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Painful Puns, Acute Jokes, Punny Funs
Torture yourself silly with raw groaner jokes, pun-ful word play humor, and itchy one-liners.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Puns That Require Funny Bone Protection Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Athletic Jokesters)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Painful one-liners, aches of laughter, and brain throbbing puns ahead.
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New Designer Corduroy Pillows ARE Making HeadlinesHaunted French Pancakes Give Me the Crepes!I starred in a stage play about puns. Actually, it was just a play on words!

Q. What do you get with a corduroy condom?
A. A Groovy Kind of Love.

Nobody ever does anything sneaky wearing corduroy pants, so they're a great indicator of who you can trust.

Q. Why did the chef retire?
A. He ran out of thyme.

Did you hear about the chef who had mushroom for improvement? He was a fungi, but of questionable morel character.

If an actress has a screaming role, is she eeking out a living?

One actor never felt right after he retired. He suffers from Post Dramatic Stress Disorder.

How Does a Man on the Moon Get His Hair Cut? Eclipse It.Horsing Around: If ya wanna make money as a comedian, you gotta have a cents of humor.Gnome Pun Intended!

Q. What do you call a clock on the moon?
A. A lunar-tick.

Q. What do you call a space explorer using a porta-potty?
A. An Astrono-Manure.

Q. How do you get a horse drunk?
A. Drink him under the stable.

Q. Why do skunks make such hilarious stand-up comics?
A. They're born with an innate scents of humor.

Gnome Pun Intended! Gnome Kidding...

Q. Why are Gnomes such devoted Star Trek TNG fans?
A. They're bald, speak with a British accent, and they like going where gnome one has gone before!

Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede? A. A Walkie TalkieDid you hear about the online origami store? It folded...I used to be a tap dancer, until I fell into the sink.

Q. What do you call a canary that flew into a pastry plate?
A. Tweetie Pie.

Q. Why do crows and ravens tell really dumb jokes?
A. Just be-caws!

A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

Q. Why are dedicated paper folders so dangerous?
A. They likely have a black belt in origami.

Q. Why did Hulk flush the toilet?
A. Because it was his duty!

Q. What do you call your mother's angry French sister?
A. A Croissaunt.

There is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, but their future is doubtful.Hardworking Memes Make Gnome Sense!Q. What Do You Call Two People in an Ambulance? A. Pair of Medics

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Old seers never die. They just lose their vision.

True, but he tries harder than his lazy meme contemporaries.

Troll Trivia: The best seller about trolls was written by an ungnome author.

Call me an ambulance!
Okay. You're an ambulance.

I don't find doctor puns funny now that I have an irony deficiency.

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