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Drink
Humor, Bar Jokes, Bartender Puns, Beer LOLs
Pour
your personal poison of beer puns, funny bar jokes, brewed laughs and
fine wine humor.
Bartender Jokes, Funny Bar Puns, Wine Humor
('Cause So-beer Jokes,
Dry Bar Puns, and Rye Wit Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream
+ It's Always Happy Hour Here!) |
Warning:
Proceed at Your Own Risk! There's NO legal limit on bar
jokes, bartender puns, and spirited drink jokes.
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Lovers Jokes | 2
| 3 | Women
Drinking Jokes | Manly Drinking Jokes
| Drunken Gnomes |
| Sports Bar Jokes | Animal
Walks Into the Bar | Space Bar Puns
| Scary Drinks | Holiday
Drinks |
An
amnesiac walks into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here
often?"
A
brain walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says,
"Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already out of your
head."
Q.
Why did the Denver cops arrest the craft brewer?
A. He was accused of a-malt and beer-tery.
Deja
Brew: Haven't we been to this beer bar before?
Q.
Why did the tech guy prefer Colorado craft beer?
A. Because his head is in the cloud.
Q.
What is it called when there's a big ruckus in a craft beer
pub about a Painful beer Pun?
A. A real brew ha ha!
Q.
What was the judge's usual order at the bar?
A. Just ice.
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Warning:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to appreciate painful
bar puns, or possible write more of them.
A
magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.
Q.
What do you say when you're gonna drunk dial somebody?
A. Al-cohol you later.
A
nonrenewable energy source walks into a bar. Bartender says,
"Sorry, I can't serve you. You've been getting wasted
all day!"
Spirited
Drinking Game of the Day: One tequila, two tequila, three
tequila, floor.
Q.
What do you call the old owner who won't sell her tavern?
A. Barkeeper.
Q.
What happened when the soldier went to a bar in enemy territory?
A. He got bombed.
|
A
hen walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't
serve chicken here, but there is a place across
the road."
Q.
What did Merlot say after a long day's work?
A. Time to uncork, or at least unwind.
Q.
Why do we love wine puns?
A. Because they're grape!
Q.
What did the wine lover do when he realized he'd already
tasted too much?
A. He ordered a cab.
Q.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
A. The Reds!
Q.
What do you call a basement full of upset women?
A. A whine cellar!
Q.
Why did the kangaroo hop into the bar?
A. He heard they were looking for a bouncer. |
A
black widow drops into the bar. Bartender asks,
"What's your poison?"
A
beer walked into the bar. How weird is that, considering
it's usually trucked in?
Q.
What is it called if you drink tequila inside a cave?
A. A shot in the dark.
Bar
Fly Fact of the Day: The perfect woman is just like vodka
– transparent, ice cold, and utterly tasteless.
Q.
Why didn't the bartender serve the snake?
A. Because he couldn't hold his beer.
Bartender
Fact of the Day: Wise men drink wine. Budweiser men drink
beer. |
A
monk, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender
looks up and says, "Hey! Is this some kind of joke?"
Happy
Hour Point to Ponder: Drinking Jack Daniels might not be
the solution to your problems, but it's worth a shot!
Drunken
Point to Ponder: If you ask a liquor store clerk to help
you find the good Scotch, does that make him your spirit
guide?
Q.
Why is it so hard to perform a comedy act inside a liquor
store?
A. Because everybody there is into BOOze.
Q.
At the bar, what do they say about drinking too much Jack
Daniels?
A. I can't remember.
|
Q.
What do you get if you cross Vincent Van Gogh with George
Thorogood?
A. One bourbon, one scotch, and one ear.
Q.
Why should they allow beer drinking at the workplace?
A. It encourages car pooling.
Beer
Lover Fact of the Day: I drink beer because I just don't
like keeping things bottled up.
Q.
Which kind of beer chronicles everything about itself online?
A. A Logger Beer.
Sports
Bar Laugh of the Day: A baseball flies into a bar, but the
bartender tosses him out... OUCH! |
A
Roman walks into a bar, holds two fingers up to the bartender
and says, "Five beers please."
Q.
How is having a few beers at a sports bar better than a
woman?
A. Beers are always into football season!
Q.
Why did the new craft beer bar sponsor a ladies fast-pitch
team?
A. Just for the publicity.
Dart
Bar Point to Ponder: If the tips of the darts are dull,
is throwing them at the board just pointless?
Q.
What did the dyslexic beer drinker order at the LoDo Denver
craft beer pub?
A. A Large.
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A frigid beer is good! |
A
ghost walks into a brew pub. Beer-tender says, "Sorry,
we don't serve spirits here."
Q.
Are all corner bars haunted?
A. Yes, they are all full of spirits.
Charles
Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender
asks, "Olive or twist?"
Drunken
Words of the Day: Dear Martini, Olive You.
Drinking
Fact of the Day: You might be an alcoholic if you already
knew that National Martini Day is June 19.
Q.
What do you call drink after drink?
A. A twofer.
Q.
What is a monster's Halloween slogan?
A. Eat, drink, and be scary!
|
An
SEO expert walks into a bar, pub, saloon, barroom, tavern,
sports bar, drinking establishment...
Q.
Why didn't the bar's new recipe for vodka-flavored brats
catch on?
A. Because it was the Absolut Wurst!
A
cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The
bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between
7 and 2."
Bar
Warning: The sumconption of alcohol may cause
you to slay things like thish.
Q.
What is the most common pick-up line at a bears' singles
bar?
A. What's ursine?
Q.
What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper
bar?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities. |
A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon.
He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin'
fer the man that shot my paw."
Q.
How did the stoner feel when he fell into a vat of cannabis-infused
vodka?
A. He was in high spirits!
Drunken
Tip of the Day: If you want a promotion at work, just walk
around your office yelling, "Vodka! Tequila! Jack Daniels!"
This makes you the one who calls the shots!
Q.
Why do little spacemen turn green when they land on planet
Earth?
A. Turbulence, and creme de menthe in the drink the grasshopper
bartended served him!
Drunken
Fact of the Day: Drinking the wrong alcohol may make you
absinthe minded. |
A
man walks into a bar. OUCH! You would think he would have
seen it!
Beer
Troubleshooting: If the floor is blurred, you must be looking
through an empty glass. You need to order another beer.
Q.
What does beer say to the guy who tells tall tales?
A. Cool story, Brew!
Clue
You're Drinking a Crude Craft Beer: The brewery isn't running
a sweepstakes, but under every bottle cap it says, "Sorry!"
Q.
How can you spot a Redneck Jedi at a bar?
A. He opened his bottle of Budweiser with a lightsaber.
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A beer always goes down easy!
|
I'm
on a whiskey diet. I think I've lost three days already...
Did
you hear about the guy who couldn't decide between vodka
and whiskey? He was very good at multi-flasking.
Q.
What do you call it when a prisoner drinks vodka out of
a coffee cup?
A. A mug shot!
Q.
How do ya know you're allergic to vodka?
A. Every time you drink it, you break out in handcuffs!
Q.
What do you call a prolonged period of over-imbibing?
A. A Drunkathon.
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer never has a headache. |
|
Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2
| 3 | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes,
Guy In a Bar LOLs |
| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns
| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze
Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes
| Space Bar Puns | Drunken
Holiday Grins | Drunken Gnomes
|
| Beverage Jokes | Soda
Funny Soft Drink Jokes | Coffee Puns,
Java Jokes, Espresso Humor | 2
|
| Waiter Jokes | Restaurant
Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger
Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack
Puns |
You've stumbled in, so here's
another round of laughter,
brewed jokes,
high humor and sober
painful puns that'll pickle
those who overindulge:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Astronaut Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Broncos Jokes |
Chef Puns | Colorado
Jokes | Criminal Puns | Hipster
Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Manly
Man Jokes | Music Jokes | Pickled
Puns | Pirate Jokes | Police
Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Saturday Puns | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Weed
Jokes | Zombie Jokes |
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