Colorado Stoner Monkey Question of the Day: Are you an Ent? Wow, I knew there were uncles, but I did not know there were giant tree people in Nebraska!

Q. How do single female primates grow their own dope?
A. Plant a man!

Q. Which day of the week do stoner monkeys enjoy the most?
A. WeedsDay.

Q. Why did Koko the Gorilla place such a great emphasis on higher math for his kids in school?
A. So they'll know the difference between Pi and Pie, and can quickly calculate how much cannabutter to use when doubling a recipe.

Q. How do gorillas in Colorado consume weed?
A. They can't buy Bic lighters, so they only go for edibles.

Q. Why did the clumsy baboon cross the road in Colorado?
A. To get to the recreational marijuana store on the other side.

Stoner Monkey Pick-Up Line: Hey Kong, are you a drug? 'Cause I marijuana take you home tonight.

Q. What's the difference between a stoner monkey and a politician?
A. Politicians don't inhale; they just suck.

Dumb Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, If you were a potato, you'd be a sweet potato. If I was baked, I'd be monkey bread.

Q. Which kind of pizza is the most popular among cheeky stoner monkeys?
A. Stone-baked.

Q. What time of the day do stoners always look forward to and back upon?
A. 4:20 AM and 4:20 PM.

Stoner Anti Pick-Up Line: You are right! It appears that smoking weed makes you stupid, 'cause the more I smoke, the more you sound like a big dumb ape.

Classic Stoner Monkey Pick-Up Line: Whoa, are you a joint? 'Cause you're smokin'!

Q. What do zen stoner monkeys call medical marijuana with a good vibe?
A. Karmaceuticals.

Stoner Monkey Point to Ponder: Did you know eating Italian food may boost your meat-ta-ball-ism?

Stoner Chef Monkeying Around: There really aren't many good puns about Italian food other than a fusilli remarks.

Stoner Monkey Point to Ponder: Why is it so common to have problems re-hashing classic weed jokes?

In Colorado, some people treat their pet monkeys with medical marijuana. Which is great because then he'll let the cat sit on the couch all day.

Q. For maximum effect, what time does Bigfoot smoke pot on top of Pikes Peak?
A. High Noon.

Q. Why did the hungry Colorado stoner monkey cross County Line Road?
A. To get to the Taco Bell on the other side.

Q. What do you call a chimpanzee cannabis distributor riding a bicycle?
A. A drug peddler.

Q. What do stoner monkeys call the legalization of marijuana in Colorado?
A. Fweedom!

Q. What do stoners always take along on Colorado Bigfoot hunting trips?
A. High-powered night vision cameras.

Stoner Monkey Pick-Up Line: You must be as dope as weed, because right now you're all I need.

Pot Pick-Up Line: Is your name Kong? And, are you a Chonger? 'Cause you toke my breath away!

Q. What do big ape stoners in Colorado always take along on babe hunting trips?
A. Weedy High-powered pick-up lines.

Orangutans think this Colorado Cannabis Factoid is hilarious: Nudists hate barely legal week jokes!

Q. Why do so many big gorillas visit the Mile High city?
A. To pick up on so many hot cannabis come-ons.

Q. What do the Denver Broncos and half of all adult stoner monkeys in Colorado have in common?
A. They all get blitzed!

Hungry Stoner who is not monkeying around: I like my weed jokes just like my pizza: extra cheesy!

Gorilla Munchie Mantra: It was a big pizza, but I did eat olive it!

Q. What do all comedian stoner monkeys know?
A. Pizza jokes are all about the delivery!

Q. Why do stoner monkeys like bumblebees so much?
A. Cuz bees are all about the buzz!

Big Ape in Colorado's Hight Country: I just bought some boots from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day!

Q. What does the Big Bad Wolf say to the stoner monkey on 420?
A. I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow these trees down!

Q. Why aren't there any stoner monkeys in kindergarten?
A. 'Cause that's what High School is for!

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