| Customer:
Waiter, there's a fly in my wine!
Waiter: Yes ma'am, you asked for a house red with a little
body in it.
Fine
Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey there
Red, would you like to plant a vineyard on me?
My
wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit
and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Q.
When shouldn't you serve red wine at room temperature?
A. When you live in an igloo or ice palace.
Fine
Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey there
Red, I'd like nothing more than to lay you sideways.
Wine
Lovers Holiday Wish: May all your Christmases be white,
or red!
It's
Daylight Saving Time! So remember to change your wine clock
from red to white!
Red-Eyed
Stoner Come-On: Hey girl,
your eyes are even greener than the weed I'm smokin'!
Roses
are red, violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and so
do I. |
Q.
What kind of wine does Rudolph the Reindeer prefer?
A. Red! Unless he's on a rooftop, then White!
Q.
What was the name of Rudolph's lesser-known stoner brother
who wintered in Colorado?
A. Ricky, the red-eyed reindeer.
Q.
Why is it so hard to solve a redneck murder?
A. Because the DNA all matches, and there are no dental
records.
Q.
If a blonde and a redneck jump off a skyscraper who will
hit the ground first?
A. The redneck, 'cause the blonde will stop to ask for directions.
Q.
Why did the redneck bodybuilder wear a sleeveless shirt
to the gym?
A. To exercise his right to bear arms.
Q.
Why was the redneck, who liked to shoot guns and drink whiskey,
all bummed out?
A. Because he was all out of shots.
Q.
How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to change a light
bulb?
A. About 10,000 to give the bulb a Cultural Revolution.
|
Q.
Which Sesame Street character was launched into space to
explore the red planet?
A. Mars Grover.
Q.
Which movie proved there will never be life on the Red Planet?
A. Martian Impossible.
Q.
What is a space alien's favorite Disney movie?
A. Snow White and the Red Dwarfs.
Q.
What do you call a land where the people drive only red
cars?
A. A red carnation.
Q.
What is a cow's favorite color?
A. Marooon.
Whiskey
Wisecrack of the Day: Redbull may give you wings, but whiskey
gives you balls.
Did
you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a
beverage? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull.
Bro
at the Bar: Why are you wearing one red sock and one green
sock?
Colorblind Guy: I don't know, but I have another pair just
like these at home. |
