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Q. What did Mr Spock find in the toilet? A. A Little Shat!
Q. Why was Star Trek so successful? A. It had good Genes!
Data Asks: Have you rea the book, The Positronic Brain? It's by Anne Droid!
Spock Says: Star Trek Memes Are Illogical!

McCoy Says: Doctor's orders, Jim. Be a vulcan in the streets and a Klingon in the sheets!
Q. What happened when Yeoman Rand said there was a peephole in her cabin door? A. Captain Kirk promised t look into it!

 


Star Trek Jokes, Trekker Puns, Enterprise Humor
Boldly go explore final frontier humor, warped Star Trek puns, and spaced out Starfleet jokes.

Star Trek Humor, Trekkie Jokes, Warped Puns
(Because Star Trek Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Trekkies or Trekkers Aboard the Enterprise-D!)
Warning: Proceed Through Federation Space at Your Own Risk! Make It So! Red Alert! Beam Me Up, Scotty!
| Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock Puns and Vulcan Jokes | 2 | Trekkie Jokes |
| Star Trek The Original Series Jokes and TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Starship Enterprise Captain Jokes |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | Klingon Puns | The Borg Jokes | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Sci-Fi Cross the Road Jokes | Sci-Fi Light Bulb Jokes |

Why did the chicken cross the road? Dammin Jim! I'm a doctor, not a farmer! - Bones McCoy7 of 9 Star Trek Jokes Are Funny!Spock Says: Live long and prosper, and don't wear a red shirt!

Q. Why did the skeleton chicken cross the Star Trek road?
A. She heard Bones McCoy was on the other side!

When Dr. McCoy finished his examination of Scotty, he said, "I can't find any reason for your stomach pains. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." Mr. Scott replied, "In that case, I'll come back when you're sober."

Q. Why was the guy who was dressed as a Star Trek doctor booted out of the Sci-Fi convention?
A. Because he wasn't the real McCoy.

Q. Why shouldn't you try to date Seven of Nine?
A. Because necking is futile.

Q. Why should you think twice about marrying Seven of Nine?
A. You'd have 999,999,999,777 in-laws!

Q. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because seven ate nine.

Q. How does one decide to host a night of Star Trek poetry reading?
A. Weigh the prose and Khans and open a bottle of Romulan ale.

Q. Does Spock appreciate deadly Vulcan puns?
A. He does understand the complex nature of lively jokes, but he just does not see the humor in it.

Q. What does Spock say about Vulcan jokes?
A. Fascinating!

Q. Which kind of beer do Star Trek TOS and TNG fans prefer?
A. Dos Trekkies.

Q. What's it called when two Enterprise officers have an argument?
A. Science Friction!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh My! – Mr SuluCaptain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!Q. What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the hull? A. Capain, we are being hailed!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You redecorated your rec room to look like the Enterprise bridge and the guest room like Yeoman Rand's quarters.

Q. Why did the skeleton chicken cross the Star Trek road?
A. She heard Bones McCoy was on the other side!

Q. Why didn't Mr. Sulu's bike cross the road on Ripley's Pleasure Planet?
A. It was too tired!

Q. How do you know you're a tried and true Trekker?
A. You learned how to successfully pick up women by studying Captain Kirk.

Q. Why is James T. Kirk a better captain than Jean-Luc Picard?
A. Kirk once fought a Greek god, and won!

Q. What is it called when you can't decide rather to watch Star Trek TOS or TNG?
A. Stuck between a Spock and a Picard space!

Q. Where do Klingons shop for towels, small home appliances, and weapons?
A. Bed Bat'leth and Beyond.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You bring Klingon side dishes to pot luck gatherings.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your father looks a lot like a Klingon!

Q. What do you call a buff Trekkie at the gym?
A. A flextra terrestrial.

Q. What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan? A. Spocktacles! Did you hear about the new uniform-making machine on the Enterprise? Picard told Riker to make it sew!Have you read the book, Chekov: The Navigator? It's byy: I. Kiptin

Q. What is Spock's most logical pick-up line?
A. Why shock her, if you can Spock her?

Q. What is Spock's favorite carpet sweeper slogan?
A. Never Hoover in a forest. Nature abhors a vacuum.

Q. What does Mr. Spock use for birth control?
A. Vulcanized rubbers.

Q. How does Captain Picard like his women?
A. The same way he likes his tea: HOT!

Q. What does Captain Picard say at Christmas time?
A. Make It Snow!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your dog's name is Picard and your cat's name is Spot.

Mr. Spock: A syzygy is three heavenly bodies lined up in a row. Give me an example.
Chekov: Mudd's Women!

Mr. Spock: What is the formula for PI?
Chekov: Err, apple or cherry, sir?

Q. What is it called when a newbie nerd goes to a Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca?
A. A wookiee mistake.

Q. How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Klingons are not afraid of the dark!Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert? A. He never forgets a phaser!Captain Picard Says: We have engaged the borg. The wedding is in two hours!

Q. Why do Klingons like Tribbles?
A. Tribbles make great earmuffs and cranial ridge warmers.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your bumper sticker reads: Don't laugh. My other vehicle is a Klingon Bird of Prey.

Q. Why don't lifelong Star Trek fans ever grow out of it?
A. 'Cause they just Kling-on.

Q. Where do stoner Klingons stash their leftovers?
A. In a Zip'loc!

Star Trek Point to Ponder: Since Gene Roddenberry showed us a possible future, should we remember him as a televisionary?

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. If you've ever wondered about what Starfleet underwear looks like, or thought about designing the undies for the end-all Star Trek series.

Enterprise Rap of the Day: If the phaser shocker don't rock her, then go ahead a Spock her!

Q. Why did the blonde fan love Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty and Sulu so much?
A. 'Cause she had a one-Trek mind.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. When you put the key in the ignition, you say, "Engage!"

Q. What did Captain Picard say while Data tried to fix the Marclosian Stitching Machine?
A. Make It Sew!

Q. Who authored the fast-paced Star Trek thriller titled, Go to Warp 9?
A. N. Gage.

Q. What did the sci-fi fan say to his girlfriend who didn't like Star Trek?
A. I need to break up with you because I need space.

How Do You Know If You're a Trekker or a Trekkie?

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You can curse in Klingon, Cardassian, and Ferrengi.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You stand out in the Perseid Shower and say, "Another exploding Borg cube," every time you see a falling star.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You insist on calling your doctor "Bones." Or, you called your vet "Bones" and the name stuck!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. If you've ever thought to yourself, "Whoa, did that outfit get stuck in a pattern buffer?"

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your friends are Trekkers, but you're still open to meeting Trekkies and other aliens, too.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You've accidentally closed a job search cover letter saying, "Live Long and Prosper."

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You only speak Klingon when you accidentally answer a robo call.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. If you've ever wondered about what Starfleet underwear looks like, or thought about designing the undies for the end-all Star Trek series.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You can curse in Klingon, Romulan, and Zorn.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. Your parrot randomly curses in Klingon, Romulan, and Ferengi.

Q. How do you know you're a bona fide Trekker?
A. The Star Trek convention was over two weeks ago, but you're still wearing your com badge.

Q. How do you know you're a Trekker or a Trekkie?
A. That doesn't matter in Star Trek because all the restrooms are uni-sex.

Q. How do you know you're a pure-bred Trekker?
A. Youn named your Irish Setter, Red Alert.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You didn't even question why these jokes are not about Trekkies!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You know the difference between Warp, Transwarp, and Slipstream drives. Duh!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You can actually tell the difference between a Romulan and a Vulcan.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. When you find yourself in a sticky situation, you say, "Scotty, Beam Me Up!"

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You've shown up to jury duty wearing your Star Trek uniform.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You fully appreciate the effects of synthehol, and you've tried to replicate some along with your home brewing.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your dog's name is Worf.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You scare away door-to-door solicitors by acting like a Gorn.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You know the difference between "Live Long and Prosperly" and "Live Long and Prosper."

Q. How do you know you're a true Klingon Trekkie?
A. When you go to PetSmart for pet tortoise food, you ask for Gagh.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. Your chatty pet parrot's name is Lwaxana.

Q. How can you tell you're a Trekker?
A. You've built Starfleet Academy out of Legos and won't let children play with it.

Q. How do you know you're a Trekker?
A. You're not too chicken to cross the road to the port-a-potty on Talos IV.

Q. How do you know your parents are Trekkies?
A. Your middle name is Tiberius and your sister's middle name is Lwaxana.

Q. How do you remain a lifelong Trekker?
A. You always order Red Alert chili for lunch.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Nobody bats an eye when you say, "Make it so," during a business meeting.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You're afraid to wear a red shirt!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. When you put the key in the ignition, you say, "Engage!"

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. When you hear somebody say, "He's an enterprising young man," you look for his com badge.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your eldest son's middle name is Tiberius.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You decorate your rec room to look like the Enterprise bridge.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You want to change Siri's name to "Computer." And, you want to change Alexa's name to "Mudd's Women."

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You're hoping your toddlers can use their college fund to go to Starfleet Academy.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. You know the difference between "Live Long and Prosper" and "Nanu Nanu."

Q. How do you know you're a Trekkie?
A. You understand how and why the appearance of Klingons changed so dramatically in a generation.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. Your dog complies to commands in Klingon, Romulan, and Borg.

Q. How do you know you were born to be a Trekkie?
A. Your godfather is Noonien Soong and your uncle is Khan Noonien Singh.

Q. How do you know you're a hen-pecked Trekkie?
A. The ringtone for your wife is the Red Alert siren!

Q. How do you know you're a devoted Trekker?
A. After reading all these Painful Trekkie Puns, you've been inspired to join Starfleet Academy.

| Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock Puns | 2 | Star Trek TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Klingon Puns |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | The Borg Jokes | Enterprise Captains | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Lost in Space Jokes | Space Bar Jokes | Science Fiction Food Jokes | 2 | 3 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Dr Who Jokes, Tardis Puns, Whovian Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cyberman Jokes | Dalek Puns |
| Star Wars Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Darth Vader Dark Side Humor | Wookiee Puns | Yoda Jokes |
| ET Alien Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Green Spaced Alien Puns | Cows In Space Jokes | Outer Space |
| Science Fiction Doctor Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Cross the Road Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Light Bulb Jokes | 2 |

| Science Fiction Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Sci-Fi Pick Up Lines |

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