Blonde Borg Point to Ponder: Are breast implants the most crucial Borg technology innovation?

Q. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because seven ate nine.

Q. What did Flatulence of Borg say before assimilating his victims?
A. Prepare to pull my finger.

Q. What might you expect if you order a Borg starter kit?
A. Some assimilation required.

Captain Picard didn't say this, but Patrick Stewart might have: "I am NOT Borg, but I play one on TV!"

The Borg assimilated my race, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt?

Q. How fast can a Klingon flee when being chased by the Borg?
A. At Worf Speed.

Q. What is the name of the Borg spreadsheet program?
A. Locutus 1-2-3.

Q. Why shouldn't you try to date Seven of Nine?
A. Because necking is futile.

Q. Why should you think twice about marrying Seven of Nine?
A. You'd have 999,999,999,777 in-laws!

Q. Who sang the touching sci-fi song Assimilate Me Tender?
A. Elvis of Borg.

Q. What does a Borg-Again Christian say?
A. Resistance to my sermonizing is futile.

Q. What is Borger King's slogan?
A. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.

Q. How did Commander Data describe the Borg?
A. Cool, calm, and collective.

Q. Why don't Ferrengi make good Borg drones?
A. Their very nature can't be unprogrammed and they can't help saying, "Insert coin for assimilation."

Q. How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One unit is sufficient.

Q. Why shouldn't you try to date Seven of Nine?
A. Because her response to, "Was it good for you?" is always: "Pleasure is irrelevant."

Q. Why should you think twice about marrying Seven of Nine?
A. The Borg can't cook!

Q. Why did the Borg run the stop sign while crossing the road?
A. Because Borg are unstoppable.

Uncertainty Borg: I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated.

Q. Why was the chicken the first to cross the road?
A. Because the Borg assimilated the dinosaurs.

Q. Why did the Borg cow cross the road when it saw a UFO?
A. To get to the udder side!

Q. How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. It never gets done because they keep sticking a finger in the elecrical socket to recharge themselves.

Borg Outtake: I am Darth Vader of Borg. You will be assimilated. It is your dessssstiny!

Q. What does Locutus of Borg say when he meets you?
A. MY name is Borg, James Borg, and I have a license to assimilate.

Q. What is Locutus of Borg's out-going voicemail message?
A. We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. But, we can't take your call right now, so leave a message after the tone and we'll assimilate you later. BEEP.

All time favorite wish it happened Borg quote: "We are Hugh of Borg. We wish to assimilate Troi. Geordi is our friend, so he can watch."

Q. What do the Borg say while replacing a light bulb?
A. We are the Borg. Resistance = voltage / current.

Q. How many crewmen aboard Star Trek Voyager are capable of changing a light bulb?
A. Seven of Nine.

Q. What did Shakespeare of Borg say?
A. Thou are assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.

Q. Why don't lifelong Star Trek fans ever grow out of it?
A. They were assimilated by the Borg.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because her starship was assimilated by the Borg.

Q. Why did Riker's chicken only cross the road half way?
A. Because he wanted her to lay it on the line for the Enterprise crew.

Q. What did Locutus of Borg say at the bar?
A. The name is Borg, James Borg. Gin and vodka martini, shaken; the olive is irrelevant!

Q. What is Locutus' favorite Pilsner style beer from Denmark?
A. Carlsborg.

Q. What is it called when there's a Borg cube heading your way?
A. Science Friction.

Q. What would Captain Kirk say if he was assimilated?
A. I am Shatner of Borg. YOU... will... BE... AsSIMilated!

Q. What did old blue eyes say after he was assimilated by the Borg?
A. I am Sinatra of Borg. Start spreading the news, we're assimilating today. You will be a part of it: New Borg, New Borg.

Q. What message, etched in stone, did Moses of Borg convey?
A. The 11th commandment stated: Thou are assimilated, my good man. Ye shall not resist, for that is futile.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A. To get to the same side.

Q. Why did the Borg chickens cross the Mobius strip?
A. They were pecking around for the Omega molecule.

Q. How many Borg does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. None. Borg don't change bulbs; they assimilate them.

Q. How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One, but the entire Collective shares the experience.

Q. What does the Borg training manager, 2 of 999,999,997, say?
A. Please complete your assimilation evaluation form.

Q. How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
A. All of them. One to replace the bulb and the rest to assimilate General Electric.

Q. How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Light bulbs are irrelevant and changing them is futile.

Q. How many Borg does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Just one because resistance to change is futile.

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