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McCoy Says: Doctor's orders, Jim. Be a vulcan in the streets and a Klingon in the sheets!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To boldly go where no chicken has gone before! – James T Kirk
Q. What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan? A. Spocktacles!
Star Trek Humor: Why did the chicken cross the road? Insufficient Information! – Computer
Why did Nancy find Doctor McCoy so attractive? A. He had great Bones structure

 


Star Trek: The Original Series Jokes & TOS Humor
Ahead Warp Factor 9 to Enterprise humor, Kirk-y puns, and jokes to tickle your funny Bones.

Star Trek Jokes, Spock Humor, Captain Kirk Puns
(Because Star Trek The Original Series Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Trekkies or Trekkers!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! TOS jokes and warped puns ahead. Beam Me Up, Scotty! I'm Wearing a Red Shirt!
| Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock Puns and Vulcan Jokes | 2 | Trekkie Jokes |
| Star Trek The Original Series Jokes and TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Starship Enterprise Captain Jokes |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | Klingon Puns | The Borg Jokes | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes | Sci-Fi Cross the Road Jokes | Sci-Fi Light Bulb Jokes |

Captain Kirk Says: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!Red Shirts to Kirk: Yes Sir. We're reddy!Why did the chicken cross the road? Dammin Jim! I'm a doctor, not a farmer! - Bones McCoy

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie and not a Trekker?
A. You learned how to successfully pick up women by studying Captain Kirk.

Q. Why is James T. Kirk still the best Star Trek captain of all time?
A. Captain Kirk once fought a Greek god, and won!

Q. What did the Enterprise replicator say to Captain James Tiberius Kirk when he ordered coffee?
A. Beam me up, biscotti!

Q. How does Captain Kirk change a light bulb?
A. He gets Scotty to beam up.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You're afraid to wear a red shirt!

Q. Why didn't the Enterprise's red shirt chicken cross the road?
A. She had a few lines in upcoming episodes.

Q. How many Red Shirts does it take to change a light bulb?
A. At least two. One to replace the bulb, and at least one to be killed off in the dark.

Q. Which red shirt is a good loser?
A. The junior officer playing 3-D chess with his captain.

Q. How does a Vulcan make their favorite beverage?
A. With a T'Bag!

Q. Why did the skeleton chicken cross the Star Trek road?
A. She heard Bones McCoy was on the other side!

When Dr. McCoy finished his examination of Scotty, he said, "I can't find any reason for your stomach pains. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." Mr. Scott replied, "In that case, I'll come back when you're sober."

Q. How many Enterprise doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Damn it Jim. I'm a doctor, not an electrician!

Q. Which kind of beer do Star Trek TOS and TNG fans prefer?
A. Dos Trekkies.

Spock Says: Star Trek Memes Are Illogical!Have you read the book, Chekov: The Navigator? It's byy: I. KiptinQ. What happened when Yeoman Rand said there was a peephole in her cabin door? A. Captain Kirk promised t look into it!

Q. What does Mr. Spock think about all this lively Vulcan humor?
A. I think it's a joke form, Jim, but not as we know it.

Q. How do we know Mr. Spock was the original future hipster?
A. After the spores on Omicron Ceti III activated his emotions, Jill Ireland asked if he had another name. Mr. Spock replied: "Yes, but you could not pronounce it."

Q. Why did Mr. Spock cross the road?
A. In an attempt to see what was so humorous on the other side.

Mr. Spock: A syzygy is three heavenly bodies lined up in a row. Give me an example.
Chekov: Mudd's Women!

Mr. Spock: What is the formula for PI?
Chekov: Err, apple or cherry, sir?

Q. What did Spock say when Chekov asked why he should start a forest campfire while they were stranded on a planet during an ice storm?
A. It's log-ical.

Q. Why did Chekov cross the road?
A. Aye, Captin! Just obeying orders.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your blow-up doll looks like Yeoman Janice Rand.

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekkie?
A. You know Yeoman Rand's cabin number.

Q. Why did the blonde fan love Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty and Sulu so much?
A. 'Cause she had a one-Trek mind.

Q. What does Uhura say when there's a burned out light bulb?
A. Captain, should I hail Home Depot?

Q. Why did Captain Kirk visit the Romulan loo? A. To boldly go where no man has gone before!McCoy Says: Yes, Klingons do work out at the He's Dead Gym!Spock: Sniveling is illogical. Dr. Smith: Unhand me, you mechanical moron!

And, To Boldly Go Watch Star Trek Reruns!

Q. Why did Lieutenant Uhuru look so shocked?
A. Because William Shat-Near Her.

Q. Why did Captain Kirk discontinue his line of women's undies?
A. 'Cause in hindsight, the name Shatner Panties wasn't the best way to go.

Q. Why did Scotty cross the road?
A. 'Cause he was givin' her all she's got, Captain!

Q. How do you know you're a true Trekker?
A. Your dog's name is Bones.

Q. Why did the skeleton chicken cross the Star Trek road?
A. She heard Bones McCoy was on the other side!

Q. What is it called when there's a mutiny aboard the Starship Enterprise NCC 1701?
A. Science Friction.

Q. Why did Lt. Uhura cross the road?
A. To get away from the hail storm!

Q. What would Mr. Spock say to Dr. Smith?
A. I am NOT Dr. Spock!

Q. What did Spock say when he finally got the joke's punch line?
A. Wanting is a better feeling than having.

Q. What does Spock use for birth control?
A. Vulcanized rubbers.

Q. How many V'Ger probes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just the one, but it would have had to have merged with Thomas Edison first.

Q. What does Doctor McCoy say before each new mission? Bones Voyage!Captain Kirk Says: Boldly Go Watch Star Trek Reruns!Why did the chicken cross the road? Obviously, it was the logical thing to do! – Mr Spock

Q. What did Dr. McCoy mumble when he finally went through the time portal gate on Guardian of Forever?
A. "You're all the same. In one era and out the other."

Doctor McCoy: Do you serve crabs here?
Enterprise Mess Officer: Yes sir. Please have a seat.

Q. Why was the guy dressed as a Star Trek doctor booted out of the Sci-Fi convention?
A. Because he wasn't the real McCoy.

Q. What do Sasquatches keep as pets?
A. Tribbles.

McCoy to Captain Kirk: "Should we have a friendly game of cards?" Kirk: "No, let's play poker."

Captain Kirk seldoms laughs, but when he does, it involves Romulan ale.

Q. How can you tell who's a fan of Star Trek TOS and Ancient Aliens?
A. They own a vacation home in Roswell.

Q. What is it called when you can't decide rather to watch Star Trek TOS or TNG?
A. Stuck between a Spock and a Picard space!

Q. Why did the Vulcan rooster cross the road?
A. Because there were Pon Farr chickens on the other side!

Q. Why did the red shirt cross the road?
A. He heard there were a lot of chicks on the other side.

Enterprise Rap of the Day: If the phaser shocker don't rock her, then go ahead a Spock her!

Q. Which sci-fi television series do Vulcans binge watch to ward off Pon Farr?
A. Star Trek, TOS.

| Star Trek TOS Puns | 2 | 3 | Spock Puns | 2 | Star Trek Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Klingon Puns |
| Star Trek TNG Jokes | 2 | 3 | The Borg Jokes | Enterprise Captains | Ladies of Star Trek Jokes |
| Lost in Space Jokes | Space Bar Jokes | Science Fiction Food Jokes | 2 | 3 | Sci-Fi Toilet Jokes |
| Dr Who Jokes, Tardis Puns, Whovian Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Cyberman Jokes | Dalek Puns |
| Star Wars Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Darth Vader Dark Side Humor | Wookiee Puns | Yoda Jokes |
| ET Alien Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Green Spaced Alien Puns | Cows In Space Jokes | Outer Space |
| Science Fiction Doctor Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Cross the Road Jokes | 2 | Sci-Fi Light Bulb Jokes | 2 |
| Science Fiction Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Sci-Fi Pick Up Lines |

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