Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Denver is just a little closer to home!   PainfulPuns.com - Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. Um, what was the question , again?
Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Hey, I'm not getting paid for these tourism ads!
Q. What do you call it when two cities with legal cannabis get together? A. A Super Bowl!
Q. Which era do pothead fossil hounds dig most? A. The Stone Age!
Alien Abduction: Can I be blunt? Join us for a hghly recommended laugh!
Q. What do you call it when your relatives grow wee in their backyard? A. A Joint Family Venture!
Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. 5280 Pot Shops!
Colorado High Country Joke: I put a Denver Broncos jersey on my airplane. Now it can't touch down!
If the whole world smoke a joint at the same thime, there'd be world peace ... followed by a global food shortage!
Bud Says: Freedom doesn't exist if nature is illegal!

 


Colorado Cannabis Jokes, Elevated Puns, Pot Humor
Step up to Mile High marijuana humor, high country Colorado weed puns, and legal stoner jokes.

High Country Humor, 420 Jokes, Peak Pot Puns
(Because Legal Weed Jokes, Blunt Puns, and High Minded Humor Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream In Colorado!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Weed IS Funny up in the Colorado High Country, but NOT down there in Nebraska!
| Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Denver Buzz | Legal Weed Jokes | Stoner Pick-Up Lines |
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

Alien says: You might be from Colorado if you believe in going green!Chimp chef says: After Colorado legalized marijuana, there were a few hours of peace followed by a statewide food shortage!Wolf asks: What is Colorado's state slogan? A. Welcom to the high country!

Q. What was the stoner hipster doing on his vacation to Colorado's back country?
A. Blazing a trail off the mainstream.

Classic Colorado Pick-Up Line: Hey, trail blazer, want to go get cough-ee some time?

Colorado Cannabis Factoid: Nudists hate barely legal weed jokes!

Q. Who is the keeper of the holy grail of Colorado Cannabis Industry jokes?
A. The Knights Hemplar.

Q. Which prize did the stoner get when he won the Colorado State Lottery?
A. He hit the big jackpot.

Classic Colorado 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, let's meet at 4:20. My Lips to yours!

Q. For maximum effect, what time should you smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Q. What do Colorado stoners always take along when hunting for craft beer?
A. High-powered taste buds.

Classic Colorado Pick-Up Line: Hi, do you smoke pot? 'Cause weed be great together!

Hey Colorado: Let's blow this joint!

Q. Which Colorado edibles shop also carries CBD oil infused craft beer?
A. The Reefinery.

Q. What happened to the taster at the Colorado cannabis bakery?
A. He got a pot belly.

Q. What is the best selling kind of pizza in Colorado?
A. Stone-baked.

Colorado Stoner Point to Ponder: Square box, round pizza, triangular slices? I'm so confused!

Classic 420 Quip: It's always 420 in Colorado, so wake up and bake up!

Thanksgiving Point to Ponder: Why does eating grass fed turkeys from Colorado give you the munchies?

Q. Why is the legalized marijuana industry doing so well in the Colorado Rockies?
A. Because legal cannabis is in high demand.

Q. How do most legalized marijuana industry workers in Colorado get hired?
A. They are reefered.

Q. What do stoners always take along on elk hunting trips in Colorado?
A. Bugles snacks.

Q. Why is Colorado called the High Country?
A. Peak Scenery, Bud!

Q. Which Colorado pot shop do tourists frequent when visiting Breckenridge?
A. Higher Elevations.

Colorado Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey there hottie, I don't even need a lighter because you're already on fire!

Q. What did the pot grower say when he got turned around on a whirl-wind trip through the Colorado high country?
A. There's no trichome like home.

Q. Which cannabis strain gets great PR in Colorado?
A. Sinsemedia.

Q. What do Coloradans call medical marijuana with a good vibe?
A. Karmaceuticals.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado getaway trips?
A. An ounce of high-powered cannabis.

Colorado 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey firefly, I'm feeling a little off today, but I bet you could turn me on! (FYI: firefly insects are not native to Colorado, but there are plenty of sci-fi nerds here.)

After Colorado legalized cannabis, my grandpa asked me to download Rocky Mountain High!You might be from Colorado if you know where Bongmont is and can find it without GPS!Alien says: In Colorado, if you don't like weed puns, you ganja have a bad time!

Q. Which is a stoner's favorite Colorado Symphony Orchestra song?
A. Beethoven's 420 Symphony.

Colorado Cannabis-ism: Weed my lips!

Q. For maximum effect, what time does Bigfoot pop a Coors and smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado Bigfoot hunting trips?
A. High-powered night vision cameras.

Q. Who is the top budding genius at the Colorado Academy of Cannabis?
A. The Head Master.

Q. Why do Colorado women like working in the legalized marijuana industry?
A. Because there is no grass ceiling!

Colorado Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, my friend and I are having a bake sale. Wanna joint us?

Q. How do partying skeletons in Colorado get high on the weekend?
A. Marrow-juana.

Colorado Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, what kind of grinder are you using? 'Cause you are extra fine!

Q. What do Coloradans call the legalization of marijuana?
A. Fweedom!

Did you hear about the guy in Colorado who wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable? He said it's an ingenious way to get Americans to stop smoking pot!

Colorado Tourism Slogan: Weed like to welcome you.

Q. How can you tell you've had too much coffee and weed while vacationing in Colorado?
A. You have the ability to ski uphill!

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado rock hunting trips?
A. A rock hammer and a high-powered geology loupe.

Classic Colorado Weed Question of the Day: Can I be blunt?

Q. What's the name of the top producing legal cannabis growers in Colorado?
A. High Five.

Colorado Cannabis Come-On: Hey Aurora, you're so hot that I don't even need a lighter!

Colorado High Country Come-On: Hey baby, wanna come over and suck my bong?

Q. Why don't little green men visiting Colorado get into arguments?
A. Because they always take the high road!

Q. What do Coloradans call a spaced alien tourist in Idaho?
A. Baked Potato.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado UFO sighting trips?
A. High-powered cameras.

Q. Which kitchen gadget does an ancient alien chef in Colorado use to bring back herb from the future?
A. A thyme machine.

Q. What do time traveling aliens call their little green vacation in Colorado?
A. Time Off!

Q. What is a little spaceman's favorite color?
A. Bud, in Colorful Colorado, it's definitely green.

Q. Why was the Colorado entrepreneur so pleased with her new edibles shop?
A. Profits are higher than ever!

Q. What did the accountant say about the marijuana industry in Colorado?
A. It's a high growth industry.

Colorado Cannabis-ism Slogan: Weed. It's not just for glaucoma any more!

Q. Why is Colorado's nickname the High Country? A. Peak Scenery, Bud!Q. What is the Colorado state motto? A. Marijuana, can't we all just get a bong!Stoner Wolf Says: Welcome to Colorful Colorado! Hey, GREEN is a color, too!

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents are quite common in the Mile High city, while cannafoodies are more prevalent in the higher areas west of the Continental Divide.

Q. What do horny Colorado stoners always take along on babe hunting trips?
A. Weedy High-powered pick-up lines.

Q. How do deer in Colorado consume weed?
A. They can't buy Bic lighters, so they only go for edibles.

Q. Which drug request causes the most elopements in Colorado?
A. Marry-Wanna?

Q. Which Colorado pot shop do tourists frequent when visiting Breckenridge?
A. Higher Elevations.

Two stoners were walking along the Pikes Peak Cog Railway. One says, "This is a really long staircase, man!" Second stoner replies, "I don't mind all the stairs, but the handrail is killing me!"

Broadmoor: BRING BACK the PIKES PEAK COG RAILWAY TRAIN!!!

In Colorado, some people treat their pets with medical marijuana. Which is great because cats need another reason to sit on the couch all day.

Q. What happens when blonde stoners move from Kansas to Colorado?
A. Colorado gets even more colorful.

Colorado Cannabis Trivia: Mary Jane Mountain became part of Winter Park Ski Resort on January 30, 1975, adding 18 new trails to the high country.

Q. What do blonde stoners always take on Colorado skiing trips?
A. High-powered gondolas, duh!

Q. Which pot shop do movie stars frequent when filming in Colorado's high country?
A. The Green Room.

Q. How can you tell your cannabis is true Colorado?
A. 'Cause good buds always stick together.

Q. What do Colorado locals call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Ganja point to ponder: Why is green code talk okay in Ireland and Colorado, but rather suspicious in Omaha?

Q. What does the Big Bad Wolf near Kremmling say when he visits town on 420?
A. I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow these trees in Grand County down!

Colorado Cannabis-ism: Help eradicate road rage in our lifetime!

Q. What do you call dining on Colorado cattle raised grazing on half grass and half weed?
A. High Steaks Gambling.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado bird watching trips?
A. High-powered binoculars.

Q. Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
A. Because they're high rollers!

Q. Where do green crayons go to vacation?
A. Colorado's High Country.

Q. What do folks in Idaho call Colorado stoners?
A. Baked Potatoes.

You might be from Colorado if you don't drink and drive.Wolf Says: Welcome to Colorado's High Country! Dogs Welcomed!You might be from Colorado if you vaguely remember this guy from college!

Q. What is a gasper?
A. Dude, if you can't even remember bad schwag, you must be from Colorado!

Classic Colorado Pick-Up Line: Whoa, are you a joint? 'Cause you're smokin'!

Q. What are Colorado's fave cannabis songs?
A. You Don't Know How It Feels and Last Dance with Mary Jane by Tom Petty. (R.I.P. Buddy.)

Rockin' Colorado Hit: Dude, this song smells like Redrocks Amphitheatre!

Q. Why did cannabis go mainstream in Colorado?
A. There were a lot of potent arguments in its favor.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado house hunting trips?
A. High-powered finances.

Q. How can you tell your Colorado gardener knows how to take care of a serious weed problem?
A. He's brought along his own weed wacker.

Q. How does the Colorado state treasurer classify the legalized marijuana business model?
A. As a Budding Industry.

Smokin' Colorado Pick-Up Line: Hey, you're so HOT that you just lit my blunt.

Q. Why do stoner Coloradans stay high?
A. 'Cause they like the view up there.

Q. What do stoners always take along when hunting for clarity in Colorado?
A. Deep thoughts and High-powered contact lenses.

Q. Why was the big Colorado dog still eating?
A. That blue brand grass-fed bison dog food gave him the munchies.

Q. What's the best way to teach a Colorado dog to roll over and play dead?
A. Bluntly, make him watch a few more Broncos games.

Q. Why are cold coffee and smokin' marijuana such a popular wake up and bake up ritual in Colorado?
A. 'Cause that's the reason ice mocha lot of weed.

Q. Why is the new Colorado Weed and Whiskey pub doing so well?
A. Because everyone who visits there is in high spirits.

Q. What is a Colorado weirdo pothead's favorite tune?
A. Okay Computer, play any Creep song by Radiohead!

Q. What do medical marijuana dispensaries in Colorado jokingly say THC stands for?
A. The Healing Center.

Q. What do the Feds say about legal marijuana commerce in Colorado?
A. It's a joint movement.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado river Rainbow Trout fishing trips?
A. High-powered lures.

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer is a Colorado pot head's favorite?
A. Blitzen.

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado hunting trips?
A. High-powered rifles.

Q. Why don't Coloradans torch ditch weed?
A. Oh come on Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore!

Q. When Colorado Santa's not wearing red, what is his favorite color?
A. Ganja Green.

Q. Why don't Colorado mountain town stoners ever get into arguments?
A. Because they always take the high road.

Classic 420 Point to Ponder: All you need is 4 blunts for 20 Coloradans.

Q. What do stoners always take along on scenic Colorado sight seeing trips?
A. An High-powered desire for purple mountain's majesty.

Colorado Stoner Skier Pick-Up Line: Hey, girl. Wanna get up-lifted?

Q. What is a Colorado Sublime fan's favorite song?
A. Smoke Two Joints.

Q. What do Colorado stoners always take along on job hunting trips?
A. High-powered resumes.

Q. Which SUV model did most Colorado stoners drive before marijuana was legalized in the state?
A. Blazers.

Weedy Deep Point to Ponder: Dinosaur bones were recently unearthed in Highlands Ranch. Scientists at Denver Museum of Nature and Science say the bones are that of a horned dinosaur and a herbivore. So, does that mean Colorado has been green for more than 65,000,000 years?

| Colorado Jokes | Denver Puns | Colorado Nightlife LOLs | Colorado Craft Beer | Tourism Jokes |
| Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Buzz | Legal Weed Jokes | Stoner Pick-Up Lines | 2 | 3 |
| Weed Jokes and Cannabis Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Blunt Weed Humor | 2 |
| Pot Poetry, Marijuana Mantras | Ganja Music Jokes | Pot Party Puns | Weedy Funny Munchies |
| Incredible Green Hulk | Spaced Out Aliens | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Gnome Pothead Puns |
| Funny Stoner Monkeys | 2 | Animal Pothead Puns | Weed Light Bulb Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |

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| Oh Crap! | Outer Space Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns | Sasquatch Jokes | Scary Humor |
| Science Fiction Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Gadget Puns | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes |

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Monstrously Funny Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Garden Puns, Green Groaners

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