Chimp looking at beer bottle says: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!   PainfulPuns.com - Bartender Puns, Beer Jokes, Bar Humor!

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Chimp looking at beer bottle says: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!
Beer mugs ask: What has eight arms and an IQ of 80? Four guys drinking beer and watching a football game!
Beer Bottle Says:: Hello Saturday, So Glad You're Here Again!
Pitcher of beer asks: What do you call it when the whole town drinks from the same barrel? A cask of thousands!
Chimp remarks: Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean...on tables, chairs, and random people!

 


Case-in-Point Beer Jokes and Light Beer Puns
Tap into beer-ly legal puns, brewed laughter, sudsy humor and crafty draft beer jokes!

Beer Humor, Crafty Beer Jokes, Brewed Puns
(Because Barley Funny Jokes Ale-ing Puns Are TOO Mainstream and It's Always Hoppy Hour Here in Beer Town!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! There's no legal limit on laughter, but NO public drunkenness allowed!
| Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2 | 3 | Beverage Puns | Soda Funny | Coffee Puns, Java Jokes | 2 |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Puns, Sci-Fi Bartender Jokes | Drunken Gnomes |
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor, Brewed Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Bar Pick-Up Lines |

You might be from Colorado if you enjoy craft beers with punny names!Q. How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb? A. One one, but it takes a butt load of Bud Light!Q. How many brewers does it take to change alight bulb? A. One-third less than for a regular bulb!

Six-pack abs are cool and all, but have you tried craft beer?

Q. Why is it smarter to smoke weed than to drink beer?
A. 'Cause Bud weiser.

Q. What do you get if your cross a bear and a deer?
A. Some insane new Colorado craft beer. And it's usually served with Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Q. What is it called when there's a big ruckus in a craft beer pub about a Painful beer Pun?
A. A real brew ha ha!

Brew Pub Boos of the Day: This craft beer is not ale it's cracked up to be.

The speed of light is when you take a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator before the light comes on.

Today's Smart Beer Tip: Always remember it's I before E, unless it's Budweiser!

Eco Brew Pun of the Day: Save the ales!

Beer Lover Wisdom: When I was young, I used to drink all kinds of beer. But, now I'm older Budweiser.

Loyal Beer Drinker Sentiment: I'll be Bock!

Q. How is a case of craft beers better than a woman?
A. You can sample different beers and not feel guilty about it.

Postcard from the Colorado Brew Pub: Wish you were beer.

Craft Beer Fact of the Day: Home brewing isn't a sign of alcholism. It's a hobby!

The answer may not be at the bottom of a beer bottle, but you should always check.

Craft Beer Fact of the Day: Beer is made with hops. Hops is a plant. Therefore, beer is salad!

Q. How is a can of beer better than a woman?
A. If a beer goes flat, you can just toss it.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer is always hoppy to see you.

Q. What does a vampire on a diet drink? A. Blood Light!Monday morning coffee is just as important as Friday night beer...almost!Best way to choose which beer to drink: a case by case basis

Q. Why is beer better than a woman?
A. Because beer doesn't mind if you butt dial at 2:00 in the morning.

I want my last words to be "Hold my beer and watch this..."

Q. How is a keg of beer better than a woman?
A. You can fully enjoy a beer all month long.

Beer, because you don't make new friends with salad.

Q. Why is a beer better than religion?
A. No one will kill you for drinking beer, or not drinking beer.

Q. Why is beer better than a woman?
A. Because beer likes when you joke about it on social media.

Bacon cannot solve all our problems. That's what beer is for.

A recent study found that Americans walk an average of 900 miles per year. Another study states we drink 22 gallons of beer. That's about 41 miles per gallon. Good job!

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A frigid beer is good!

My favorite bottled water is called Beer.

If at first you don't succeed, try a bottle opener. It probably wasn't a twist-top.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
– Stephen Wright

Q. Why did the Colorado brewer name his new craft beer Rocky Mountain Wry?
A. Because it's a real barrel of laughs!

This beer tastes like I'm not going to work tomorrow.

Q. Why is beer better than a religion?
A. Because beer doesn't care if you sleep in late on Sunday morning.

Chimp with a Beer Mug Says: Happy Wet's Day!A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "$4." Duck replies: "Put it on my bill."Beer-Drinking Chimp Says: Happy Bent-Day!

Brewed Up Slogan of the Day: Beer! Drink all you want, they'll make more!

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could have become beer, but did not.

Q. What do crafty Denverites call a group of young kids dressed like ghosts for Halloween?
A. A micro-boo-ery.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. When you're through with one beer, the thought of another doesn't make you sick.

Q. Why is a beer better than religion?
A. Beer doesn't care how you have sex.

Beer is not a luxury; it is a time of day.

Q. Which kind of beer does Homer Simpson order at Moe's?
A. DOH! Flanders Red Ale.

A skunk ambles into Wynkoop Brewing Company in Denver and asks the beer-tender, "Hey, where did everybody go?"

Q. Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
A. Hebrews.

Q. Why is a beer better than religion?
A. Nobody has ever been crucified, burned at the stake, or hanged due to which craft beer they drink.

Q. What do you call a man with a pint of Labatt on his head?
A. A taxi. Clearly, he's had too much to drink and is being a nuisance.

Q. At the craft beer pub in Breckenridge, Colorado what is the drunk guy's favorite kind of skis?
A. Brewskies!

Q. What is one difference between beer and women?
A. Beer makes you happy for nothing, and women make you angry for nothing.

Q. Why is a beer better than religion?
A. Beer has never caused a major war.

Beer Drinking Chimp Says: Hello Saturday, glad we're here again, my dear friend!Glass of Beer Says: Happy Mug Day!Q. What do you call a thick spicy holiday beverage that's served from barrels? A. Keg Nog!

It's Saturday! The toughest decision you need to make is bottle or draft.

Beer Fact of the Day: Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. YES is the answer.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer!

Beer: The reason I wake up every afternoon.

Q. What does a pirate call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles?
A. Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads.

Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine.
– David Moulton.

Q. What did the dyslexic beer drinker order at the bar?
A. A Large.

Beer, because you can't drink bacon!

Q. What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
A. The sofa doesn't keep asking for Bud Light!

Q. Why is a beer better than religion?
A. Beer is not forced onto minors who cannot think for themselves.

Q. How do you know somebody is really into craft beer?
A. Don't worry, they'll tell you!

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer looks the same in the morning!

People who say you're hard to shop for, maybe don't know where to buy beer.

Beer-Tender Fact of the Day: Wise men drink wine. Budweiser men drink beer.

Does drinking green beer on St. Patrick's Day count as a vegetable?

Q. What is a tree's favorite beverage?
A. Root Beer.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

Q. Why is a keg of beer better than religion?
A. You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer!

| Beer Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Bartender Puns | 2 | 3 |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2 | 3 | Spirited Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2 | 3 | Beverage Puns | Soda Funny | Coffee Puns, Java Jokes | 2 |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes | Space Bar Puns, Sci-Fi Bartender Jokes | Drunken Gnomes |
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor, Brewed Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Restaurant Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack Puns | Munchies Jokes |


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