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Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert? A. He never forgets a phaser!

 


Star Trek Jokes, 7 of 9 Puns, Borg Humor?
Assimilate hive mind humor, galactic puns, and jokes about The Borg that collectively drone on!

Borg Jokes, Star Trek Humor, Futile Puns
(Because Star Trek Jokes Could Never Be Too Mainstream in Sector Zero Zero One)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. 7 of 9 Borgs are NOT funny. Resistance is NOT Futile! Make it SO!
| Star Trek | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Original Series | 2 | 3 | Next Generation | 2 | 3 |
| Spock | 2 | Enterprise Captains | Ladies of Star Trek | Klingons | The Borg |

Blonde Borgs Have Same Fu!Captain Picard Says: We have engaged the borg. The wedding is in two hours!7 of 9 Star Trek Jokes Are Funny!

Blonde Borg point to ponder: Are breast implants the most crucial Borg technology innovation?

Q. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because seven ate nine.

Piccard didn't say this, but Patrick Stewart might have: "I am NOT Borg, but I play one on TV!"

The Borg assimilated my race, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt?

Q. Why shouldn't you try to date Seven of Nine?
A. Because necking is futile.

Q. Why should you think twice about marrying Seven of Nine?
A. You'd have 999,999,999,777 in-laws!

Q Where do the Borg eat fast food? A. At their local Borger King!7 of 9 Borg Jokes Are Not Funny!The Borg assimilated my henhouse and all I got was this lousy occular implant!

Q. What is Borger King's slogan?
A. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.

Q. How did Commander Data describe the Borg?
A.
Cool, calm, and collective.

Q. Why don't Ferrengi make good Borg drones?
A. Their very nature can't be unprogrammed and they can't help saying, "Insert coin for assimilation."

Q. Why shouldn't you try to date Seven of Nine?
A. Because her response to, "Was it good for you?" is always: "Pleasure is irrelevant."

Q. Why should you think twice about marrying Seven of Nine?
A. The Borg can't cook!

I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated.

Q. Why was the chicken the first to cross the road?
A. Because the Borg assimilated the dinosaurs.

Q. Why did the Borg cow cross the road when it saw a UFO?
A. To get to the udder side!

Borg Outtake: I am Darth Vader of Borg. You will be assimilated. It is your dessssstiny!

Q. Why don't the Borg go to prison? A. Because they obey the Lore!Q. How many Borgs does it take to change a light bulb? A. All of them!Q. Why did the Borg cross the road? A. Because it assimilated the chicken!

Q. What does Locutus of Borg say when he meets you?
A. MY name is Borg, James Borg, and I have a license to assimilate.

Q. What is Locutus of Borg's out-going voicemail message?
A. We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. But, we can't take your call right now, so leave a message after the tone and we'll assimilate you later. BEEP.

Q. What do the Borg say while replacing a light bulb?
A. We are the Borg. Resistance = voltage / current.

Q. What did Shakespeare of Borg say?
A. Thou are assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.

Q. What message, etched in stone, did Moses of Borg convey?
A. Actually, there were 11 commandments, with the 11th being: Thou are assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because her starship was assimilated by the Borg.

Q. Why did Riker's chicken only cross the road half way?
A. Because he wanted her to lay it on the line for the Enterprise crew.

Q. What did Locutus of Borg say at the bar?
A. The name is Borg, James Borg. Gin and vodka martini, shaken; the olive is irrelevant!

Did you hear the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? They've engaged the Borg!Q. Why did the Borg cross the road? A. To assimilate the chicken!Q. What is Captain Picard's biggest pet peeve? A. When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folger's crystals!

Q. What did old blue eyes say after he was assimilated by the Borg?
A. I am Sinatra of Borg. Start spreading the news, we're assimilating today. You will be a part of it: New Borg, New Borg.

Q. What would Captain Kirk say if he was assimilated?
A. I am Shatner of Borg. YOU... will... BE... AsSIMilated!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A. To get to the same side.

Q. Why did the Borg chickens cross the Mobius strip?
A. They were pecking around for the Omega molecule.

Q. What does the Borg training manager, 2 of 999,999,997, say?
A. Please complete your assimilation evaluation form.

All time favorite wish it happened Borg quote: "We are Hugh of Borg. We wish to assimilate Troi. Geordi is our friend, so he can watch."

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| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Spock | 2 | TOS | 2 | 3 | TNG | 2 | 3 | Klingon | Borg |
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