What's the difference between a vampire with a toothache
and a Colorado thunderstorm?
A. One roars in pain, and the other pours in rain.
Why do thunderclouds like tV game shows?
A. They really enjoy the quick moving lightning round.
Why was the lightning bolt featured on the TV news?
A. Are you sure you want to know? The event was truly shocking...
Why do the Denver Broncos have two mascots, Thunder
A. To distract the fans from any horsing around during the
Why did the hens stay indoors during the severe thunder
A. Because it was fowl weather.
What did one raindrop say to another?
A. Two's company, three's a cloud.
What does it mean if your kitchen kettle sounds like wind
A. A storm is brewing.
Why did Captain America wait so long to carry Thor's hammer?
A. Captain Amrica didn't want to steal his thunder.
Pck-Up Line: Hey baby, I've got
my eye on you.
What do ranches call a cow that's been hit by lightning?
A. Ground beef.
Why aren't the Amish frightened by lightning?
A. 'Cause they resist electricity.
How do hail stones invest their money?
A. In a combination of liquid and frozen assets.
How are onions and hail stones alike?
A. Both are whitish, both have layers, and both really stink
when they hit your car!
Why was the watermelon so jealous of the pea, the golf ball,
and the baseball?
A. Because there's no category for watermelon-sized hail!
How can you tell if a used car has been in a Colorado hail
A. Look for the evi-dents.
having a great summer in Colorado if: You have NOT had to
utter the phrase, What the Hail!
Which Olympic sport do hail stones and raindrops enjoy most?
What is a king's favorite form of precipitation?
What do you call all that crowd noise at the Denver Broncos
A. Mile High Thunder.
What did ancient alchemists call the Norse god who starting
writing epic tales after being struck by lightning?
A. AU Thor.
What is it like to be carried away by a tornado?
A. It sucks.
What happened when the President was injured by a tornado?
A. Not much since his spin doctor was there to aid him.
Why should you avoid tornado chasers?
A. Because they're always passing wind.
Weather One-Liner of the Day: A tornado walks into a bar
and orders a hurricane...
What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A. I'm taking you for a quick spin!
Flash! A powerful tornado tore through town last night.
So far, eight bodies have been recovered. Plot twister:
It only damaged the local graveyard.
Why do tornadoes move so erratically?
A. Because they're really dizzy!
Who is a tornado's best friend?
A. A twisted sister.
How is severe weather season like Christmas?
A. Regular television programs are preempted for specials.
What did the bratty twister say to its tornado parents?
A. Nothing. It just stormed off.
Why couldn't the guy repeat the tornado joke he just heard?
A. 'Cause it was a real tongue twister.
What happened after a tornado destroyed the henouses?
A. The farmer doesn't think he'll be able to recoup his
What do cattlemen call it when a tornado hits a feed lot?
A. A shit storm.
What kind of coffee do tornadoes like best?
A. House blend.