Q. Where do vampires get all their jokes? A. From crypt Writers!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What is a vampire's favorite fast food? A. A person with really high blood pressure!


Vampire Humor, Bloody Funny Puns, Joke Bites
4 out of 5 blood suckers enjoy our killer jokes, ghoulish humor, and cryptic puns!

Dracula Humor, Vampire Jokes, Batty Puns
('Cause Vampire Jokes, Hypnotic Halloween Humor, and Biting Puns Are Never Main Bloodstream Enough)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Deadly Humor, Batty Vampire Jokes, and Hellish Puns Lie Dead Ahead.
| Halloween | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Ghost | Monster | 2 | 3 | Witch |
| Sasquatch | 2 | Skeleton | 2 | Vampire | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Blood | 2 |
Brains | 2 |

Q. How does a vampire ask for a date? A. Let's go out for a bite!Q. Why did a vampire drive on the highway? A. He was told it was a main artery!Q. What is a vampire's favorite dance? A. The Fangdango!

Q. What is a vampire's favorite dance?
A. The Fango!

Q. How do vampires get around?
A. On blood vessels.

Q. Where do blood-sucking vampire comedians get their best jokes?
From a crypt writer.

Q. What do you get if you cross a laptop and a vampire?
A. Love at first byte.

Q. Why is Hollywood full of vampires?
They need someone to do bit parts!

Do beginning vampires have to go to batting practice?

Q. Why is a vampire good to take out for a meal? A. Because they eat necks to nothing!Q. What is a vampire's favorite soup? A. Scream of Tomato!Q. How did a ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So Long, Sucker!

Q. Why do vampires hate arguments?
A. Because they don't want to get cross.

Q. What do you call a vampire addict?
Count Drugula.

On reflection, vampires aren't that scary!

Q. What do you call it when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem!

Q. What do you call a short vampire? A. A pain in the knee!Q. How are vampires artistic? A. They're good at drawing blood!Q. What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula? A. Join His Fang Club!

Q. Why do people hate being bitten by vampires so much?
A. Because it's a drain in the neck!

Q. Why did the vampire flunk out of art school?
A. Because he could only draw blood!

Q. How did the vampire die of a broken heart?
He loved in vein.

Q. What's a vampire's favorite drink? A. A Bloody Mary!Q. Why are vampires so easy to fool? A. Because they're suckers!Q. What does a vampire take for a bad cold? A. Coffin Drops!

Q. What did the three vampires order at the bar?
A. Two Bloods and a Blood Light.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire and a school teacher?
A. Lots of blood tests.

Q. Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
A. To confirm she was his type.

Scary Funny Puns | Frightful Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| Halloween | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Halloween Treats | Ghost | Monster | 2 | 3 | Witch |
| Sasquatch | 2 | Skeleton | 2 | Vampire | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Blood | 2 |
Brains | 2 |

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