Drinking Jokes, Connoisseur Puns, Vino LOLs
some laughs with fine wine jokes, humor grapeness, vineyard laughs and
Proceed with Due Caution! Bottled up humor, vintage vino jokes,
and corky wine puns ahead.
Wine Humor, Grape Puns, Wine Lovers Jokes
(Because Cheesy Wine Jokes
Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and It's Always Wine
O'Clock Here! Cheers!)
| Wine Lover Jokes | 2
| 3 | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes
| Holiday Drink Jokes |
| Spirited Liquor Humor | Vodka
Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes
| Cocktail Puns | Drunken
| Cold Beer Jokes | Ale-ful
Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Beer
IS Better Than... | Bartender
| Sports Bar Jokes | Animal
Walks Into the Bar | Space Bar Puns
| Scary Drinks | Bar
What did Merlot say after a long day's work?
A. Time to uncork, or at least unwind.
Do we feature painful wine puns here?
A. You can bet Shiraz we do!
drank so much wine last night, that when I walked across
the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.
Which day of the week do vintners celebrate?
What did the wise aged bottle of wine say to the bottle
of wine that lost its cork?
A. Don't worry. Everything happens for a Riesling.
can't buy happiness. Are you kidding? Yes it can, if you
use it to buy Merlot!
How did the Merlot star feel after its cabernet performance
A. On Cloud Wine!
What did the bottle of Merlot say when he cannonballed into
A. Bottoms up!
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
Fun Fact of the Day: Wine flies when you're having fun!
Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey girl,
I've heard drinking wine makes me look sexy, so have another
NYC folks hail taxis. In Napa Valley, they hail cabs.
Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey bae,
you are as intoxicating as fortified wine!
How did the Chablis feel after its performance?
A. On cloud wine.
you know that wine does not make you fat? In fact, it makes
you lean ... against walls, chairs, tables, and ugly people.
When shouldn't you serve red wine at room temperature?
A. When you live in an igloo or ice palace.
victory, you deserve champagne. In defeat, you need it.
– Napoleon Bonapart.
lover's welcome mat reads: "We only serve the finest
vintage wines. Did you bring any?"
How can you change wine to urine, and
lemons to demons?
A. Sloppy cursive.
much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just
– Mark Twain.
What are Moms made of?
A. Coffee, wine, and everything fine.
Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe,
I'd like to go inside your cellar and pull me out a stiff
What sort of comments did the vintner mumble after he didn't
win the wine competition?
A. Sour grapes.
When is National Wine Day?
A. Seriously? When isn't it?
do not like whiny and cheesy people, but I DO like
wine and cheese people!
Why are the cheese and the wine such good friends?
A. Because they pair so well together.
Daylight Saving Time! So remember to change your wine clock
from red to white!
keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions.
Sometimes, the special occasion is that you've got a bottle
of Champagne in the fridge.
– Hester Browne.
Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.
– Alexander Fleming.
What do snooty connoisseurs call French bread with a wine-like
A. Nose scones.
What did the green wine grape say to the purple grape?
A. Breathe, Breathe!
is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course,
you happen to be a bottle of wine.
– Joan Collins.
comes a point during the day, when whatever the question
is, the only answer is wine.
I knocked over a glass of chablis, but it wasn't much to
Where do wine connoisseurs lock up their vino collection?
A. In a wine cabernet.
Factoid of the Day: Wine is Win followed
up with a little e. True story.
children takes a village, preferably a village with a lot
What time do ladies drink wine?
A. At Wine O'Clock.
don't need a reason to enjoy a little wine. I just need
What did the wine lover do when realized he'd already tasted
A. He ordered a cab!
Wisdom: I decide which wine vintage to drink on a case by
How do you know vino is fickle?
A. It's motto is: Love the Wine Your With.
Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2
| 3 | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes,
Guy In a Bar LOLs |
Whine. More Wine!
What is the difference between a bottle of wine and a prostitute?
A. The older the bottle of wine, the more you have to pay
tried cooking with wine, but it didn't go that well. After
five glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen to
Why was the Interlaken grape so sad now?
A. Because it was just crushed.
Wine Point to Ponder: My doctor told me to drink two glasses
of red wine after a hot bath. But, I can't even finish drinking
is just an illusion that occurs due to a lack of wine.
Why aren't wine grapes ever lonely?
A. Because they come in bunches.
never owned a vineyard, but I'm pretty sure I've drank an
entire one by now...
lips are like wine and I want to get drunk.
– William Shakespeare.
Wine Fact of the Day: Men are like fine wine. They start
out as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the crap out
of them until they turn into something acceptable to have
What is the best thing about wine?
guy said this non-alchoholic wine was delcious, but I said
he had no proof.
Should you enjoy a glass of red before noon?
A. Wine not!
Point to Ponder: Sometimes I think I'm a bad mother because
I don't like wine?
Where do grapes go for a quick breakfast?
A. To a winer.
truck carrying red wine vinegar collided with an olive oil
truck at the nudist camp. First responders reported everyone
there was well dressed.
| Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka
Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Drunk
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns
| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze
Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes
| Space Bar Puns | Drunken
Holiday Grins | Drunken Gnomes
| Beverage Jokes | Soda
Funny Soft Drink Jokes | Coffee Puns,
Java Jokes, Espresso Humor | 2
| Waiter Jokes | Restaurant
Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger
Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack
You've red this far,
so here's a Riesling for more
bottoms up laughter,
vintage humor, and grape
painful puns that pair well
with cheesy jokes:
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
Alcoholic Humor | Blonde
Jokes | Chef Puns | Chocolate
Puns | Colorado Jokes | Hand
Jokes | Hipster Jokes |
| Love Jokes | Man
LOLs | Music Jokes | Online
Dating LOLs | Pee Puns |
Police Jokes | Red
Puns | Religion Jokes |
| Saturday Puns | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Sports Jokes | Sun
Puns | Travel Jokes | Weed
LOLs | Wig Puns | Woman
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