Q. What did the vampire say after reading all these painful puns? A. They Suck!   PainfulPuns.com - Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes, Deadly LOL!

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Q. What is the monster's favorite day of the week? A. Freak Day!
Vampire Says: Monday Sucks!
What is the scariest day of the week? Boos Day!

 


Friday the 13th Jokes, Deadly Puns, Killer Comedy
4 out of 5 Jasons agree bloody scary jokes, frightful Friday humor, and deadly puns are killer!

Fright Day the 13th Puns and Friday Horror Humor
(Because Killer Come-A-Day and Bloody Funny Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream on Friday the 13th!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Killer jokes, frightful 13th humor, and horror-ble puns kill dead ahead.
| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

The only day worse than Friday the 13th is Monday the 13th!Q. what is a serial killer's favorite day of the month? A. Fri-die the 13th!Q. What is a vampire's favorite day of the month? A. Friday the 13th!

Deadly Pun of the Month: When Jason Voorhees tells a joke, it's really killer!

Q. Which spa treatment should you avoid on Friday the 13th?
A. Eyes Cream.

Deadly Funny Thought of the Day: It may be Friday the 13th, but it's still Friday and there's a reason to boogey, man!

Q. What do demented demon spirits sing on Friday the 13th?
A. Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow.

Q. Why is Friday the 13th is a great day to be alive?
A. Because you didn't get hit by a bus on Thursday the 12th!

Q. Who wrote the book, Thirteen Is My Lucky Number?
A. J. Sonvoor Hees.

Q. What do people say on Friday the 13th when Voorhees is after them?
A. Stop Jason Me!

Q. Which dessert do pirates avoid on Friday the 13th?
A. Aye Scream.

Q. Which day of the month do morticians live for?
A. Fri-Die Day the 13th.

Happy Fiend Day the 13th!Q. What is a zombie's favorite day of the week? Fray Day!Vampire Says: Happy Fiend Day!

Q. Which day of the month does Jason Voorhees anxiously await?
A. Fri-Die the 13th.

The Number 13 walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we can't serve you. You're under 21."

Q. Which day of the month keeps undertakers the busiest?
A. Fri-Die Day the 13th.

Q. What do you call a vicious ruffian who constantly does wicked things on Friday the 13th?
A. The brute of all evil.

Q. Why do smart zombies absolutely love Friday the 13th?
A. Because the brainy living are only watching out for Jason and aren't suspecting a zombie attack!

Q. What do dyslexic demonic spirits sing on New Year's Eve to ensure a killer new year?
A. Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow.

Q. What happened after the dancer was killed at the stripper bar on Friday the 13th?
A. Now the place is haunted with en-tities.

Q. What is even worse than Friday the 13th?
A. Monday the 13th. OUCH!

Grandpa Munster Says: Happy Moan Day!Mummy Head Says: Happy Fright Day!Q. What is a detective's favorite day of the week? A. Why Day!

Q. When does a monster's work week begin?
A. On Moan Day!

Q. Which day of the week do corporate witch bosses like best?
A. Moan Day.

Q. When does a monster's work week end?
A. On Fright Day!

Q. Why is Fright Day the 13th is a great day to be alive?
A. Because you weren't struck by lightning on Thors Day the 12th!

Q. What dessert should you always avoid on Friday the 13th?
A. Ice Scream!

Q. Which day of the month do 100% of coven members like best?
A. Friday the 13th (A coven is 13 witches.)

Vampire Says: Happy Foe Day!Q. What is a serial killer's favorite day of the week? A. Die Day!Vampire Says: Happy Die Day!

Q. What did a black cat say to a construction worker on Friday the 13th?
A. Fine, just walk around that ladder; I'll just cross your path in a moment.

Q. What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard on Friday the 13th?
A. Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

Q. What do you get if you cross Jason Voorhees and a bowl of oatmeal?
A. A cereal killer!

Q. Which day of the month do serial killers look forward to?
A. Fri-Die the 13th.

Q. Which kind of shoes does Jason wear?
A. Crocs!

Q. What is even scarier than Friday the 13th?
A. Monday the whatever...

Did you know that there are 13 steps leading up to a gallows and 13 knots in a hangman's noose?

Frightful Pointer of the Day: If you think the 13th floor is scary, stay away from basement level 666!

| Scary Funny Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Scary Pick-Up Lines |
| Haunted Halloween Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Funny Halloween Treats | Halloween Music Jokes |
| Ghost Jokes | Monster Jokes | 2 | 3 | Mummy Puns | Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Scary Witch Humor |
| Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Deadly Cemetery Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes |

| Scary Animal Jokes | Bigfoot Sightings | 2 | Undead Puns and Zombie Jokes | Brain Puns | 2 |
| Vampire Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Vampire Arts | Bloody Funny | 2 | Friday the 13th Humor |

| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Daily Jokes | Old Never Die Jokes | Chilling Winter Humor |


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You're still alive, so here's even more
deadly humor, gruesome grins,
killer jokes, and scary painful puns to make your blood curdle on Fridays:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Actor Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Beer Jokes | Candy Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Diet Puns |
| Friday Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns | Police Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Shrink Humor | Sports Puns | Superhero Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Edible Puns, Fun with Food Monstrously Funny Puns Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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