Travel Jokes and See the USA Humor
the state of American humor, AK local laughs, AR resident puns,
CA grins, CO jokes and more.
Proceed with Caution! Northwest jokes, Midwest humor, Northeast
laughs and Southwest puns ahead.
Travel Jokes, State Humor, US City Puns
(Because TX Jokes, MN smiles,
FL Puns, IL Humor and NY LOLs Could Never Be TOO
Mainstream in All 50 States!)
| USA State Jokes | Redneck
Jokes | World Traveler Jokes | British
Travel Jokes | Travel Jokes |
| Air Travel Jokes | Mile
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Jokes | Taxi Cab Jokes, Uber, Limo
| Traffic Jokes, Road Trip LOLs |
Car Puns | Auto
Mechanic Jokes | Commute Jokes
| Bicycle Puns |
How do we all know that the toothbrush was invented
in the state of Arkansas?
A. 'Cause if it was invented anywhere else, it would be
called a teethbrush.
How are a tornado and a divorce in Arkansas alike?
A. Either way, somebody is bound to lose a trailer.
Why are residents of Arkansas into sciience?
A. Because they're into the Theory of Relativity
Why did they raise the legal drinking age to 30 in Arkansas?
A. Because they're trying to keep alcohol out of the high
you hear about the new law in Arkansas? Now, if a husband
and wife are divorced, they still remain brother and sister.
Why Calculus teachers so rare in Arkansas?
A. 'Cause they still don't really like integrating there.
What is the official Arkansas state bird?
A. The Red-necked Mosquito.
Why don't they bother with CSI investigations in Arkansas?
A. No dental records, and DNA testing is useless since everybody
there is related.
Wind Turbine: Are you a country music fan?
Another Wind Turbine: No, I'm a big metal fan.
How do you feel when you witness a Texas tornado?
A. Absolutely blown away!
How do Texans like their steak jokes?
A. Well done!
State Fact of the Day: Everybody in Texas thinks their state
is the greatest. But in fact, it is below OK.
What happens when there's a shooting at a Wal-Mart in Texas?
A. It becomes a Target.
What do locals call a Texas-sized dildo?
A. An arm-a-dildo.
What is the name of the crazy fun new Mexican restaurant
in east-central Texas?
A. Waco Taco.
Why shouldn't you tell an earthquake joke to an Alaskan
you just met?
A. Because that's a really bad ice breaker.
What did the guy take a fishing vacation to Alaska?
A. Just for the halibut!
What do Coloradans call a stoner from Anchorage?
A. Baked Alaskan.
What do the cops in Nome say during an interrogation?
A. Alaska questions here.
Us State Groan of the Day: Alaska does have a state
capital. Juneau that?
What do you call a cold hooker in Nome, Alaska?
A. A frost-itute.
Why can't women in Texas get a tattoo legally?
A. Because the code of the west is never draw on a woman.
What is the best part about being in the middle of the state
A. Any direction you go, you're on your way out of Texas...
Why do traveling gnomes from New York like to visit Minnesota?
A. Because that's where the mini apple is.
Fact of the Day: The Big Apple is not a city in
Minnesota, but Minneapolis is.
How do you know when it's really cold in Minnesota?
A. Everybody goes into the ice areana to warm up.
State Factoid of the Moment: Cock fighting is legal in Minnesota,
as long as you don't use fowl.
Why did the Minnesota Vikings walk into a bar?
A. To watch the Super Bowl.
Why do all the trees in Wisconsin lean to the west?
A. Because Minnesota sucks.
Which new cable channel is about pre Columbian Native American
A. Tepee TV.
Which anti-anxiety drug is manufactured in Southern California?
A. San Fernando Valium.
Where in California do plastic citrus fruit live?
A. Orange County!
Which California city is the most musical vacation destination?
A. Santa Harmonica.
Where do frozen waffles go to vacation in California?
A. Sandy Eggo.
Which US city's residents have the freshest breath?
A. Sacra-Mentos, California.
What is the official California state tree?
Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey
have the most toxic waste dumps?
A. 'Cause New Jersey had first pick.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree in Florida?
A. Hold onto your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job.
Time Trivia on the lanai: In Florida, they salt margaritas,
Which Florida resort town has many residents who love singing
sacred hymns of praise?
A. Psalm Beach.
Why is Florida so beautiful during the fall?
A. 'Cause the license plates seasonally begin to change
States Political Trend Tidbit: In the near future, Florida
will be a blue state. With rising oceans, it'll be under
Why do some old folks move south to Florida?
A. Because they don't like liberal snowflakes.
of Florida Tip of the Day: Never call a person from Tampa
Where do accordian players go to vacation?
A. The Florida Keys.
Why is the state of Florida a navigational nightmare?
A. Because the further north you go, the more southern it
Why can't you compare the state of Washington with Florida?
A. Because that's like comparing apples to oranges.
How do you know Floridians are untrusting?
A. Because they hide their keys way out in the ocean?
State Fact of the Day: In Florida, everything is in the
80s. The temperature, the residents, and the I.Q.s.
What does LDS mean to Mormons in Florida?
A. Ft. LauderDale Saints.
What did the Florida reporter say when he witnessed an obese
sea cow explode on live TV?
A. Oh, the huge manatee!
Which kind of reptile in the Florida Everglades only eats
A. The Pie-Thon!
Why did the New York City forecaster relocate to Miami?
A. 'Cause the weather didn't suit hm.
Where does a Major League Baseball player go when he needs
a fresh uniform?
A. New Jersey.
Why did a blonde guy on a first date take his girl to New
A. 'Cause she said she wanted him to kiss her where it stinks.
Where do Bronco fans get new team shirts if they don't want
to deal with New Jersey?
A. Old Neigh-vy!
Which Utah locale is known for folks slinging nasty remarks
A. Insult Lake City.
Q. Which popular breed of dog in Colorado has the most coins?
A. Bloodhounds, because they're always picking up cents
around the Denver Mint.
What is the mating ground of the Abominable Snowman?
A. Loveland Pass, Colorado.
Which TV weather forecast feature do Colorado potheads enjoy
A. The Highs.
Why do hipsters dig mine shafts in the Colorado Rockies?
A. Because they're so far underground!
Why don't all that many blonde Texans vacation in Colorado?
A. The sign said Colorado Left, so they turned
around and went back home.
US State Factoid of the Day: Colorado is the only place
where it's acceptable for a man to brag about how many 14-ers
he's been on top of.
When the kids got too close to the rim of the Grand Canyon,
where were their parents?
A. On edge.
Which baseball team frightens horses in Arizona the most?
A. The Diamondbacks.
Which southwestern town boasts hosts of citizens who own
a pair of graceful pond birds?
A. Two Swan, Arizona.
What is a rap fan in Arizona's favorite kind of weather?
A. A 'Lil Wayne.
What do you call two environmentalists hugging a redwood
in Yosemite National Park?
A. A tree-some.
After Dorothy left Kansas, where did she go to weigh
A. Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Where do Easter eggs like to go on vacation?
A. New Yolk City.
Where do cows go on summer vacation?
A. MooYork City.
Where do math teachers go on a vacation back East?
A. Times Square.
Why are there so many guys called Tony in New York?
A. When they boarded the boat, the ticket said "To
Which Big Apple hockey team has members from northern Scotland?
A. The New York Highlanders.
Which USA city is the smelliest?
A. Phew York City.
Why is the Brooklyn Bridge one of the oldest of its kind?
A. Due to its long life span.
What is it called when you verify the height of New York
Harbor's famous landmark's height?
A. Measuring the stature of Liberty.
How did the woman feel about the cost of her timely NYC
cab ride to 45th and Broadway?
A. If was fare and square.
How did the old guy in Buffalo, NY die?
A. He just shuffled off.
Why do New Yorkers like to vacation in Minnesota?
A. 'Cause that's where the Mini Apple Is.
What do pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common?
What is the name of Barbie's new beau doll who's a homless
guy from New Jersey?
A. Hobo Ken.
Where does corn on the cob like to go on vacation?
A. Lake Earie.
Which great city of the north is inhabited by many short,
A. Gnome, Alaska.
How do they make antifreeze in Alaska?
A. They take away her blanket!
Why was exploring Alaska in the 1800s so difficult?
A. It just came with the territory.
State Groan of the Day: Ever since the guy's girlfriend
moved to Alaska, she's been cold and distant.
Why did the guy's girlfriend break up with him after he
said she was just like Baked Alaska?
A. Because Baked Alaska is hot on the outside and cold on
the inside. He should have just said, "Sweet."
Why didn't the Alaska native like seal meat?
A. He just wasn't Inuit.
What is an Alaskan polar bear's favorite summer desser?
A. Eskimo pie.
What happened when the Boston fisherman's wife fell overboard?
A. A giant clam chowed her.
Q. Where do Cowlorado cowboys go to vacation?
A. Moontana and Cowlifornia.
Why did the Colorado beef herd return to the cannabis field?
A. It was a classic case of the pot calling the cattle back.
Plus, the steaks have never been higher!
you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have dragged him a mile! Yes, the bull was
really quite testy.
Travel Point to Ponder: Do Little Green Men on
vacation prefer Hatch chile from New Mexico, or Colorado's
Why did the space alien go to the doctor after eating Hatch
chile on his visit to Roswell, New Mexico?
A. 'Cause he was feelin' a little green.
What do Americans call the area of the country with the
A. State of the Art.
What happened when the underwear factory in Chicago exploded?
A. Nothing was left but da briefs.
Which USA state has the happiest gray wolf population?
What shouldn't you hang out with that Chicago Bears fan?
A. 'Cause Illinois ya!
Where do zombies with no arms and no legs play their championship
A. Wrigley Field.
How can you stop your Chicago Tribune from blowing away
in the wind?
A. Use a news anchor.
What do they call a loud-mouthed guy in Chicago?
Where might you go if you want to get blown away?
A. The Windy City, Chicago.
a recent trip to Chicago, the weatherman said it was muggy.
So, the visitor went outside to see for himself. Sure enough,
the tourist walked around the corner and some guy stole
What do stockings in Chicago find depressing?
A. Da feet.
Why are there so many decorative wind chmes in Chicago?
A. Because it's the Windy City.
Where did viking vampires first land in the Americas?
A. In New Fangland.
What ?do they call a banana hammock in Massachusetts?
A. A Cape Cod piece.
in which state might you see a priest pray, sneeze, and
What is a vampire's least favorite city?
A. Philadelphia, because it's always sunny there.
Where do vampires get their writing instruments?
Where do ghouls and goblins like to vacation?
A. Eerie, Pennsylvania.
What do cops in rural Pennsylvania say when they come across
a suspicious situation?
A. Something's Amish here.
What did Delaware?
A. Maybe a New Jersey? Idaho, but Alaska. OUCH!
Why is it illegal for a guy living in North Carolina to
be buried in South Carolina?
A. 'Cause he's still alive!
What did Tenessee?
A. The same thing Arkansas!
Why aren't there dress codes in Arkansas?
A. 'Cause they all have the same genes.
Why did the guy in Tennessee dip his testicles in hot salsa?
A. 'Cause he was a Jerry Lee Lewis fan. Goodnes gracious,
great balls of fire!
What do you call swampy plant and animal life in Louisiana?
A. Bayou Diversity.
Pal: Do you travel to Louisiana often?
Blonde: Only on a cajun.
Which is the lonliest swamp in Louisiana?
A. Bayou self.
Which is the smartest state?
A. Alabama. 'Cause it has four As and a B.
How long does it take to bet from Louisiana to Alabama?
A. One Mississippi.
What do you call a man in Biloxi who dresses in women's
A. Mississippi queen.
What has four eyes yet still can't see?
Why do disabled people like living in Mississippi?
A. They get double SSI.
What do you call California Highway Patrolmen who are chewing
A. Chips and dip.
State Fact of the Day: California supplies 2/3 of the nation's
fruits and nuts, and a lot of produce, too.
What is the official California state band?
A. Earth Wind and Fire.
What do you call the area between a California girl's breasts?
A. Silicone Valley.
Why is this a good time to buy real estate in California?
A. 'Cause it's really on fire there!
Why did California voters legalize marijuana?
A. 'Cause they had a high turn out.
What do you get if you unexpectedly win a California sweepstakes?
A. A Big Sur prize.
Where does Father Christmas go on his summer vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Which wind is named after Santa Claus's temperate cousin?
A. Santa Ana.
What kind of business did the seabirds open near the Golden
A. A bay-gull shop.
USA State Jokes | Alaska
Jokes, Canada Humor, Polar Puns | France
Travel Jokes, Paris Puns |
What happened when a freak tornado wiped out the Wisconsin
A. Nothing but de Brie was left in the whey.
What is a buff Wisconsin dairy farmer's favorite arm exercise?
A. Cheese curls.
What is today's weather forecast for Wisconsin?
A. Rain and light Bries.
wife was preparing lunch today, so she asked, "Honey, where's
the cheese grater?" I replied, "Some would say
France, others would say Wisconsin. It depends on your personal
Where do lawyers go to vacation in Iowa?
A. Sioux City.
Why are jokes about Iowa so painful?
A. Because they're really corny.
When heading west from Iowa into Nebraska, how do you see
A. Plain and simple.
Where is Engaged, Ohio?
A. Halfway between Dayton and Marion.
Which state is home to Xenia and Zanesville, the most populous
U.S. cities starting with the letters X and Z?
Which US state is high in the middle and round on both ends?
Which midwestern USA state is every horse's favorite?
Why is it always so windy throughout the state of Wyoming?
A. Because Idaho blows and Nebraask sucks.
Why did the hipster abandon his Augusta lighthouse?
A. It was too Maine.
State Fact: People from Maine are so vane. Even their T-shirts
say, "I heart ME."
Where do horses get their hair done?
How do Coloradans treat tourists from the Pine Tree State?
A. They always mind their Maine-ers.
Why is lodging so important in the Pine Tree state?
A. Because it's a Maine stay.
Why did Maine and Missouri become US states at the same
A. 'Cause Missouri loves company.
If you decide to just pack up and move, why would Tulsa
or Norman be a good choice?
A. Because they're both OK cities.
What happened to the guy who tried to sell the westernmost
county of Oklahoma?
A. He was arrested for panhandling.
What do you call humorous mistakes in speech by folks in
Why is Alabama the best state to be from?
A. 'Cause that means you don't live there anymore.
Which cellphone service provider is located in Birmingham's
A. Mobile Alabama.
What do you call the clamy temperature between two Georgians?
A. Relative humidity.
How do you predict the weather in Seattle?
A. If you can see Mt. Rainier, it's going to rain. If you
can't see Mt. Rainier, it's already raining.
Which US state has the most drty laundry?
What sort of white noise might you hear in Washington?
A. Puget Sound.
What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?
A. The Weekend.
What do you call a healthy guys who just moved from Portland?
A. Oregon Transplant!
Why do Nevada casinos on the strip make so much money?
A. Because that's Loss Vegas!
Which western city is the kidney donation capital of the
A. Renal, Nevada.
What is the name of the final roadside stop to get an eggy
A. Custard's Last Stand.
Road Travel Tip of the Day: You can see Abraham Lincoln
on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, if you head for the hills.
Did Betsy Ross really create the first American flag?
A. Sew the story goes…
Why was the USA flag changed in 1960?
A. Because Alaska and Hawaii were rising stars.
Hawaiian pizza with pineapple and ham was burned. They really
need to cook it at aloha temperature!
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| You Might Be From Colorado If...
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still on the road to laughter,
so here's even more All-American
stately smiles, home
groan jokes and tour-able
painful puns that'll move ya:
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
Batman Puns | Beer
Jokes | Bronco Jokes | Camping
Jokes | Cowboy Jokes | Eye
Doctor Puns | Fishing Jokes
| Hot Dog Puns | Locksmith
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Puns | Psychic Jokes |
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Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
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