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Q. What do you call a temporary lack of inspiration? A. Apnea!
What happens if you start an illegal fire using flint? You get a sparking ticket!
Q. Why is a vampire good to take out for a meal? A. Because they eat necks to nothing!


Painful Puns, Miserable Jokes, Insanely Punny Funs
Hurt yourself silly with gruesome groaner jokes, wacky word play humor, and punny memes.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Puns That Don't Hurt or Make You Groan Out Loud Are Far Too Mainstream)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Funny bone and forehead protection strongly advised.
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A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!Insect Puns Really Bug Me!Seven Day Without a Pun ... Makes One Weak

Q. How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Toucan do it.

Q. How do you teach a parrot to speak properly?
A. Send him to Polytechnic.

Q. What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A. Global Worming.

Q. What do fireflies eat?
A. Light snacks.

A calendar's days are numbered.
hief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

Gnome or Puns? Hey, is this is hostage situation?A polar bear, giraffe, and penguin walk into a bar. Bartender says: "What" Is this some kind of a joke?"Crappy Pun: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!

GNO! Gnot another punny hostage situation involving elves?

Q. Why do gnomes and elves dislike each other?
A. Little disrespect!

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how bar jokes work!

Q. What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks?
A. A Fun-Gi!

Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better.

Q. If you're American in the living room what are you in the bathroom?
A. European.

What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A Rash of Good LuckI would tell you a leech joke, but it would suck!Hulk Humor: I Break Into Song Because I Can't Find the Key.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever iron a four-leaf clover?
A. You might press your luck.

Q. Did you hear the latest pun about the tree?
A. It'll leaf you laughing!

Q. Why did the gardener leave the store without a new shovel?
A. Because he didn't have enough cabbage.

Ouch! Bloody funny groaner pun:
Q. What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?
A. The leech stops bleeding you after you're dead.

Q. Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
A. Too much competition!

Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in a mattress? They got married in the spring.

Q. What is the secret of Hulk's purple pants?
A. Unstable nut-lear decay.

Q. What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk?
A. His zipper!

Q. How do you know The Hulk is invinceable?
A. Nobody named Vince has been able to stop him!

Gnome Latin: Confusing Puns, Gnome hurry...I can't wait!Women who wear $200 perfume obviously don't have common scents.NASA just put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit. Missioin name: The Herd Shot 'Round the World

Pun Trivia: Pun Latin is the second hardest gnome dialect to learn.

Q. What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A. Small Medium at Large!

Gnome Pun Intended! Gnome Kidding...

Perfume companies are concerned with dollars and scents!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day, keeps everyone away!

Q. Why are skunks so clever?
A. Because they have natural in-stinks!

Q. What are the spots on black and white cows?
A. Hol-stains.

Q. What happens if you talk to a cow?
A. It goes in one ear and out the udder.

Q. Why are steaks so happy at barbeques?
A. They get to meet all their old flames.

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Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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