden gnome got baked?
A. He could finally hold his head up high.

Q. How can a green garden gnome tell that he's smoked too much weed?
A. He thinks everyone in the room is staring at him, but he's standing outside in the yard.

Q. Why couldn't the lifeguard at save the drowning stoner gnome?
A. 'Cause he was too far out, man.

Q. What do stoner gnomes call the new game where they get so baked they can barely chase each other around the yard?
A. Hash Tag!

Q. Which weed song offers romance tips for garden gnomes?
A. Weed Instead of Roses by Ashley Monroe.

Well-Timed 420 Quip from a Garden Gnome: Occasionally, I smoke marijuana every single day. Time travel is what it is.

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