Q. what did Yoda say when he gave Luke his first car? A. May the Porsche be with you!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Why did the blonde smear peanut butter on the road? A. To go with the traffic jam!
Two Fish Are in a Tank. One Asks the Other: "How Do You Drive This Thing?"
Q. What do you call a chauffeur that drives you to under-the-bar dances? A. A Limbo Service!
Q. Why did a vampire drive on the highway? A. He was told it was a main artery!

Q. What do you do when you see a space man? A. Park In It!


Car Jokes, Automobile Puns, Vehicle Humor
Cruise on down the highway to funny car puns, road humor, and travel jokes to drive you mad.

Auto Jokes, Car Travel Humor, Road Trip Puns
(Because High-Octane Car Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream if You're Stuck in Traffic or Filling the Gas Tank!)
Warning: Speed Trap Ahead! Hot rod humor, used car jokes, and a crash course to puns down this road.
| Car Jokes | Auto Mechanic Puns | Traffic Jokes and Road Trip Humor | Gas Jokes, Petrol Puns |
Motorcycle Jokes | Biker Gnome Jokes | Bicycle Jokes, Bike Puns | River Jokes, Upstream Puns |
| Truck Jokes, Semi Puns, Trucker Humor | Taxi, Cab, Uber, Limo Jokes | Train Travel Jokes |

When taking your car out in inclement weather, always make sure it's driving rain!Q. What kind of car does a stoner drive? A. A Blazer!Q. What is the favorite flower of USA auto owners? A. The Car-Nation!

Q. What did the tornado say to the sports car?
A. Hey, let's go for a spin!

Q. Why aren't there more funny automobile jokes?
A. Because car puns are exhausting!

Q. Where do many flat tires occur?
A. Where there is a fork in the road.

Q. What is the difference between a Mercedes and a porcupine?
A. The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Q. Why did Godzilla attack the automobile dealership?
A. Because he wanted to pick up trucks.

Q. How did developers of the new hover car work?
A. Tirelessly.

Q. What is the name of the perfume that features that new Tesla smell?
A. Elon Musk.

Q. What do you call an illustrator who draws funny pictures of motor vehicles?
A. A CARtoonist.

Q. What do you call a used car salesman?
A. A Car-deal-ologist!

Q. What is an autobiography?
A. A car's life story, as recorded on its dash cam.

Q. Which kind of car should you drive if you want the fastest fast food?
A. A Lam-burger-ini.

Q. Which vehicle does Darth Vader drive while vacationing in Colorado?
A. Nissan Rogue.

Q. What is a toy car with square wheels?
A. A terrible roll model.

Q. Which horror movie was about werewolves that come out at night and tow away everybody's cars?
A. The Hauling.

Car Point to Ponder: If everybody in the USA lived in their cars, would that be an in-car-nation?

An Audi, a Lexus, and a Cadillac roll into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What? Is this some kind of a joke?"

Q. What happened after the Nissan car factory exploded?
A. It rained Datsun cogs.

Q. Why did the blonde guy put a stove in his car?
A. To get a hot rod.

Q. Which kind of cars do cafe cooks drive?
A. Chef-rolets.

Q. What did Henry's innovations for reducing production costs of the Model T result in?
A. A-Ford-ability.

Q. What was the owner of the old classic Swedish car company including in his auto biography?
A. His Saab story.

A guy drove his expensive car into a tree, and found out how the Mercedes Bends.Q. What do you call a pair of vehicles involved in a plat? A. Two car collusion!Q. What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A. A To Yoda!

Q. How did the blonde get injured?
A. She was hit by a parked car. OUCH!

A dad was washing the car with his son. After a minute, the son asked his dad, "Do you think we could use that sponge instead?" OUCH!

Q. Which part of a car is the laziest?
A. The wheels, because they're always tired.

Q. When is a car not a car?
A. When it turns into a driveway!

Race Car Driver Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, would you like to blow my headgasket?

A guy test drove a late model used car, and it stopped on a dime. Unfortunately, the dime was in Grandpa's pocket. OUCH!

Q. Why was Karl Benz able to help pioneer the internal-combustion motor?
A. Due to his engine-new-ity.

Q. How can you tell when a used car salesman is lying?
A. His lips are moving.

Q. What do you call a group of cars?
A. A Clutch!

Q. What happens when dinosaurs crash their cars?
A. Tyrannosaurus Wrecks!

Q. What did the car say after it crashed?
A. Ouch, that was wheely unfortunate.

Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A. The porcupine carries his pricks on the outside!

Q. Who wrote the book, I Got Hit By A Car?
A. Jay Walker.

Q. Why do banks have drive thru windows?
A. So that cars can meet their real owners.

Q. Why were so many collectible Matchbox toy cars Ford models?
A. So kids would get used to pushing them.

Q. What do cops call a car thief who happens to be a contortionist?
A. An offender bender.

Q. What did Yoda say when he gave Luke his first car?
A. May the Porsche be with you!

Customer at Used Car Lot: Cargo space?
Nerd Car Salesman: No car do that, car no fly.

Q. Which kind of self-driving car takes you to a Jedi?
A. A To-Yoda!

Q. What does a Secret Santa give a kid who is obsessed by NASCAR and Star Wars?
A. A toy Yoda.

Q. How did the guy kill his car?
A. He throttled it.

Q. What kind of car did Jesus drive?
A. A Christler.

Q. What kind of car can drive over water?
A. Any car, as long as it's on a bridge!

Q. What do you call a guy who just won't stop talking about how fast his car can go?
A. Motor mouth.

Q. What kind of cars do Santa's elves drive? A. Toy-otas!You might be from Colorado if you carry your $3000 bike on top of your $500 car!Q. Where do Volkswagons go when they get old? A. To the old Volks home!

Q. How does a car salesman describe a banged-up used car?
A. A car in first-crash condition!

Q. Why didn't the cheap guy want to pay much for an off-roading vehicle?
A. He wanted to get it dirt Jeep.

Q. Which snakes are always found on cars?
A. Windshield Vipers!

Q. Which kind of cars do prostitutes in Norway drive?
A. Fjord Escorts.

Q. When is a car not a car?
A. When it turns into a driveway.

Q. What did the popular car rental company do when their business became sizable?
A. They changed the company name to MegaHertz.

Q. Why did the race car driver decide to retire?
A. He just ran out of gas.

Q. What kind of race car did the chef drive?
A. A souped up vehicle!

Q. Which kind of music does your automobile prefer?
A. Car Tunes.

Car Travel Points to Ponder: If you run behind your car, you'll get exhausted. If you walk in front of a car, you'll get tired.

Car Point to Ponder: Children in back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat of cars cause children.

Q. What did Stephen King's Christine suffer from?
A. Bad car-ma.

Q. Where does a dog park his car?
A. In a barking lot!

Q. Why did the guys quit when they got hungry while only halfway through waxing the car?
A. They stopped to polish off lunch.

Car Travel Point to Ponder: If you have a dream about a car, will you wake up exhausted?

Q. How are a Volkswagen and a bathtub alike?
A. You don't want to get out of either while people are watching.

Q. Where does a peg leg pirate go to buy a used car?

Q. What kind of car does an egg drive?
A. A Yolkswagen.

Car Repair Point to Ponder: Is having car insurance a pre-wreck-quisite?

Q. What did the tech guy call a drive-in server?
A. A car hop.

Q. What do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
A. A car.

Q. What's the best way to charge a car battery? A. With a credit card!You might be from Colorado if this guy was your last Uber driver!Q. Why did a blonde go to the dentist? A. Because somebody dented her car!

Robin: Batman, the car's not working.
Batman: Did you check the battery?
Robin: What's a tery?

Q. What happened when the blonde left her ADHD medication in her Ford Fiesta?
A. It turned into a Ford Focus.

Q. What's the difference between a car and a fish?
A. You can tune a car, but you can't tuna fish.

Q. Where do automobiles go to cool off during the summer?
A. A carpool.

Unanswered Riddle: Why does a guy who runs after a car get exhausted and a guy who runs in front of the car get tired?

Q. What do your car's four tires call the spare in the trunk?
A. A fifth wheel.

Q. What do you call somebody who researches the life of President Gerald Ford?
A. A Ford Explorer.

Q. Why did the race car driver quit his job?
A. The work was just too slow paced.

Q. Why did the car insurance adjuster quit his job at Geiko?
A. The work turned him into a total wreck.

Q. Which kind of motor vehicles do shellfish like best?
A. Mussel cars.

Jack Pick-Up Line: Hey Hotrod, can I give you a lift?

Q. What did the cops say when the bank robbers on the lam were stopped by an automobile?
A. That's carma for ya!

Q. Why did the car run away from home?
A. It wanted to join the carnival.

Q. What happened when the frog's car broke down?
A. It had to be toad.

Q. What do you call massive marine mammals traveling in huge cars?
A. Steering whales.

Q. What do you call a book about Henry Ford and his car company?
A. An auto biography.

Q. Which kind of motor oil does Darth Vader use while driving his car around the streets of Denver?
A. Sithetic.

Classic Car Groan of the Day: The old Caddie had been in mint condition for years, right up until the day of wreckoning.

Q. Which kind of car does a fast wolf drive up on his way from Steamboat Springs to Glenwood Springs?
A. A Furrari!

Q. What do you call it when a hatchet falls and damages your car?
A. An Axe-ident!

Q. What did the jack say to the hot car?
A. Can I give you a lift?

Q. Why don't all that many blonde Texans vacation in Colorado?
A. The road sign said Colorado Left, so they turned around and went home.

Q. How does a chicken learn how to drive a car?
A. She just wings it.

Q. What do you say to a cow that jumps in front of your flying car?
A. Moo-ve over.

Point to Ponder That'll Drive You Crazy: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Q. Which two things might a fruit-loving classic car buff have handy?
A. Peaches and chrome.

Q. How did the old automobile die?
A. It was driven into the ground.

Have you heard about the new eco car designed by a miser? It stops on a dime, and then picks it up.

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| You Might Be From Colorado If... | Mountain Jokes | Hipster Humor | Painful Groaner Jokes |

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