Poetic Stoner Wisdom of the Day: Green ganja grass really kicks your ass.

Q. Why is the Mona Lisa still smiling?
A. Because the Incredible Hulk didn't go green until the 1970s.

Q. Which song from Easy Rider stoked up an entire generation?
A. Don't Bogart That Joint by The Fraternity of Man.

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, is your name Mary Jane, 'cause I want you in my Ziplock bag.

Q. Why did the blonde bitch break up with her stoner dog boyfriend?
A. Because he could eat alphabet soup and crap out smarter stuff than she could.

Potted Pick-Up Line: If you were a joint, I'd roll you over and lick you up and down.

Q. Why did the skunk know she was destined to grow great weed?
A. Her name was Flower.

Potted Poem of the Day: If everybody did a bong, and toked a bunch of weed, we'd all get along, that is agreed!

Did you hear Chuck Norris once arm wrestled The Hulk? The loser had to paint himself green. Colorado is brutal!

Poetic Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey let's go smoke some weed. Two puffs is all you'll need.

Q. Which marijuana song should not be considered the butt of stoner jokes?
A. Doobie Ashtray by Devin the Dude.

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, I wanna TH-See you naked!

Q. What did the stoner call his sweet best girl?
A. Canndy.

Q. How does a pothead feel after lighting up a bowl?
A. Up in Smoke.

Q. Why do so many UFO tourists visit Colorado's Rocky Mountains?
A. For the high times.

Weedy Green Spaced Alien Point to Ponder: Is a human standing on a toilet high on pot?

Q. What is a little spaceman's favorite color?
A. Bud, in Colorful Colorado, it's definitely green.

Q. What does a spaced alien call it when he's having fun flying high?
A. Enjointment!

Q. What was the hipster alien doing on his green vacation to Colorado's high country?
A. Blazing a trail off the galactic mainstream.

Q. What did the UFO recon team tell the spaced alien fleet about 420?
A. You're Ganja Enjoint the Day!

Q. What do time traveling aliens call their little green vacation in the Mile High City?
A. Time Off!

Q. Which kitchen gadget does an alien chef use to bring back herbs from the past?
A. A thyme machine.

Q. How do stoners resolve arguments?
A. Instead of rolling up their sleeves, hey calmly roll up some blunts instead.

Hot Stoner Come-On: Hey Mary Jane, I don't even need a lighter 'cause you're so hot!

Classic 420 Quip: In Colorado, the focus is on repairing pot holes, not disrepairing potheads. Go Broncos!

Q. What do you call cannabis growers up against along the I25 corridor through Denver, Colorado?
A. Herb 'N Sprawl.

Q. What song is great to listen to while you're rolling up some blunts?
A. Crumblin' Erb by OutKast.

Q. What is the name of the new medical marijuana dispensary with a huge wait list?
A. Buy the Ounce.

Q. Where is most personal cannabis farming done near Denver, Colorado?
A. In the Subherbs.

Colorado Stoner Skier Bum Pick-Up Line: Hey bunny, wanna get up-lifted?

Q. What does THC stand for?
A. Toke, Hold, Cough.

Q. What did the stoner say when he heard about the drug test?
A. Dude, what kind of drugs are we testing?

Q. Which spaced aliens are the keepers of the holy grail of Colorado cannabis jokes?
A. The Knights Hemplar.

Q. Which weed song is inspiring when you've run out of rolling papers?
A. Hits from the Bong by Cypress Hill.

Weedy Powerful Pick-Up Line: Hey Mary Jane, I believe I have a huge kush on you!

Pothead Point to Ponder: If you laugh at funny weed jokes, but groan at pot poetry puns, do you have high standards?

Stoner Poem by Koko the Gorilla: Weed.

Q. What do medical marijuana dispensaries in Colorado jokingly say THC stands for?
A. The Healing Center.

Colorado Cannabis Point to Ponder: Why isn't there a network sitcom or even a cable reality show about a Denver pot shop?

Hot Blunt pick-up line: Thank goodness I'm wearing gloves, because Maryjane, you're just way too hot to handle.

Bob, the Stoner: How high are you?
Dave, the Pot Head: Yes.

Dave, the Stoner: High, how are you?
Bob, the Pot Head: Yes!

Q. Why are there so many Bigfoot sightings in Colorado?
A. 'Cause squatches like the high country view.

Short Stoner Pick-Up Line: High there?

Q. What is a treefer and is that better than a two-fer?
A. Both are Colorado happy hour goodies, and you be the judge...

Q. What happened after the garden gnome got baked?
A. He could finally hold his head up high.

High Country Pick-Up Line: Hey you, wanna come over to light up my life and light up this blunt?

Q. How do deer in Colorado consume weed?
A. They can't buy Bic lighters, so they only go for edibles.

Q. What do ya call a tight rope performer on marijuana?
A. A high wired walker.

Well-Timed 420 Quip: Occasionally, I smoke marijuana every single day. Time travel is what it is.

Q. What is the matronly woman's reason for zoning out on 4/20?
A. Because she is the mother of 4 20-something sons.

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey Bae, is your name Smoochy Poochy? 'Cause my lips pucker up whenever I get near you.

LoDo 2 a.m. Pick-Up Line: Hey, I'll let you hit this, if I can tap that!

Q. Which pot shop do movie stars frequent when filming in Colorado's high country?
A. The Green Room.

Q. Which legal marijuana shop is shunned by teachers and parents in Greenwood Village, yet beloved by Denverites around York and 1st Ave.?
A. Cherry Creek High Expectations.

Q. What is the name of the pot shop on top of Lookout Mountain?
A. Higher Expectations.

Stoner Confession of the Day: Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg...

THC Fact of the Day: Using Cannabis doesn't ruin your career. Drug tests do!

May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me.

Q. Why did the stoner have to retake his drug test?
A. Because the results showed his blood type as THC+. The second test results were blood type THC-. so Dish Network didn't fire him.

Q. What is Baked, Blazed, and Bouldered?
A. Rocky Mountain High, Colorado!

Q. Which Colorado pot shop do tourists frequent when visiting Breckenridge?
A. Higher Elevations.

Well-Timed 420 Quip: Occasionally, I smoke marijuana every single day. Time travel is what it is.

Shortest Stoner Hit-Up Line: High there?

Q. What is the name of the greenest pot shop in the Denver area?
A. The Releaf Center.

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