Q.
Why did the gardener stop using his machete to clear his
way through his overgrown backyard plot?
A. Because he couldn't hack it.
Today's
Garden Tragedy: I used to be a gardener, but I lost the
plot.
Q.
What is a gardener's least fave British Invasion tribute
band?
A. The Japanese Beetles!
Q.
Why did the gardener quit?
A. His celery wasn’t high enough.
Q.
How do you know you're a master gardener?
A. You plan your vacation to hit every arboretum, botanical
garden, and eco park at your destination.
Q.
What is a marsh gardener's favorite movie?
A. Bog to the Future!
Q.
How do you know you're a master gardener?
A. During your free time, you'd rather fart around in the
garden instead of watch TV.
Q.
What was Eve's role in the garden?
A. Eden mother.
Old
green-thumb gardeners never die. They just go to seed. |
Q.
What's the best part about being an urban gardener?
A. Getting down and dirty with the hoes.
Q.
What do garrdeners feed their thristy plants?
A. Root Beer.
Green
Thumb Chat Up Line: Hey
babe, I dig gardeners!
Blonde
Gardener Point to Ponder: Why does fire grow when it's fed,
but die when it's watered?
Gardener
Point to Ponder: If you leave your jacket outside with a
packet of seeds in the pocket and it starts to rain, would
you get a chia coat?
Q.
What do ghosts gardeners wear?
A. BOOOts.
Q.
When do werewolf gardeners have a shootout at the Denver
County fair?
A. At high moon!
Q.
Why couldn't the bachelor gardener's horse go faster than
a walk?
A. He Cant-a-loupe.
Q.
Why did the landscape maintenance guy become a drummer?
A. 'Cause he liked to beat around the bush.
|
Q.
After working with cow poop, how does a gardener clean her
hands?
A. She gets a manure-cure.
Hot
Chile Gardening Fact of the Day: Habaneros bite!
Q.
What did the gardener say to her new unurly flowers?
A. You're grounded!
Q.
What does a gardener call a collection of fruit trees that's
being badly neglected?
A. A tortured orchard.
Backyard
Botany Point for Gardeners to Ponder: With fronds like this,
who needs anemones?
Q.
What did the polite gardener say to Edgar Allan Poe to quickly
warn him that he's about to walk into a Blue Spruce?
A. Poetry!
Q.
Where do poems come from?
A. Poe-trees.
Q.
What is the last thing a hard-working gardener does at the
end of the day?
A. He leaves.
Old
gardeners never die, but they do push up daisies.
Q.
How did the old vegetable gardener die?
A. He just spaded away. |