Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? His wife is still mourning. Cheese still not over it!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? A. Just Juan!
Q. Why is England such a wet country? A. Because the queen had reigned there for years and years!
Happy Tombs Day!

Hulk Humor: Got angry at a chef in an Italian restaurant and gave him a pizza my mind

Q. What do you call a country where everybody is pissed? A. A Urination!
Q. What do you call parts of a London police officer's uniform? A. Bobby socks!
Gorilla Chef Joke: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way!


World Travel Humor and Global Tourist Jokes
Trek along with worldly travel humor, worldwide trip puns, and global vacation jokes.

World Travel Jokes and Global Vacation Humor
(Because Global Travel Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream When You're Stranded at the Airport or Hijacked!)
Warning: Tour the World with Caution! Hostile hostel humor, international tourist jokes, and trip inn puns ahead.
| World Traveler | Europe Vacation Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Travel Jokes | Travel Hookups |
| France Travel Jokes, Paris Puns | Canada Jokes, Alaska Humor, Polar Puns | USA State Jokes |
| Air Travel Jokes and Airport Humor | Mile High Club Jokes | Sea Trip Puns | Road Trip Jokes |

If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom and Finnish when you come out, what are you in the bathroom? A. European!Which natural elevaton is home to the world's harshest weather? Mount Severest!Q. How did the lost Alaskan fishing boat captain get back on course? A. He Got His Bering Strait!

Q. What are you if you can say farewell in a variety of different world languages?
A. Bye-lingual.

Q. Which kind of cars do prostitutes in Norway drive?
A. Fjord Escorts.

Q. What did the Florida beach blonde say after hearing Oslo is a cold vacation destination?
A. There's Norway I'd ever go there!

Q. Where might you vacation in Europe if you like really nice things?
A. Luxembourg.

Q. How do French skeletons greet each other?
A. Bone-jour!

Mt. McKinley, Mt. Everest, and Mt. Rainier walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, this place is out of your range."

World Travel High Point: Mount Everest tops out at 29,029 feet, making it hard for other mountains to measure up.

Q. Why was the blonde guy afraid to fly to Finland?
A. He was afraid he'd disappear in FinnAir!

Q. Where do sharks like to go on their summer vacation?
A. Finland!

Q. What do you call a tourist who falls onto you aboard a train up north?
A. A Lapp-Lander.

An eskimo goes to his mechanic. Mechanic says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The eskimo replied, "No, that's just frost on my mustache."

Q. Which great city of the north is inhabited by many short, bearded beings?
A. Gnome, Alaska.

Q. Which airline do vampires take when going on vacation?
A. Scare Canada!

Today's Cold World Travel Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that ants don't live in Antarctica?

Q. What do you say to your mate who is struggling to sleep in Stockholm?
A. Swede Dreams!

Q. How man Germans does it take to change a light bulb? A. One. Germans are efficient and not very funny!Q. What do you call hipster slang in Berlin? A. German-ology!Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!

Q. Which country has the most viruses?
A. Germany.

Q. What do German wheat farmers say at bedtime?
A. Gluten Nacht!

Q. Who needs a French country house of their own?
A. A man who doesn’t want to live in somebody else’s chateau.

Q. Why doesn't anybody attempt to swim under the river in Paris?
A. Because that would be in-Seine. Eau, oui!

Q. What do you call the guy on the company's group of directors who was born in Berlin?
A. The German of the board.

Q. Why is every television program in Geneva about time?
A. Because that's what the Swiss watch!

European Vacation Pick-Up Line: Are you from Prague? 'Cause I can't help but Czech you out!

Q. Why didn't the Czech Republic tour guide take any bull sh*t from the vacationers?
A. He was very Prague-matic.

World Travel Point to Ponder: If Catwoman decided to move to Nepal, what would Catman do?

Q. Where in the world do vocalists and opera singers like to vacation?
A. Singapore.

Q. Where do a nest of angry hornets like to go on vacation?
A. Stingapore.

Q. Which European country is nearly devoid of any mountains or hills?
A. Flatvia.

Ape Chef Asks: Why should you never insult an Italian baker? Because he'll beat the Focaccia!Q. Why did one pirate move to Russia? A. He wanted to become a czarrr!Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? His legacy is a pizza history

Q. Why did the tourist get a babysitter in Italy?
A. So he'd be free to Roma.

Q. What is a profound reverence for a certain old Roman emperor called?
A. Nero worship.

Q. What did the waiter say to the tourists who arrived late to the restaurant in Athens?
A. Feta late than never...

Q. What's a Grecian Urn?
A. About twenty thousand drachmas a year, after taxes.

Q. What do you call a Greek back doctor who isn't a physician?
A. A gyropractor.

Q. Where do you go for vacation if you're in a hurry?
A. Russia.

Q. What do you call a gnome trouble maker that resides in Moscow’s citadel?
A. A Kremlin gremlin.

Q. Which forest animal is the mascot of the Russian Capital?
A. The Moss Cow.

Q. What did the tourist say while visiting Bulgaria?
A. Sophia, so good!

Q. Why is the Irish bank teller always so happy?
A. Because his capital's Dublin.

Q. Which Europeans travel the most?
A. Romans.

Q. What do you call an old realm ruler who was great at strengthening various metals?
A. The Holy Roman Temperer.

Q. What do you do in Italy's capital if you don't have an official agenda?
A. Roam Rome.

Q. What happened when two cheese delivery trucks collided in Paris?
A. De brie was everywhere!

Q. What did the tourists get when they saw the Paris tower lit up at night?
A. An Eiffel.

Chimp Chef Asks: Did you hear about the Italian chef injured in a pizza accident? Now, he cannoli do so much!Q. Why did the Jamaican take his wife to the bank? A. To open a joint account!Q. What was the dentist doing in Panama? Al Looking for the root canal!

Q. What did the Greek guide say when the tourists were late for the tour of the cheese factory?
A. Feta late than never.

Tourism Point to Ponder: Will the Acropolis still be a tourist attraction in another 2000 years? It remains to be seen.

Q. Where do pet rodents like to spend their leisure time?
A. Hamsterdam!

Traveler Thought of the Day: I'd like to vacation in Holland. Wooden shoe?

Q. How do you descibe it when au unpopular king is replaced by democracy?
A. Throne away.

Q. What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
A. Pokemon.

Q. Where might you vacation if you have a spiteful side?
A. Haiti.

Q. Where do sheeps go to vacation?
A. To the Baahaamaas.

Q. What were the most inferior man-made structures ever built?
A. The Seven Blunders of the World.

Q. Do old tourists in Egypt ever die?
A. No, they just go senile.

Q. What do you get if you cross an auto mechanic and an ancient Egyptian?
A. Toot'n Car Man!

Q. How did the builders at Easter Island erect the moai?
A. They gave them a heads up.

Q. Which country do folks with explosive tempers go to on vacation?
A. Grenada.

Q. Why are anacondas at home in South America?
A. Because they be long there.

Q. Where do you go to vacation if you really like spicy food?
A. Chile.

Q. What happens when you travel to Santiago during June, July, and August?
A. You experience Chile weather.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite country? A. Arrrgentina!Q. When will the trail mix have enough money to buy a map? A. When the bananas chip in!Q. How do you greet a Spanish pirate with a rubber toe? A. Hola Roberto!

Q. How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A Brazil-lion!

Q. What do you call a country that's obsessed by the sea?
A. Row-mainia.

Q. What is the specialty of the French drug dealer?
A. Oui-d.

Did you hear about the guy who wrote all his vacation jokes in all caps? HIS LAST ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.

Q. Are there any funny red wine jokes down unda at PainfulPuns?
A. You bet Shiraz there are!

Q. Why did the tourists use Sydney's metro?
A. Because they were down under.

Travel Point to Ponder: If you want to hang a map and add pushpins of places you've been, do you have to visit the top two corners first?

Q. Whatis the favorite board game of Tibetan boarder guards?
A. Chinese Checkers.

Q. What do you call it when you make an instant connection with somebody in South Korea?
A. A Seoul mate.

Q. What is the only drink size they allow in North Korea?
A. A supreme liter.

Q. What is the technical term for an Asian fellow who is always high-strung and impatient?
A. A Taipei Type A.

Hot World Travel News of the Dau" At over 4000 feet, the Gobi Desert hikers were not going to be left high and dry.

Q. What do you call Shanghai market workers who toss items in baskets?
A. Chinese checkers.

Q. What did the traveler say while on vacation in Cuba?
A. I'm Havana great time!

Q. Where do pet song birds like to go on vacation?
A. Canary Islands.

Q. Which mysterious Mafia member dwells alongside a long lake in Scotland?
A. The Loch Ness Mobster!

Q. What do you call automobile fuel pumped at a station on an official line between two countries?
A. Border petrol.

Q. If wild pigs could live anywhere in the world, where would they choose?
A. Boar-a Boar-a.

Q. Where do you go for a nightmare vacation?
A. The River Styx.

| World Traveler | Europe Vacation Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Travel Jokes | Travel Hookups |
| France Travel Jokes, Paris Puns | Canada Jokes, Alaska Humor, Polar Puns | USA State Jokes |
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| Space Travel Puns | Time Traveler Humor | On Time Jokes | Redneck Jokes, Good Ol' Boy LOLs |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Mile High Denver Jokes | Colorado Tourism Jokes |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | Mountain Jokes | Hipster Humor | Painful Groaner Jokes |

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