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Q. What is a
tornado's
favorite party
game?

A. Twister!

Q. Where do you go in Denver if there's a tornado? A. The field at Mile High. They never get touchdowns there...

Q. Where do
hail stones
go on a date?

A. To Hell!


Tornado Says: Happy Wind's Day!
Gnome in a tornado!

 

 


Thunderstorm Jokes, Cloudy Humor, Tornado Puns
Weather the storm with striking lightning jokes, ominous thunder humor, and hail-arious puns.

Lightning Jokes, Thunder Puns, Hail Storm Humor
(Because Lightning Jokes and Thunder Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream – After the Tornado Sirens Stop!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Flashy lightning jokes, dark cloud humor, and twisted tornado puns ahead.
| Thunderstorm Jokes | Weather Jokes and Weatherman Humor | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes |
| Hot Jokes, Heated Humor | Cold Jokes, Cool Laughs | Cold Winter Jokes | Winter Come Ons |
| Hot Summer Humor | Science Jokes | Scientist Humor | Chemistry Jokes | Physicist Jokes |

Q. Why was the evening weatherman so worried? A. He was afraid the new meteorologist would steal his thunder!
 

Q. How do
lightning
bolts flirt?

A. They
electro-cute
each other.

 
Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A. The scientists were brainstorming!

Q. What is it called when a storm's noises completely scare you?
A. Thunder-whelming.

Q. If a band is playing at Redrocks during a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
A. The Conductor!

Q. Why did the meteorologists name their bowling team Lightning?
A. Because they get so many strikes.

Did you hear about the unfortunate weather chaser who recently died? His last photos of lightning were really quite striking, though.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever smoke weed during a thunderstorm?
A. 'Cause lightning hits the highest thing in sight!

Q. What is the first thing Thunder said during the sudden lightning storm?
A. Boom-shaka-laka!

Q. How does a guy lightning bolt feel when he meets a hot lady lighting bolt?
A. Thunderstruck!

Q. What happened when they ended the concert at Redrocks Amphitheatre because a thunderstorm approached?
A. The audience left with reckless a-band-done.

A gray storm cloud blows into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, I can't sevw you. You're thunder-age."

Thor Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, did you know lightning is a million times hotter than the sun?

Q. What kind of music are lightning bolts most attracted to?
A. Metal.

Q. What does a well-dressed cloud wear beneath it's raincoat?
A. Thunder-wear!

Q. What did the rapper lightning bolt rap to the old oak tree?
A. Hang onto your bark, dis ain't no ordinary spark.

Q. Why do fashion models always smile during thunderstorms?
A. Because they think they're having their pictures taken.

Q. What is it called when big hairy spiders rain down out of the sky?
A. A tarantula downpour!

Q. What do lightning bolts
do when
they laugh?

A. They
crack up!

 
Q. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.
 

Q. Why did
the lightning
bolt gasp
at the news?

A. It found everything shocking.

Q. Why shouldn't you bother fighting with a thundercloud?
A. He'll just go and storm out.

Q. What do baby clouds want to be when they grow up?
A. Thunderstorms!

Q. Why do raindrops like lightning storms at night?
A. Because they can see where they're going.

Q. What happened when the guy's spouse was struck by lighttning?
A. His entire wife flashed in front of him.

Q. How does it feel to be struck by lightning?
A. Shockingly powerful, and it really hertz!

Q. What do you call a wet bruin after a fast-moving thunder shower?
A. A drizzly bear.

Q. What did the modest thunder say to the flamboyant lightning?
A. Please stop flashing!

Thor Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, I don't need to summon thunder to light you up!

Q. What's the difference between a horse and a thunderstorm?
A. One is reined up, while the other rains down.

Q. Why did the guy say his wfe drove like lightning?
A. 'Cause she hits a lot of trees.

Cloudy Thunderstorm Point to Ponder: Why do they call it Right As Rain, if you're all wet?

Q. Why shouldn't you be embarrassed to fart while you pee?
A. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder.

Q. What did Thunder say when it finally got the last shocking storm joke?
A. Now I feel so enlightning-ed.

Q. What happens when lightning hits a tall cellphone structure?
A. A tower outage.

Q. What does a ghost in a thunderstorm wear when it’s pouring outside?
A. Rain BOOts.

Q. Why is Fright Day the 13th a great day to be alive?
A. Because you weren't struck by lightning on Thors Day the 12th!

Shocking Thunderstorm Fact: When your neighbor's house gets struck by lightning, it really hits close to home.

Q. Can bees fly during a thunder shower?
A. Not without their yellow jackets.

You might be from Colorado if hail freaks you out so bad that you have a hard time getting a cab!
 

Q. Where can
a tornado
be jailed?

A. In a high
pressure cell.

 
Q. What does a thunder cloud give out on Valentine's Day? A. A box of shock-lates!

Q. How did the hailstone describe its life?
A. I've really had a lot of ups and downs.

Q. Which weather is even more destructive than raining buckets?
A. Hailing taxis.

Q. What did the Colorado hail storm say to the roof?
A. Hang onto your shingles 'cause this isn't ordinary sprinkles.

In Colorado, if you don't get hit by lightning or hail, you might as well just go along with the flow.

Q. Why did Lt. Uhura cross the road?
A. To get away from the hail storm!

Q. How do you wrap up a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. With a rainbow.

Q. What is a powerful thunderstorm with damaging hail called?
A. A rain of terror.

Striking Point to Ponder: A conspiracy theorist was hit by lightning. Coincidence, or not?

Q. What do weathermen call a tornado that doesn't touch down?
A. A tornadon't.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the tornado?
A. For shoplifting!

Q. How are tornadoes and women alike?
A. Both moan like hell when they come, and take they house when they go.

Q. What happened to the cow that was drawn up into the tornado?
A. Udder disaster!

Q. What do a tornado, a hurricane, and a redneck divorce have in common?
A. In the end, someone is gonna lose a house trailer.

Q. What happened after a tornado blew through the local cemetery?
A. Hundreds turned up dead.

Q. What did one tornado say to another?
A. Let's twist again, like we did last summer.

Q. What is it called when a tornado rips off 1/4 off your roof?
A. Oof!

Q. Where do amorous lightning bolts go to hook up?
A. Cloud Nine.

Q. Which kind of lightning is drawn to athletic events?
A. Ball lightning.

Q. What do high country horses in Colorado see before they hear thunder?
A. A lightning colt.

Q. What did one raindrop say to another on the playground?
A. My Plop is bigger than your Plop!

Q. What does it mean when a guy says that he has lightning fast reflexes?
A. That's bro code for premature ejaculation.

Q. Why did the dirtbag have a bolt of lightning tattooed onto his dick?
A. 'Casue lightning only strikes the same place once.

Q. Why are lightning jokes so short?
A. 'Cause they're gone in a flash.

Q. Why is it hard to hire lightning?
A. 'Cause it's always on strike.

Q. Which kind
of music do lightning bolts like best?

A.
Rock and Roll.

 
Q. What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the hull? A. Capain, we are being hailed!
 

Q. What
is a tornado?

A. Just
Mother Nature doing
the Twist.

Q. What's the difference between a vampire with a toothache and a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. One roars in pain, and the other pours in rain.

Q. Why do thunderclouds like tV game shows?
A. They really enjoy the quick moving lightning round.

Q. Why was the lightning bolt featured on the TV news?
A. Are you sure you want to know? The event was truly shocking...

Q. Why do the Denver Broncos have two mascots, Thunder and Miles?
A. To distract the fans from any horsing around during the game.

Q. Why did the hens stay indoors during the severe thunder and lightning?
A. Because it was fowl weather.

Q. What did one raindrop say to another?
A. Two's company, three's a cloud.

Q. What does it mean if your kitchen kettle sounds like wind and thunder?
A. A storm is brewing.

Q. Why did Captain America wait so long to carry Thor's hammer?
A. Captain Amrica didn't want to steal his thunder.

Hurricane Pck-Up Line: Hey baby, I've got my eye on you.

Q. What do ranches call a cow that's been hit by lightning?
A. Ground beef.

Q. Why aren't the Amish frightened by lightning?
A. 'Cause they resist electricity.

Q. How do hail stones invest their money?
A. In a combination of liquid and frozen assets.

Q. How are onions and hail stones alike?
A. Both are whitish, both have layers, and both really stink when they hit your car!

Q. Why was the watermelon so jealous of the pea, the golf ball, and the baseball?
A. Because there's no category for watermelon-sized hail!

Q. How can you tell if a used car has been in a Colorado hail storm?
A. Look for the evi-dents.

You're having a great summer in Colorado if: You have NOT had to utter the phrase, What the Hail!

Q. Which Olympic sport do hail stones and raindrops enjoy most?
A. Diving.

Q. What is a king's favorite form of precipitation?
A. Hail!

Q. What do you call all that crowd noise at the Denver Broncos stadium?
A. Mile High Thunder.

Q. What did ancient alchemists call the Norse god who starting writing epic tales after being struck by lightning?
A. AU Thor.

Q. What is it like to be carried away by a tornado?
A. It sucks.

Q. What happened when the President was injured by a tornado?
A. Not much since his spin doctor was there to aid him.

Q. Why should you avoid tornado chasers?
A. Because they're always passing wind.

Inclement Weather One-Liner of the Day: A tornado walks into a bar and orders a hurricane...

Q. What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A. I'm taking you for a quick spin!

News Flash! A powerful tornado tore through town last night. So far, eight bodies have been recovered. Plot twister: It only damaged the local graveyard.

Q. Why do tornadoes move so erratically?
A. Because they're really dizzy!

Q. Who is a tornado's best friend?
A. A twisted sister.

Q. How is severe weather season like Christmas?
A. Regular television programs are preempted for specials.

Q. What did the bratty twister say to its tornado parents?
A. Nothing. It just stormed off.

Q. Why couldn't the guy repeat the tornado joke he just heard?
A. 'Cause it was a real tongue twister.

Q. What happened after a tornado destroyed the henouses?
A. The farmer doesn't think he'll be able to recoup his losses.

Q. What do cattlemen call it when a tornado hits a feed lot? ?
A. A shit storm.

Q. What kind of coffee do tornadoes like best?
A. House blend.

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