Best way to choose which beer to drink: a case by case basis   PainfulPuns.com - Bartender Puns, Beer Jokes, Bar Humor!

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Painless Drinking Jokes & Bartender Puns
Pick your personal poison from our beer memes, wine humor, and funny bar jokes!

Bartender Puns, Bar Jokes, Drunken Humor
(Because Sober Jokes Are Too Mainstream and It's Always Happy Hour Here)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. There is no legal limit on laughter and spirited jokes.
Bartender Jokes and Drinking Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 |

Beer Pun: Never Drink Past the Pint of No ReturnFour fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get out. We don't want your type in here."Q. What is the world's most popular wine? A. I don't like Brussels sprouts!

An amnesiac walks into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.

Q. What do you call a basement full of upset women?
A. A whine cellar!

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"Bartender was arrested for taking liquor home. He was charged with emboozlement!Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender replies: "I can't serve you. You're Bard."

Q. Why didn't the bartender serve the snake?
A. Because he couldn't hold his beer

A monk, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey! Is this some kind of joke?"

A baseball walks into a bar, and the bartender throws him out...

What is the gambler's heaven? Pair O' DiceNever Drink with Ghosts. Because they can't handle their boo!A man with a lump of asphalt under one arm walks into a bar, orders a whiskey, and one for the road.

A Roman walks into a bar, holds two fingers up to the bartender and says, "Five beers please."

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7 and 2."

Q. What Do You Call a Man Who Drinks and Falls Off His Horse? A. Wine-Stoned CowboyDid you hear about the optician? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.Go Gnome! You're Drunk!

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A man walks into a bar. OUCH! You would have thought he would have seen it!

I’m on a whiskey diet. I think I've lost three days already...

Bartender Jokes and Drinking Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 |

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